


No more secrets

by HammerToFall



Series: HP Next Gen [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Post-Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 01:18:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12594824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HammerToFall/pseuds/HammerToFall
Summary: Moments like this were just perfect. Why was Scorpius so good at creating moments like this? Albus didn't care at that moment that half the school avoided him like the plague, or that his dad was the famous Harry Potter, or that his grades weren't the best. He didn't even care that Scorpius seemed to have developed this new bond with Rose over the fact that they were both such good students. Because Scorpius was first and foremost Albus's best friend. And he was just about the only person in the world who made Albus feel like he really mattered.Takes place after the events of the cursed child. Eventual Scorbus pairing.





	1. Scorpius

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been sitting on this for a long time, playing about with the order of events and re-editing so much I can't even remember how I originally intended for it to turn out. It's especially difficult to work out the timeline with the constraint of the school year/holidays. I also spent a long time trying to make sure it makes sense, with the flitting between the three separate narratives (Albus, Scorpius and Rose).
> 
> I don't feel it's my best work but I just can't do any more with it. Hope you enjoy, anyway.

Scorpius was the first one awake in the dorm. He often woke hours before everyone else. The awful nightmares about the alternate reality he had briefly visited in which Voldemort was still alive were becoming less frequent and they were definitely becoming less vivid. But they still happened sometimes. This time he couldn't actually remember the dream, but that familiar cold dread that hung over him left him in no doubt as to what it was about. He looked over to Albus's bed and felt instantly calmer. Albus had drawn the hangings mostly around his bed (he preferred the privacy), but now he always left a gap facing Scorpius's bed, knowing that it made Scorpius feel better to be able to see him there. Besides, Albus had nightmares of his own sometimes too.

Scorpius watched Albus for a few moments. He was peacefully asleep, the bedcovers pulled up to just below his chin. His untidy dark hair, slightly overgrown, partially obscuring his eyes. His body gently rising and falling with his breath. Just knowing he was there, safe and well, made Scorpius feel a lot better. He  was still too agitated to go back to sleep though, so he groped around under his bed for the book he'd been reading last night. He started to read, but his mind kept drifting. Thinking about everything that had happened. Thinking about how things had changed. And about how things hadn't changed.

Nearly a year had passed since their time travel adventure and they were closing in on the end of their fifth year at Hogwarts. This past year at school hadn't been much different to those before. The whole school knew that Scorpius and Albus had been involved in some kind of incident involving Voldemort's alleged daughter and Harry Potter, but this no more encouraged people to approach them. If anything they were more outcast than ever. The discovery that Voldemort did indeed have a child out there did nothing to dispel the myth that Scorpius was his son. After all, if Voldemort can have one child then why not two? Some people thought that maybe Scorpius had even been in on the plan. That he had been helping her. His "sister". He shuddered at the thought. And as for Albus, well, everyone thought that he had gotten himself into trouble and his dad had had to come and save him. Which wasn't altogether untrue, and in Scorpius's opinion was nothing to be ashamed of anyway. But this seemed to reinforce the general consensus that Albus didn't really belong in the big brave Potter family and wasn't worth bothering about.

Scorpius didn't care about any of those things. He and Albus had gotten through four years with only each other and they didn't need anyone else now. There was no point in being sad about what other people thought. Things had more or less settled down now anyway. It had been pretty bad when the story first broke and it was all over the prophet. People would shout awful things at them in the corridors or make snide remarks about them in class. But new gossip emerged eventually and people stopped talking about it and left them alone. Albus and Scorpius had plenty of secluded spots around the castle which they frequented, so they weren't around other people much anyway. And studying for their O.W.L.s had kept them busy enough.

Strangely, the thing that had really gotten them through the most difficult period was a visit that Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had made to the school to speak to them. Scorpius was rather taken aback at first to be invited to this meeting with the head of the auror office and the minster for magic. He wondered if maybe they were in serious trouble with the ministry, if maybe their time travel had had some ramifications that were only just now being discovered. But it transpired that professor McGonagall had set up the meeting, having seen how some of the other students were treating him and Albus. Hermione did most of the talking ("my dad is rubbish at talking about anything real", Albus had said privately to Scorpius later). She talked about when Harry had been their age at school he knew that Voldemort had returned but the ministry was denying it. She said that the newspapers were printing all kinds of stories to try and discredit him and how everyone was calling him a liar. Albus had sat stoically through the whole thing, and at the end had demanded to know why his father had never mentioned any of this before.

 "Because I'm your dad Albus" Harry had replied sadly "I'm supposed to protect you from these things."

Scorpius's take away from the whole thing was that things could be much worse, and at least they didn't have the whole ministry against them. And if Harry had been able to get through that then he was sure Albus could get through this. Albus wasn't really the sort of person who looked on the bright side of things and Scorpius doubted that he'd taken on board a single thing Hermione had said, but he seemed somewhat perturbed by the encounter with his father. He had told Scorpius later that he never thought of his famous father being bullied by anyone. That knowing that he once was made him seem more normal somehow. 

That was one of the things that HAD changed. Albus was getting on much better with his father these days. They still weren't as close as Scorpius knew deep down Albus would have liked to be, but Albus was a lot less resentful in general towards him. After that visit they had taken to Cedrics grave, Albus was trying not to be so hard on his dad, and to actually try and listen to him. They even exchanged owls sometimes, just the two of them. 

Albus was on much better terms with Rose too. She came to sit with them at dinner every now and then and had even hung out with them at weekends once or twice. It had been a little awkward at first, both of them being overly polite and trying not to talk about any sensitive subjects (the whole Gryffindor vs Slytherin thing for example). Scorpius had tried to smooth things over by chattering incessantly, which seemed to mildly annoy Rose. But she tolerated him, for Albus's sake, he suspected. Over time things had gotten better, and now they were laughing and joking easily. And Scorpius felt as though Rose was warming to him too. She seemed genuinely friendly with him these days, rather than just tolerating him. It was nice. Even though they only saw her once a month or so, it was nice just to have someone else in the castle who he and Albus could talk to.

"How long have you been up?"

Albus's slurred voice brought Scorpius out of his daydream. He looked over and saw Albus sitting up and brushing his hair out of his eyes, only to have it flop back down in front of them again. He scowled and ruffled his hair making it stick up. He looked dishevelled, but at least he could see. Scorpius smiled fondly.

"Not long".


	2. Rose

Rose slid onto the Slytherin bench that evening at dinner next to Albus, across from Scorpius. A few of her Gryffindor classmates gave her quizzical looks as she did so, but she ignored them. She had long since lost her patience with people questioning why she wanted to hang out with "those two weird Slytherin boys".                   

"So, how's revision going?" She asked the boys, directing the question more to Scorpius than to Albus.

Albus shrugged and muttered "alright I guess." He then looked moodily down at his plate.

She had expected this reaction. Albus had been growing increasingly sulky as their conversations had turned to O.W.L.s and Rose and Scorpius had found that they had an awful lot to talk about on this subject. Rose wanted to tell him to grow up, but she reminded herself that Albus was sensitive, and he was just feeling insecure. All the same, she wasn't exactly going to NOT talk about their studies. They were about to sit their O.W.L.s. after all, it was a big deal.  

Scorpius noticed none of this, and lit up at the question.

"Oh I think it's going quite well. I'm really trying to push up from an E to an O in Arithmancy, I've been doing loads of practise papers and it's started to get easier. Well, either that or the same questions just keep coming up over and over again. Whoops. Imagine that, if I've just been answering the same ones over and over again! But even that's something, I mean, if the same topics always come up then at least I know that those are the topics I really need to nail."

He paused to take a bite of roast potato and Rose thought she had better interject before he started talking again. She had grown to quite like Scorpius. Albus had been right, he was really nice when you got to know him. She even felt a little bad for having pre-judged him so harshly. But he definitely talked too much.

"Yeah I've noticed that too. That sometimes they recycle the same questions but just change one bit of it slightly. You don't want to fall into the trap of trying to pattern-match though because if something different comes up you're screwed."

They chatted away about exams and revision for a while. Scorpius was thoroughly immersed in the subject and seemed to be having the time of his life. Rose guessed that he didn't get to talk about it an awful lot with Albus. Rose understood that. It's awkward talking to your friend about how you're going maintain being top of the year in Transfiguration when they were just hoping to scrape an A in the subject. Not that Albus was a bad student. But he was distinctly average. Whereas Scorpius... well, he should have been a Ravenclaw, let's put it that way, she thought. Still, she was uncomfortably aware that they were excluding Albus from the conversation, so she tried to drag him in.

"So Al, what are you going to do when it's all over? I for one can't wait to just lie in bed until the afternoon, completely guilt free."

"Yeah" he replied, smiling for the first time since Rose had come over. "Yeah that actually sounds like heaven right now."

"Mum was talking about maybe going camping over the summer holidays, but dad got all funny about it" Rose said, frowning at the memory. "He said it brings back too many memories or something. I tried to get it out of him what he was talking about but he just went all quiet and wouldn't say. Which was weird, you know what my dad's like, usually always joking about something."

Albus looked slightly confused at this for a moment, then gave a shrug and a sympathetic smile.

"That's a shame, camping would be cool."

Scorpius chimed in "I've always wanted to go camping, but my dad would rather die that sleep on the floor outdoors". The three of them all had a good laugh, imagining Draco Malfoy dressed in full hiking gear, crawling into a tent.

"Well" Said Rose "maybe we could go. Just us. I mean, we'd probably have to ask Teddy and James to come too because our parents would probably say we're too young to go alone" She rolled her eyes at this. "But it could still be fun."

"I'm sorry, but being stuck in a tent with James is not my idea of fun" Albus replied flatly.

"Well I'm going to ask my parents if I can go, it's up to you guys whether you want to or not” Rose said casually. “But either way, we should do something to either celebrate or commiserate our O.W.L. results."

"Hmmm" Albus murmured non-committally, evidently not thrilled that they were now back to talking about exams.

"Well, maybe you'll finally let me take you to dinner to celebrate what I'm sure will be a resounding success on your part" said Scorpius to Rose, with a valiant attempt at bravado.

She snorted as she got up to leave.

"In your dreams Malfoy".

This was an ongoing joke between the three of them. Scorpius had had a crush on Rose about a year ago and had made a bit of a fool of himself trying to win her over. She had been vehemently disinterested and Albus had just been embarrassed by the whole thing. Rose was sure that Scorpius was no longer interested in her and he had mercifully stopped telling her that she smelled like bread. But every now and then he would make a playful comment about asking her out, she would callously shoot him down and Albus would cringe. It was their thing. Or so she thought, until she heard Albus hissing to Scorpius as she walked away.

"Will you two stop flirting with each other."


	3. Albus

"We're not flirting" Scorpius replied, mortified. "It's just a joke. You know, I ask her out and she says no, just like she always has. I'm emasculated and she gets to walk away head held high. It's funny. Right?"

Albus didn't say anything. He seemed to be spending a lot of time not saying anything when Rose and Scorpius were talking. And not just because they always wanted to talk about exams (seriously, is the stress of having to do them not enough? Why did they have to go on about it all the time as well?). He knew his jealousy was unjustified, which is why he kept it to himself. He just wasn't used to having to share Scorpius with anyone. Least of all Rose, who had just barely tolerated him at first. But now all of a sudden she and Scorpius were best buds. When exactly did that happen?

Albus had never seriously considered the idea of his cousin and his best friend being together. He knew that Scorpius had fancied Rose a little while back, but she disliked him so much that it didn't seem remotely possible that anything would ever happen. And by the time she had started to warm to him it all seemed forgotten. Scorpius never talked about her to Albus. And surely he would, right? He was his best friend after all. But Scorpius and Rose were having little moments like that one that had just passed with increasing frequency. The way they smiled at each other and the way Scorpius's eyes sparkled. He couldn't help but feel he was being pushed out.

"Earth to Albus" Scorpius said loudly in his ear.

Albus shook his head.

"What?" He said indignantly, rubbing his ear.

"I said have you finished your astronomy homework yet? See? Now the 'Earth to Albus' thing is especially funny." He flashed that winning smile that Albus knew so well. Damn it why was that so endearing? Albus forgave him on the spot for blatantly flirting with Rose right in front of him like that.

"You, are a dork" he said, returning the smile. "And no, I haven't. I ...haven't actually started it yet" he admitted apologetically.

"I know" said Scorpius, slightly smugly. "Looks like a pretty clear night tonight though", they both glanced up at the ceiling where the sun was setting. It was indeed a cloudless sky. "I thought we could go up to the tower and work on it. I mean, I've finished a first draft of mine but I want to get a better look at Jupiter's moons, I think I could put more information about their positioning in early summer into my footnotes."

Albus rolled his eyes but grinned at Scorpius all the same. "You do know that it's Friday night, right?"

"Yes, but it's forecast rain for the rest of the weekend, and I really want to look at Jupiter's moons. And you need to do your whole star chart" he frowned at Albus, suddenly stern.

Albus knew he wasn't really annoyed, just trying to persuade him to go up to the astronomy tower. He needn't have bothered, Albus thought. There are definitely worse ways to spend an evening than looking at the stars. Even with Scorpius's running commentary on the different planets and their influence on certain kinds of magic. 

"OK fine" he said, pretending to begrudgingly agree, but ruining the effect a little by grinning "But we're stopping at the kitchens first to get snacks."

 

-

 

Up on the astronomy tower Scorpius had completely tuned into his inner nerd (which was even nerdier than his outer nerd) and wouldn't shut up about Jupiter's moons.

"I mean, it's just mad isn't it? That Calisto being closer to the Earth actually increases the flow of the magic in charms, so they're more effective. Wow. It's just fascinating, don't you think?"

"I think the stars are very pretty" Albus said dismissively, looking mischievously sideways at his friend, knowing this lack of enthusiasm would annoy him.

"My brilliant insights are wasted on you Potter" said Scorpius, trying to be aloof but not quite pulling it off.

"Brilliant insights like 'wow'?"

At this Scorpius actually elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hey!" Albus exclaimed, giving him a playful shove. Scorpius pushed him back.

They tousled for a couple of minutes but abruptly stopped when Albus accidently elbowed Scorpius in the face quite hard. 

"Ow! OK that one hurt" Scorpius was sitting up straight rubbing his nose, blinking quite fast as his eyes watered.

"I'm sorry Scorp, it was an accident" Albus sat up too and leaned over to him slowly to inspect the damage. No bleeding, it was OK. 

"Just because I made you do homework on a Friday night" Scorpius smiled, letting go of his nose, which was a little red but seemed fine.

"Well we've been at it for 2 hours now, I thought injuring you was the only way you'd let me take a break" joked Albus, relieved that Scorpius seemed to be fine.

"Yes well, I suppose we can take a break now. I mean, if you're happy to miss the opportunity to hear all the interesting things I know about Calisto." He flashed that big winning smile again and then lay down on his back, looking up at the stars. Albus followed suit.

"Yes, I am happy to miss that opportunity." 

"Oh and, by the way, _Scorp_?" Scorpius asked incredulously, still looking upwards at the sky.

"Yeah I dunno where that came from" said Albus truthfully "you don't like it?"

Scorpius was silent for a moment. Albus turned his head to look at him and he seemed to be thinking quite hard about it.

"If it was anyone else I don't think I'd like it. It's a bit overly personal. But from you it's OK. I think I like it actually." He smiled as he said those last few words.

Albus felt at peace. Moments like this were just perfect. Why was Scorpius so good at creating moments like this? Albus didn't care at that moment that half the school avoided him like the plague, or that his dad was the famous Harry Potter, or that his grades weren't the best. He didn't even care that Scorpius seemed to have developed this new bond with Rose over the fact that they were both such good students. Because Scorpius was first and foremost Albus's best friend. And he was just about the only person in the world who made Albus feel like he really mattered.

A long but peaceful silence passed with the two of them just lying there looking at the stars, until eventually Scorpius tentatively asked:

 "Do you really think Rose was flirting with me?"

 


	4. Rose

"Do YOU think he was flirting with you though?" Amy, Rose's best friend, asked very seriously.

Rose had briefly relayed the events from that dinner last week to her and they were now having an in depth discussion about whether Scorpius Malfoy still had the hots for her. Rose had tried to forget about what she had overheard as she left the table, but she couldn't get it out of her head. What exactly did Albus mean by what he said? What exactly was going on with Scorpius? She needed advice.

They were sat by the window in the Gryffindor common room that overlooked the grounds, but Rose wasn't really looking out of it. She was staring into space while she racked her brains trying to extract meaning from every single thing that had happened whilst simultaneously trying not to overthink it.

"Well that's just it, I don't know" said Rose desperately. "I didn't think so, not at the time, we were just talking about O.W.L.s. But Albus seemed to think he was."

Not just that, he seemed to think I was flirting back, she added in her head, but didn't dare say this aloud.

"I don't know, he's a massive geek, maybe that's his way of flirting?" Suggested Amy, rather callously. 

Rose frowned at this.

"Well he's a little... awkward. But he's really smart. And that kind of makes him interesting. And I don't think it means that he doesn't know what flirting is."

Rose heard her own tone of voice becoming irritable and wondered why she was being so defensive. Was it because she didn't want anyone slagging off a boy who liked her, for the sake of her own reputation? Or was it because she didn't want anyone slagging off Scorpius?

Amy evidently thought the latter, as she smirked and asked "So you're interested in him then?"

"I said he's interestING, not that I'm interestED" Rose snapped.

"Hmmm" Amy looked sceptical, but Rose shot her such a fierce look she didn't dare pursue the subject.

"Look, why don't you just ask Albus why he thought that?" Amy was getting irritable now. This conversation was obviously getting them nowhere.

"I can't do that, I'll look like a right idiot. Not even knowing if a guy is flirting with me..."

Rose knew it was ridiculous to obsess over a guy like this. Especially a guy she didn't even like. Especially a guy who she didn't even know if he liked her. And she could fully appreciate how silly it was to  be embarrassed about telling Albus anything. Because if anyone was going to NOT judge you for being socially awkward it was Albus. Him and his best mate were the champions of social awkwardness. But she couldn't tell him this. Not least because he and Scorpius were attached at the hip, and Albus would almost certainly tell Scorpius everything she said. But also because it would just feel weird involving him in it. They were in a pretty good place now with their friendship and she didn't want to jeopardise it by putting herself in between him and his best friend.

"But he did ask you out, right? I mean, that can't have come from nowhere" Amy said.

"I told you, he does it all the time. It's sort of an in-joke, he wasn't being serious."

"Maybe he was though. Maybe he said it like a joke so he could just laugh it off if you said no, but really he meant it."

Rose considered this. It seemed a bit farfetched - especially for Scorpius, who Rose didn't think capable of such mind games like that. He was way too up front. But strangely part of her quite liked the idea. The vain and self-centred part of herself that she didn't like, probably.

"No I don't think so" she said slowly. "He wouldn't ask me out in front of Albus if he meant it anyway, because imagine if I said yes? Albus would die right there on the spot of embarrassment."

"I don't know, those two are super weird" Amy said, her tone was again callous and dismissive.

Rose scowled but this time Amy didn't back down.

"Well I'm sorry, I know he's your cousin and everything, but they ARE weird. They don't have any other friends, they just skulk around the castle together trying to avoid everyone. It's pointless us trying to work out what they're thinking because they don't think like us."

She was talking about them as if they weren't even human, like they were trolls or something.

"Well maybe that's why I like them" Rose snapped and stormed off, out of the common room and into the corridor.

She slightly regretted this once she was outside in the corridors and had no idea where to go. It was hours until dinner. But she wasn't going to go back in and apologise to Amy, so she stomped off down the corridor in the general direction of the entrance hall, thinking maybe she'd go for a walk outside. Her anger did not dissipate as she walked. If anything, she got even more angry.

Why can't my idiot friends just focus on their own lives instead of passing judgement on everyone else's? She thought furiously. And then felt a twinge of guilt, as she knew that this time last year she had been exactly the same, judging Albus and Scorpius because they were a bit different. 

And why can't Scorpius just leave me alone? She thought irritably. I don't need this in my life, all this confusion about whether he likes me or not and whether I like it or not. Whether I like HIM or not.

Rose stopped in her tracks and shook her head, as if trying to bring herself out of a daze. That was the first time she had ever allowed that thought to enter her consciousness. No, she thought firmly, no of course I don't like him. I mean, he's alright, I like him as a sort of weird friend I guess. But I don't like like him. I mean, he's weird, and he talks too much and he's a complete geek. And he's practically in love with Albus, it could never work. Not that I'd ever WANT it to work. Oh, bloody hell.

Making her mind up on the spot she spun around and practically ran all the way to library. She was going to put a stop to this once and for all.

As she had hoped, Scorpius was there. He was sat bolt upright in his chair, holding a book up to his face. He was frowning slightly, his nose about an inch from the pages of the book he was perusing. His usually sleek blonde hair was messily swept back, from where he had obviously been running his hands through it. But it kind of suited him. 

Unfortunately, Albus was also there (of course he bloody was). He was lounging back in his chair, looking considerably less stressed, but absorbed in a book of his own. Bits of crumpled parchment littered the table in front of them. Albus suddenly sat upright and tapped Scorpius on the shoulder, pointing at something in the book. Scorpius squinted at it and then broke out into a grin, which Albus returned proudly.

It was a sweet moment, and Rose felt rather fond of the pair of them as she witnessed it. She almost lost her resolve there and then, but Amy's mocking voice rang in her ears ("So you're interested in him then?"). She steeled herself and approached the table.

Albus saw her coming first (Scorpius was now engrossed in the book Albus had handed him) and gave a sort of half wave by way of greeting, looking surprised. But Rose had something important to do and she wasn't going to get side-tracked. She ignored him.

"Scorpius" She hissed as she reached their table.

Scorpius jumped slightly and looked up. He blinked a few times, obviously confused, before smiling in that friendly, sunny way he always did.

"Oh, hi Rose. What can we do for you?"

That smile wasn't helping.

"Can I have a word?" She said, trying to keep her voice calm and even.

"Oh, er, OK sure" he said hesitantly. "Let us just pack up our stuff." He reached under the table for his bag.

Rose shook her head.

"This won't take long. And I just want to talk to you." She looked sideways at Albus, who looked both confused and hurt. 

"Sorry Al" She said simply.

"What's this about?" Albus demanded.

Rose sighed. She knew it was going to be difficult to get Scorpius on his own. That was precisely why the whole situation was so weird in the first place. Maybe Amy had a point, maybe the two of them really should try and make other friends.

"Nothing that concerns you Al" Rose said dismissively.

Albus looked to Scorpius for support. Scorpius looked upset at being put in this position. He bit his lower lip, looking back and forth between Rose and Albus for a second, before saying quietly to Albus "Just wait here OK? I'll be right back. It's OK."

Albus folded his arms and scowled at Rose, but she ignored him, waiting as Scorpius stood up and manoeuvred around the table, before walking back out of the library, glancing back to make sure Scorpius, and only Scorpius, was following her.

Once they were outside, Rose didn't bother with any preamble.

"Look, I heard what you and Albus were saying about the two of us flirting last weekend and I want it to stop OK? I am NOT flirting with you. That whole thing where you ask me out and I say no, I thought it was just a joke OK? But if it's not it needs to stop. I thought we'd been over this. I am NOT interested in you Malfoy."

The words had come out harsher than she meant them to, and she felt a horrible twinge of regret as she finished speaking. She wasn't even sure that she had meant what she said, she quite liked their ongoing joke about him asking her out. It was a little thing that made them friends in their own right, not just because of Albus.

Scorpius looked mortified.

"I...I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean anything. I TOLD Albus I didn't mean anything. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry. Really really sorry" he stammered.

He looked desperate, as though he was about to start crying. And there was definitely still confusion on his face. He doesn't even know what he's apologising for, Rose thought. She felt awful.

She sighed again and looked down at the floor.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It just felt like the two of you were talking about it behind my back or something." She looked up at Scorpius, who still looked devastated. 

"Bloody hell Scorpius, we're friends aren't we?" She said, thoroughly ashamed and annoyed at herself for her outburst.

"Erm, well, I don't know. I mean, I know you wouldn't hang out with me if it weren't for Albus, but I like talking to you about exams and stuff, and I thought things were going OK..." he tailed off and looked down at the floor.

Rose impatiently grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a little shake.

"We ARE friends, Scorpius. And not just because of Al. And that means I can tell you when something's bothering me. So this was me telling you OK? So we're good now, OK?"

She waited, her eyebrows raised. Scorpius slowly looked up at her. He still looked upset, but he also looked hopeful.

"OK" he agreed.

"Right...well.." Rose released him. It all felt a bit awkward now. She wished he would stop staring at her so sadly like that.

"See you around, I guess" She said and walked away, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow her right there.


	5. Albus

Albus didn't like this. He didn't like it at all. A million thoughts swirled around his head as he sat there, arms still folded, waiting for Scorpius to come back. What on earth could they possibly be talking about? Rose had looked angry. Was she angry with Albus? But then, why would she talk to Scorpius about that? Was she angry with Scorpius? But then, why would she want to exclude Albus from that? Maybe she wasn't angry at all, maybe she was just annoyed that Albus was trying to butt in on whatever was happening outside with the two of them right now. But Albus could only think of one thing that Rose would be so desperate to get Scorpius alone and get Albus out of the picture for. And that didn't bear thinking about. 

A sudden, unwanted vision of Rose and Scorpius passionately kissing swam to the front of Albus's mind. He shook his head, trying to push it away. That's ridiculous, he thought fiercely. Rose hates Scorpius.

But did she? Maybe once, but things were different now. Albus had seen it with his own eyes, the two of them getting closer and closer. Pushing Albus further and further away. He had seen the playful way Rose was starting to tease Scorpius. And he had heard the hopeful spark in Scorpius's voice that night he had asked Albus if he really thought the two of them had been flirting.

"I dunno" had been his non-committal response at the time. And they hadn't spoken about it since. But Albus had been lying. The answer was yes. He DID think that Rose was flirting with Scorpius. And he knew that Scorpius liked it. And Albus DIDN'T like it.

Scorpius came back into the library, looking thoroughly traumatised. Albus was instantly relieved, but then felt bad for being glad that Scorpius looked miserable.

"You OK?" He asked, worried, as Scorpius slid back into the seat next to him. 

"Yeah I think so." He said, sounding slightly dazed and staring straight ahead.

That means no, Albus thought. All other obvious signs aside, Scorpius failing to enunciate properly was a red flag.

"Yeah?" He said, putting as much emphasis on the word as he could.

"Yeah. I mean, yes" Scorpius frowned. "Yes, I'm fine." He seemed to have come back to his senses, and stopped staring into space. He picked up a book off the table, opened it at random and pretended to read, but Albus could see that his eyes weren't moving across the page.

Well, that was better. Still not convincing though. Albus waited for him to elaborate. When he didn't, Albus said impatiently:

"So?"

Scorpius took a deep breath, still looking at the book and not at Albus. Albus could tell he was weighing his words carefully. Which was never a good sign. The two of them didn't keep things from each other. Well, they never used to anyway.

"She just wanted to check that the whole me-asking-her-out thing was indeed a joke, and to inform me for the thousandth time that she isn't interested in me. You know, the usual."

He was trying to sound casual, but Albus could hear the disappointment in his voice. It was at complete odds with the tremendous relief he felt himself. Something was still a little off though. 

"Well, why couldn't she have said that in front of me?" He asked, frowning.

Scorpius put down the book and looked at Albus, his expression puzzled.

"I don't know actually. That is a bit strange isn't it?"

He cocked his head to the side while he thought about it. 

"Maybe she didn't want to embarrass me?" He suggested, but not sounding convinced.

Albus gave a derisive snort. Rose had never once in all the time Albus had known her been that considerate. She seemed to agree with James that embarrassing Albus was good for him ("you need to learn how to take a joke" they often said), and Albus saw no reason she would extend that courtesy to Scorpius either.

"OK, point taken" Scorpius said thoughtfully. Albus smiled at the fact that Scorpius knew exactly what he meant, even though he hadn't actually said anything.

"Maybe she didn't want you defending me?" Scorpius suggested, sounding even less convinced.

"Why, was she really harsh?" Albus said seriously.

"Well... no not really. Well maybe a little bit, but she was quite upset. It was my fault really" he seemed be thinking quite hard.

"It was a proportionate response" he finished, decisively. 

Albus doubted that very much. Scorpius was being too nice, as always. She could probably punch him in the face and he'd thank her for it. He made a mental note to tell her to back off next time he saw her.

"She did say we were friends though, and not just because of you" Scorpius added, hopefully. There was that glass-half-full attitude kicking in.

"Well, that's something" Albus replied, picking the book back up off the table and disappearing behind it so that Scorpius wouldn't see the resentment on his face.


	6. Rose

Rose hugged Albus goodbye as her mother started shooing her, Hugo and her dad towards the exit of the train station, saying:

"We'll see them again in a few days, come on, grandma and grandpa Weasley are expecting us."

"I'll probably see you soon Al, I'll owl you about the camping thing OK?" Rose called back to him cheerfully as she trotted along after her family.

She felt elated. Exams were finally over and she thought that they had gone reasonably well. She had certainly tried her best, driving herself (and everyone else) half mad with revision mania. Staying up until the early hours of the morning trying to cram the knowledge into her head. Covering everything she owned in post-it notes with little bits of spells and trivia on them. Poring over books during mealtimes. Snapping at anyone who interrupted and occasionally having a full breakdown when the stress got too much. But now that was all forgotten. O.W.L.s were finally over, and she had a whole blissfully empty summer ahead.

The Granger-Weasley family passed Draco and Scorpius on their way out of King's Cross. Rose's mother stopped to greet them, which Rose thought was distinctly unfair, as she had been so adamant a moment ago that they needed to get going. Her father looked as though he was thinking the same thing, although he politely joined in their chat about some ministry networking event that was coming up.

"Gives me a chance to get my old dress robes out again" he said winking at her mother, who found this very funny for some reason, and even Draco joined in the laughter. Hugo was stood rather sulkily between them, looking bored.

"We appear to have waylaid you, sorry about that" Scorpius said to Rose apologetically. 

Rose smiled, suddenly finding that she didn't mind at all.

"Well it's all part of my mum's job" She joked. "Pretending that she likes her colleagues. Diplomacy and all that."

"Yes, I’m sure..." Scorpius smiled awkwardly. It was a more reserved smile than the bright and sunny one she was used to.

Things had been somewhat strained between them ever since she gone off on him that time at the library. He had been acting carefully reserved around her ever since. Which was so blatantly un-Scorpius-like that she felt sure that he had really taken what she said to heart. He was usually completely all-in (whether you wanted him to be or not). That was pretty much the best thing about Scorpius - he was fearless in a way, putting himself completely out there with no hesitation or reservation. You never had to try and guess what he was thinking. But she was certainly kept guessing now. And she didn't like it at all. There hadn't really been time to address the issue over the last few weeks at school, what with exams and everything she had barely even seen him and Albus. And she had thought it would probably get better over time anyway. But it didn't seem to be.

"Look Scorpius, about what I said -" She started, but then her father’s voice interrupted her, calling out to someone behind Rose. 

"Well, fancy running into you here" he said jovially.

Rose turned to see uncle Harry grinning and Aunt Ginny rolling her eyes.

"I thought you were leaving" Ginny said rudely to her brother, but she was smiling mischievously. She and Harry also greeted Draco, and all of them were chatting away. Albus joined Rose and Scorpius. 

"We might never get out of here, if they keep running into people they know" he said, jerking his head towards their parents looking exasperated.

Scorpius gave Albus a genuine smile, seeming pleased at the interruption. Rose scowled, feeling left out.

"So what are your plans for the summer, Scorpius?" She asked, demanding his attention again.

"Oh, um..." he seemed surprised at the question. "Well dad and I are going to Italy at some point, there's loads of historic buildings there that will be fascinating." 

He was perking up now, talking excitedly, with that slight look of awe he got in his eyes when he talked about history - which was inexplicably his favourite subject. Rose felt a sudden surge of affection for him.

"There's this old bell tower in Pisa that someone put a stabilising charm on in the twelfth century, but it's been slowly degrading over time and the tower just keeps tilting further and further over. I can't wait to see it" he beamed.

"Yeah sounds cool" Rose said enthusiastically.

She caught Albus looking at her suspiciously and looked back at him quizzically. What on earth was his problem? Scorpius didn't notice, and carried on talking about old buildings, a slightly glazed and faraway look in his eyes. It was adorably really.

Rose gave her a head a slight shake. Had she really just thought that?

Scorpius did notice this and tailed off in his description of some ancient arena where wizards used to make muggles fight for their amusement.

"Um, everything OK?" He asked Rose.

Rose was embarrassed. Scorpius was looking mildly concerned but Albus was now looking at her in a very knowing way. Even though he couldn't possibly know what she had just been thinking, she felt rather exposed all of a sudden. But she recovered quickly.

"Oh sorry, I was just thinking... that sounds much cooler than anything I'll be doing this summer." 

She said, pleased with herself that it sounded convincing. Scorpius bought it but Albus continued to look suspicious. 

"Well we still have that prospective camping trip to look forward to" Scorpius said cheerfully. 

Rose was pleased that he seemed to be acting normally again. She wished Albus would stop looking at her like that, but she didn't want to acknowledge it, so she tried to ignore him.

"Yeah" She replied to Scorpius "maybe we'll go when you get back so you can tell us all about your trip? Or-" She added playfully "actually maybe we'd better go before your trip, so you don't bore the pants off us talking about history the whole time." 

Scorpius blushed a little, but looked pleased all the same. Rose beamed at him. This was just like old times. She was glad.


	7. Scorpius

Scorpius was having a late breakfast in the kitchen when the owl arrived. He had taken recently to lying in bed after he had woken up in the morning, perusing his new books about historic Italy that he had brought back from his holiday. It was a Saturday, but his father had received an early owl about something had to go into work that morning so Scorpius was home alone. 

He had thought when the owl arrived that it was probably some more post from the ministry for his father, so he calmly stood up and walked across the kitchen to open the window for it, a piece of toast in his hand. It was only when he was opening the window that he saw that the letter had the Hogwarts crest stamped into the seal on the back. He dropped his toast on the floor as the owl perched on windowsill held out its leg for him to untie the letter.

He did so with fumbling hands, only realising he was breathless when he tried to say thank you to the owl. It simply looked at him blankly and then took off, leaving Scorpius alone again, with his letter.

The trip had entirely driven O.W.L. results from his mind. He hadn't even thought about them in weeks. But even if he had been, there was no way he would have expected them today. There was no set date for the release of exam results, because it took different amounts of time to mark the papers each year, depending on how many students there were. They also marked the N.E.W.T. papers first, these being more critical, as the seventh years were all applying for jobs and things like that. This was early. Very early, to be receiving them. In fact, he wondered if perhaps this was not exam results at all. But what else could it be? What else would the school possibly send him such a thick envelope about in the middle of the summer? There must have been a small class of N.E.W.T. students this year.

Scorpius was afraid to open it. He turned the envelope over in his hands to look at the writing on the front, making doubly sure it was addressed to him. It was. He turned it over and again and opened the envelope, breaking the seal. But he didn't take the folded parchment out. He just stood there, frozen, looking at it.

"Get it together Scorpius" he whispered to himself, as he suddenly thought of Albus in the exact same situation. Albus wouldn't be afraid, he'd carelessly tear open the envelope and dive right in. Of course, Albus's grades didn't mean quite as much to him as Scorpius's did. But still. He was being silly.

He pulled out the folded parchment with shaking hands and opened it slowly, hardly daring to look at it.

 

_Ancient Runes     O_

_Arithmancy     O_

_Astronomy     O_

_Charms      O_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts      E_

_Herbology      E_

_History of Magic      O_

_Muggle Studies      E_

_Potions      O_

_Transfiguration      O_

 

He re-read the list through a few times, feeling more elated each time. These were good. Really good. He had been expecting an O in Ancient Runes and History, these being his strongest subjects. The E in Defence was a little disappointing, but the professor had said it was notoriously difficult to get an O in that subject. He was pleasantly surprised with the O in Arithmancy, that had been a tricky exam. Herbology he suspected the practical had let him down, he had been strangled by the venomous tentacula and had to sever one of its vines to break free. Professor Longbottom had been displeased about that - he wasn't supposed to damage the plants. And muggle studies - well, to be honest he had only really taken that to reinforce the fact that he was not a muggle-hater, which despite no evidence to show for it some small minded people tended to think he was. 

Yes, he was pleased. Very pleased. He looked up from the letter, grinning, and remembered that he was alone in the house. He felt disappointed in having no one to share this news with. But it wasn't his father's fault. That hadn't known the letter was coming today after all.

Scorpius looked back down at the letter and realised that there was another page behind the one with his results on. He read it curiously, and his smile widened with every word 

 

_Mr Malfoy,_

_I don't usually write to my students personally about their exam results. But I felt compelled to inform you that your essay on the political movement preceding the formation of the international statue of secrecy in 1689 was one of the finest I have ever read. In fact, it contained insights that even I myself had never before considered._

_This essay, with some work, I believe could form the basis of a research paper which could be published in a journal. I happen to have several contacts at 'Ancient History' who I'm sure would consider your work for publication, if we can achieve a sufficiently high standard with a bit of redrafting. If you come to see me at the start of term we can arrange regular meetings in which we can work on this._

_You should be very proud. I have noted before now your enthusiasm and aptitude for the subject of history and I must say I have so rarely seen any student who engages with the material as you do. I am confident that you will make a fine magical historian, as is undeniably your calling._

_Well done again, Scorpius._

_Sincerely_

_Professor Cuthbert Binns_

 

This was too much for Scorpius, who felt tears leaking out of his eyes as he reread Professor Binns' letter. 

"Dad, where are you!" He shouted in frustration as he reached the end of the letter again, wiping his eyes impatiently.

 The silence in the house was deafening. He wanted to scream. To cry. To hug someone. He NEEDED to tell someone, this was too huge not to tell someone.

Without even really thinking about what he was doing (without even stopping to put shoes on) he marched into the drawing room and grabbed the pot of floo powder from the mantelpiece. The fire was still burning from where his father had flooed to work earlier. Before he knew it, he was climbing out of the fireplace in the Potters' empty kitchen.

"Albus?" He called.

"Who's that?" came Albus's mother's voice from the next room.

She appeared in the kitchen doorway with an armful of laundry, looking very surprised. It was only now occurring to Scorpius how rude it was to floo right into someone's house without telling them you were coming first. He went red.

"Hi Mrs Potter. Um, I'm really sorry to burst in like this, but..." he held up the parchment in his hand "... O.W.L. results..."

She smiled at him, understandingly.

"Hi Scorpius. Yes, Al's came too a few minutes ago. But he's not here I'm afraid. He's out with his dad."

Scorpius was incredibly disappointed. This obviously showed on his face because Mrs Potter smiled sadly at him. He was also now starting to feel a little foolish. It had been very presumptuous to just show up like this.

"Sorry. I.. um... I guess I'll go then..."

He was turning around back to the fireplace when Mrs Potter asked, kindly:

"So, how did you do?"

Scorpius knew that she was just feeling sorry for him, but he appreciated the interest all the same.

"Seven Os, three Es" he said shyly. "But that's not the big news."

He held out Professor Binns' letter to her. She took it with her free hand and read, smiling as she did so. When she reached the end she dumped the pile of laundry she was holding onto a nearby chair and pulled Scorpius into a motherly hug.

"Scorpius that's wonderful. I bet your father is so proud"

Scorpius was taken aback, but her tone was warm and genuine. Scorpius had always assumed that Ginny, much like Harry, didn't care much for Scorpius, due to their difficult history with his father. But now he wondered if perhaps that awful forced separation between him and Albus in fourth year had come much more from Harry than it had Ginny. He wondered if perhaps she actually didn't mind him so much. If maybe she even liked him a little. He felt overjoyed at the thought. His eyes started to tear again as he let the happiness overwhelm him. It had been an emotional morning. He also thought vaguely of his own mother and how she would be hugging him like this, if she were here.

Mrs Potter pulled away and looked alarmed at seeing the wetness of his eyes. 

"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

Scorpius tried to pull himself together and blinked back the tears. He was glad to hear that his voice was steady when he spoke. 

"Sorry" he said quietly "I was just thinking about my mum. She would have been proud." He cleared his throat and said, in a more normal tone "But my dad will be too. I haven't seen him yet though, he had to go to work."

Mrs Potter was still looking at him sympathetically.

"You can stay here and wait for Al if you want?" She offered kindly. "I mean, I don't know how long they'll be, it's just me here. But you won't be bothering me, I'm just tidying up."

Scorpius took back the letter she was holding out to him and shook his head.

“No thanks Mrs Potter, I’ll just head home. My Dad should be back soon anyway.”

Truthfully Scorpius had no idea how long his father was likely to be, but he didn’t particularly want to hang around Albus’s house when he wasn’t there. This whole encounter had been awkward enough and his emotions seemed to be all over the place. He didn't want to start crying or something.

Mrs Potter nodded and waved her wand at the fireplace, conjuring a fire. She dug a pot of floo powder out of one of the cupboards and offered it to Scorpius.

"I'll tell Al to owl you the second he gets in, alright?" she said, as he threw it into the fire.

"Thanks" Scorpius said, smiling brightly at her. She smiled back and watched as he disappeared in the fireplace.

 

-

 

Scorpius had barely been home five minutes when he heard Rose’s voice shouting from the drawing room.

“Scorpius! Are you there?”

He jogged over there from the kitchen. Rose’s head was in the fireplace.

“Oh..erm.. Hi.” He said, surprised. “You’re lucky I was only in the other room, I never would have heard otherw-“

“Did you get your results?” she cut across him. “I got mine! Can I come over?”

“Um… Sure” Scorpius replied, rather taken aback.

He stepped back from the fireplace as Rose’s head disappeared, to be replaced by Rose herself bursting out of the fireplace a few minutes later.

“I just went to Al’s but he’s not there” she said, brushing soot off her jeans.

“Yeah me too” Scorpius said.

She was looking expectantly at him. Scorpius suddenly felt rather awkward. Why exactly was she here again?

When he didn’t say anything, she held out a piece of parchment she had in her hand to him, her other hand outstretched. Scorpius understood.

“Oh, mine are in the kitchen” he said. “This way.”

They strode to the kitchen in silence. This was definitely awkward, but Scorpius didn’t know why. He picked up his results from the table and handed them to her, opening the parchment she had given him and taking a look at it.

 

_Ancient Runes     O_

_Arithmancy     E_

_Astronomy     O_

_Care of Magical Creatures     O_

_Charms      O_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts      O_

_Herbology      O_

_History of Magic      E_

_Potions      O_

_Transfiguration      O_

 

"An O in Defence? Nice" he said impressed. "And yes, you beat me. I only got seven Os. Congratulations."

He beamed at her, but she wasn't looking at him, she was now reading the second piece of parchment which he had handed to her alongside his results, without realising - professor Binns' letter. She looked amazed.

"Scorpius..." She said, sounding astounded, still reading "this is fantastic!"

She reached the end and looked up at him smiling proudly. She's proud of me! Scorpius thought happily. He thought he might burst with happiness. She leapt towards him to close the gap between them and threw her arms around his neck. He had thought she was going for a hug, but she pressed her lips against his, her eyes closed. Scorpius, whose eyes were still open, froze in shock.

Rose pulled her head back and opened her eyes halfway, her arms still around his neck, now smiling lazily. 

"I- are we? Are you? This is... um. Hi" he stammered, nervously.

He felt stupid just standing there like that, still holding Rose's results in his hand. But it felt weird to put his arms around her. He was sure that's what you were supposed to do in these situations though, so he held the parchment between his fingers and he tentatively placed his hands on her hips.

She kissed him again, more gently this time. This time he closed his eyes and returned the kiss. This was his first kiss. He let the warmth of it rush over him and felt his hands sliding round her lower back, pulling her into more of an embrace as he continued to kiss her. He was dimly aware that this should be some sort of earth shattering experience for him. That’s the way people always described it in books. And it was nice, sure. But Scorpius felt distinctly awkward still. He was trying to match her lip movements and hoped that he was doing it right. He also wasn’t sure where he should put his hands. There were currently resting on her back – but maybe he should be caressing her face or her hair.

After a while they broke apart and gazed into each other's eyes. She was looking at him like she never had before. The way people looked at each other on the labels of love potions.

She took his hand and led him out into the garden, where they sat in the sun and calmly discussed their O.W.L. results, neither of them acknowledging what had just happened, apart from the fact that they were holding hands. Scorpius had never felt so at peace before. This had been the perfect day.

An hour or so passed before Rose said she had better be getting back. Scorpius walked her back to the drawing room and Rose kissed him again, promising that they would see each other again soon. After she disappeared into the fireplace, Scorpius went next door to the kitchen again and started absent mindedly getting himself a glass of water. He felt like he was in a bit of a daze.

Had that really just happened? What had made her change her mind, after all this time? He thought back over the past couple of months. He supposed that there had been some signs of her being interested in him. Albus had pointed it out more than once. Scorpius had even recognised it himself once or twice, but had brushed it off. Because surely that couldn't have been what it meant. Surely she would never really be interested in him. She had told him enough times that she wasn't. That time in the library she had made herself perfectly clear. But then, he thought, things had been a bit weird after that. He had backed off but she didn't seem to like it. She was 'flirting' (that's what Albus had said, Scorpius would have called it teasing) with him more and more, trying to get a reaction. She actually seemed sad that he was paying her less attention. Scorpius of course had assumed this was wishful thinking on his part and ignored it. But now, here they were.


	8. Albus

Albus’s mother was in Albus's room, helping him rearrange the furniture so that they could fit another bed in there.

"Hmmm, maybe if we turn that desk around..." she said, flicking her wand at it and making it jump up and rotate ninety degrees. That cleared a little space at the end of the room, but not enough.

"OK... Maybe we just take it out altogether?" She suggested to Albus. He didn't think much of that idea.

"No, we might want to use it"

"A desk?" she said incredulously.

Albus frowned. His own mother thought he was a nerd.

"Yes" he said stiffly. "Sometimes we look at things in books." 

"OK, OK. The desk stays." She said placidly. "You'll want another chair then." She conjured another folding chair next to it.

"Thanks mum."

Albus meant it. He was glad it was his mum helping him with this and not his dad. His dad would have said something like 'why don't you just play outside instead.'

"Alright, I'm thinking outside the box here, what if we move your bed over there and the desk up here?" She said, pointing at opposite ends of the room, looking pleased with herself.

That would leave the space for Scorpius's bed at the foot of Albus's bed, which would mean they wouldn't be facing each other. 

"Umm, I was hoping the beds could be side by side" Albus said awkwardly. His mother looked inquisitive so he elaborated. "Scorpius has nightmares, I like being able to see him just in case." It sounded weird when he said it aloud. "I know that sounds stupid" he muttered.

His mother pressed her lips together looking concerned, but when she spoke it was in her usual casual tone.

"That's OK, I'm sure we can work it out. What if we move that bookcase..."

James was walking past Albus's room at that moment, and apparently couldn't resist the urge to stop and chime in.

"I'd be careful trying to move his books mum, nerds are very particular about their books."

"That's not helpful James" she replied in a very bored voice.

"I'm not trying to be helpful" he said cheekily, but their mother didn't rise to it and continued to mutter under her breath.

"Oh but then we'd have to move the lamp as well..."

"So what do you and Malfoy have planned?" James asked Albus, his tone antagonistic "studying potions? Talking to snakes? Whatever Slytherins do these days..."

Albus didn't respond to him, but said loudly "Mum, please tell James to go away."

"Go away James" she said distractedly, not even looking at the boys but still pondering the furniture conundrum.

James smirked and sloped off to his room. His place was almost immediately taken by Lily.

"Hey, what's everyone doing in here?" she asked.

"Making space for Scorpius to come and stay" their mother replied "or trying to anyway. You know I think you could do with a bigger room Al."

"Oh, is Rose coming too?" Lily asked excitedly.

Both Albus and his mum now gave Lily their full attention, both of them confused.

"Er, why would Rose be coming" Albus asked, a little disdainfully.

Lily didn't seem to care for his tone.

"Duh, because she's Scorpius's girlfriend" Lily said, condescendingly.

His mother whipped her head around to look questioningly at Albus. He looked at her blankly and then back at Lily.

"What are you on about?" He said, confused.

"Rose is going out with Scorpius" She said very slowly, as if explaining it to someone very stupid.

"No she isn't" Albus argued. "Scorpius has asked her out a million times and she always says no." He was feeling agitated now. Why was everyone trying to wind him up today?

"Well I guess she changed her mind then" Lily said triumphantly. "They got together a couple of weeks ago. How come you don't know that? I thought you two told each other everything" She smiled smugly.

Albus could feel his face burning. He shot a filthy look at Lily, but she didn't look as though she was lying.

"How do YOU know all this?" He demanded.

She shrugged. "James told me."

"JAMES" Albus yelled, pushing Lily out of the way as he stormed out onto the hallway, ignoring her squeal of protest and his mother's telling off. 

James stuck his head out of his room and looked surprised at seeing most of his family gathered there. Before he could say anything, Albus said forcefully:

"What's all this about Rose and Scorpius, what is she talking about" he gestured to Lily behind him. James looked confused. 

"What, you mean them dating? What, didn't you know?" He wasn't being funny, he seemed genuinely surprised. If this was a prank it was a very well executed one.

"How. Do you know. They're dating?" Albus said emphasising every word, determined to get to the bottom of this.

James frowned at Albus, clearly not understanding why he was upset about this. Clearly not thinking it was a big deal.

"Uhh, Victoire told me, a few days ago" he said in a tone that clearly implied Albus was overreacting. This did nothing to help him calm down.

"And how did she know?!"

"I dunno, I guess Roxanne probably told her?"

"Oh this is GREAT" Albus yelled in frustration, turning to look at Lily and Ginny. They looked just as bewildered as James.

"So EVERYONE knows except me? That's just great. FANTASTIC!"

"What's going on up there?" his father called from downstairs.

"Al's losing his mind" Lily called back down.

"OK, as long as no one's hurt" his dad called back calmly.

Albus was enraged. What the hell was wrong with this family? He marched past Ginny and Lily back into his room and slammed the door behind him. He heard James's muffled voice through the wall saying "What in the name of Slytherin was that about?"

 

-

 

 

Albus had thrown himself face down on his bed in his room, but the anger just kept building up inside him, so he got up again and started pacing around his room, trying to dispel some energy. How could they both lie to him like that? All those times when Scorpius had sworn that he wasn't being serious when he asked her out. All those times Rose had been adamant she didn't like him that way. Albus balled up his fists. So was that it now? They had each other, so why should either of them bother with Albus anymore. Neither of them had even cared about him enough to tell him. He'd had to find out through a chain of about twenty other people. Some friends they were. Did he really mean that little to them?

He felt his eyes starting to sting and realised he was getting upset. No! He thought furiously. I will not let this get to me. I won't let those two liars hurt me like that. And focusing once again on how much they had both deceived him, the anger returned, and he was livid.

He didn't know how long he paced up and down, thinking about all the things he was going to say to Scorpius when he got there. He was still pacing, looking at the floor and muttering to himself when Scorpius opened his bedroom door.

"Hey Albus..." Scorpius's greeting had started out bright and cheery, but his voice faltered as he saw Albus, still pacing.

Albus stopped and looked up at Scorpius, who was looking wary, frozen in the action of extending his arms out for a hug. His hair was shorter. He usually wore it fairly long - he could get away with that since it was so sleek. It always just brushed the top of his eyes so elegantly, even first thing in the morning. But now it was shorter. Neater. Unfamiliar.

Albus also noted a pair of rectangular framed reading glasses perched on top of his head. He thought back to all those times Scorpius has been squinting at the books when they were revising. He had just thought he was concentrating. He had never said he was having trouble seeing. How many other things was he keeping from Albus?

Albus had thought of a million things he wanted to say to Scorpius, but now he was here Albus was drawing a blank. After a long pause, in which Scorpius slowly lowered his arms and continued to look wary, he finally broke the slience.

"You got glasses." He could hear that his voice was cold, slightly scornful.

"Erm, yes, I did." Scorpius's voice was back to cheery.  There was still trepidation in his eyes, but he smiled brightly at Albus, taking the glasses off his head and holding them out for Albus to inspect.

"I suppose all those years of reading in the dark caught up with me. You’re always saying I read too much. Guess you were right." He gave a nervous laugh. This was a classic Scorpius move. Being overly nice to someone to try and stop them being horrible to him. It never worked.

"Didn't bother to tell me." Albus said, with obvious anger now coming through in his voice. "I mean, you've sent me a thousand owls over the summer, but didn't seem to think it was worth mentioning it to me. I mean, hey, why bother right? It's not like I'm your best friend or anything."

His voice was harsh. He knew he was getting irrationally angry about the glasses. He also knew that this wasn't about the glasses at all. But he was too worked up to care.

Scorpius was both upset and confused now. He bit his lower lip, looking scared and hurt. The look in his eyes was as if he were pleading with Albus to stop. Normally that look broke Albus's heart, but he was so angry he felt a sort of vindictive pleasure at seeing it now. 

"I... I didn't think it was important" Scorpius said quietly "I wasn't intentionally not telling you, I guess I just forgot to. I'm sorry Albus. Really really sorry."

Albus didn't want him to apologise. That was making him feel guilty. He wanted Scorpius to fight back. To tell him that it wasn't a big deal or to tell him he was being ridiculous. 

"Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You've been 'forgetting' to tell me an awful lot of things lately" Albus said pointedly.

He could see the dawning comprehension on Scorpius's face, but he didn't look relived now that he understood what Albus was talking about. If anything he looked even more troubled.

"This is about Rose?" He asked quietly.

"You're damn right this is about Rose" he burst out, unable to control the volume of his voice. "You know how I found out Scorpius? From Lily. Know how she found out? From James" his voice was getting louder with every new name he said. His tone more wild.

"Know how he found out? From Victoire. Know how she found out? From-"

"OK, I get it" Scorpius cut across him loudly. "It was bad that we didn't tell you ourselves straight away, I know you must be angry with us."

The word 'us' cut through Albus like a knife.

"I'm not angry with the pair of you as a couple" he said disgustedly "I'm angry with YOU Scorpius" he took a menacing step towards Scorpius, who seemed to diminish slightly.

That wasn't even true, of course he was angry with Rose too, but he just wanted to hurt Scorpius.

"How long has this been going on?" He demanded. "How long have you been LYING to me?"

"I never lied" Scorpius pleaded. "I didn't tell you and I'm sorry about that but I didn't lie, I swear."

"YOU'RE LYING RIGHT NOW" he yelled. "All those times you said you didn't fancy her anymore - LIES. All those times you said the two of you were just friends... I bet you've been having it off for ages haven't you? Behind my back. I bet you were going at it that day in the library when you came back in and told me she'd told you to get lost. Yeah, right, what a load of shit!"

He was hysterical now, he knew what he was saying was awful, but he couldn't stop.

"Albus!" Squeaked Scorpius, looking scandalised. But he wasn't done, not by a long shot.

"So I suppose you don't need me anymore now then? Not now you've got her. I bet you never even cared about me in the first place. You were just using me to get closer to her. All so you could worm your way into her pants!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH" Scorpius yelled, his face turning red. He looked furious. Albus stopped dead in his tracks. He had never heard Scorpius yell like that. Scorpius was stood up tall again (Albus noted Scorpius was a couple of inches taller than him). His hands were balled into fists. Albus wondered if he was going to hit him. He knew he had crossed a line.

"How dare you!" He snapped. "How could you possibly think that's what this is about? I'm not trying to 'get into her pants'" he looked at Albus with disgust. "I like her OK? And I never said I didn't. I said I didn't mean it anymore when I asked her out and that wasn't a lie. I'd given up. I had no idea this was going to happen. And we haven't been doing ANYTHING behind your back. It's been one week Albus, that's all!"

Albus didn't want to listen to reason.

"That's still one week you LIED to me for!" He retorted. "Still one week in which you decided that I didn't deserve to know. That I wasn't important enough to know. One week in which you were with HER doing God knows what - no of course I wouldn't know, because NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING. You were too busy thinking with your dick to spare me a second thought."

Scorpius pushed Albus roughly. He stumbled backwards, completely aghast. Scorpius was the last person in the world who would resort to physical confrontation. And his expression that shook Albus to his core. He never in a million years would have expected to see Scorpius looking at him with such anger and hatred on his face.

"You petulant, immature little brat!" Scorpius spat fiercely. "This - THIS right here is exactly why it was so hard to tell you. You're being a complete tosser about it. You KNOW how I feel about her and you KNOW my intentions are entirely honourable, yet here you are spouting all this hideous bile. And why? Because you're jealous? Grow up Albus!"

Albus opened his mouth to reply, not even knowing what he wanted to say. Whether he wanted to apologise or shout some more. But before he could say anything at all Scorpius shoved him again. He seemed to have snapped.

"You KNOW how much you mean to me so you must know how hurtful it is for you to be like this. You really think I'm walking out on you? That being with Rose means I don't care about you anymore? For God's sake Al, I jumped off a train for you. I ran away from school for you. I LITERALLY TURNED BACK TIME FOR YOU. What more do you want from me? I never gave up on you, not once. Not even when you gave up on me!" 

Ouch, that hurt. A ringing silence followed, in which Albus no longer felt angry at all. Just hurt. And ashamed. The two of them had never spoken about that awful time when they'd been forced apart by Albus's dad. Albus knew he'd been cowardly to go along with it. And he knew he didn't deserve Scorpius's forgiveness for that. But Scorpius forgave everyone for everything, that was just how he was. Quintessentially kind. As if his soul was too pure to hold onto any bitterness or resentment. That made it ten times worse that he was bringing it up now. Albus must have really hurt him.

There were tears running down Scorpius's face now. Albus felt his eyes starting to water too.

"How could you not know?" Scorpius's voice broke. "After all this time, how could you not know how important you are to me?"

He turned around and left, slamming the door behind him.

Albus wanted to go after him but he didn't know what to say. How to reverse all the awful things he had just said. How to tell Scorpius that the reason he was so upset was BECAUSE  Scorpius was so important to him. That's why it hurt so much. That's why he was so scared of losing him. But none of that mattered anymore, because Albus HAD just lost him.

He sank to his knees and began to sob.


	9. Rose

"You sure you won't come with me?" Rose said gently to Scorpius.

They were sat on the edge of Rose's bed in her room (the door wide open, as per Rose's dad's terms of agreement for Scorpius being allowed up there). She was holding one of his hands in between her own, looking at him worriedly. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking down at the floor. He looked as though his heart was breaking, but he wasn't tearful. Instead there was something sort of hollow about the way he was just staring into space. The way he always looked when Albus's name came up. It was so unusual to see Scorpius allowing anything to really upset him. Rose didn't know what to do.

He sighed deeply.

"He doesn't want to see me Rose."

"You don't know that. It's been nearly three weeks. He must have calmed down by now."

"You've met him right? Albus doesn't calm down that quickly. Besides. You didn't hear the things he said to me. The things I said to him. Maybe I don't want to see him either" Scorpius muttered darkly.

"Rubbish" said Rose, dropping his hand. That wasn't Scorpius talking. In fact, it sounded just like Albus.  As much as she hated seeing him upset, she wouldn't stand for Scorpius trying to put on a front for her. She was his girlfriend. She was supposed to allowed under his guard.

He looked up at her and his expression softened.

"Yes, you're right. It is rubbish. I want to see him" he said softly. "But he still doesn't want to see me."

A long silence passed. Rose tried to think of a counter argument. She suspected that Scorpius was right, Albus didn't want to see him. Only he obviously did, really, he was just too stubborn to admit it. If she could just make the two of them talk to each other she knew they could sort all of this out. They were going back to school in a couple of days and she couldn't bear the thought of them keeping this horrible fight up back at Hogwarts. But if Scorpius really wouldn't go then maybe she'd have to get the ball rolling herself.

"We don't know that he'll listen to you either" Scorpius said, as if reading her mind.

"Well I don't plan on giving him a choice in the matter" Rose said fiercely. Just then, Rose's mum called up the stairs, saying it was time to go.

"Can't we just stay here?" Scorpius asked hopefully, even raising one eyebrow, in what he evidently though to be a seductive way. Rose laughed.

"Are you kidding me, my dad would rather die than leave us here alone together." And that was true, so they both got up off the bed and made their way downstairs. 

 

-

 

Rose stepped out into the Potters' backyard, shielding her eyes against the bright sun with one hand. Lily and Hugo were inside pestering the adults and James was out with some friends, so Albus was the only one out here. Or so she had thought. She was rather taken aback to see Albus sitting on the grass playing exploding snap with someone else. As she walked over to them, she recognised the other boy to be one of the substitute players for the Gryffindor quidditch team. Some guy in the year above them. They were both angled slightly away from the house, looking out at the orchard beyond, so they didn't see her coming.

"Oi Potter!" She called as she approached "I want a word with you."

Albus and the other boy had been laughing at something, but the grin slid from Albus's face as they both turned and saw Rose striding towards them.

Rose's feelings of misgiving were increasing by the second. Albus was wearing rather large sunglasses that didn't really suit him. His hair was even messier than usual, as though he had intentionally ruffled it up. He was wearing a t-shirt with some muggle band on it. The boys had one of the Potters' small, wireless radios out there which was playing some upbeat and modern music that Rose had never heard before. Seeing her looking at it, the boy sat opposite Albus said, casually:

"I've bewitched it to pick up a muggle radio station - pretty good right? I'm Mark, by the way." He did a sort of salute at her with the first two fingers of his right hand. 

Rose surveyed him suspiciously. He was lying on one side, propped up on his elbow. He was quite muscular and although he was lying down Rose could tell that he was quite tall. He was also wearing sunglasses, although his suited him much better, and he too was wearing a t-shirt with a muggle band on it. He had dark hair like Albus, but it was shorter and he had styled it. It was spiked up, but in a messy sort of way that made it look effortless. She could not think of anyone she would less expect to find in Albus's company. This guy was cool. In a way that her Gryffindor friends would have agreed with. And he was very good looking. Rose was sure that he was quite popular. He tossed a card onto the pile between him and Albus, apparently completely at ease. As though they did this every day.

Trying to make some sense of the situation, Rose asked, rather abruptly:

"Are you one of James's friends?"

Mark frowned slightly and sat up. 

"Erm, yeah I guess. But I'm also Al's friend."

Al? Only family was allowed to call him that! Not even Scorpius called him Al. She turned to Albus, one eyebrow raised, demanding an explanation. 

"You're being rude you know" Albus said bluntly.

He looked very annoyed, but Rose didn't see why he should be. Not when she had just walked in on... whatever this was. But then she remembered why she was there in the first place and remembered that he wasn't very happy with her for reasons entirely unrelated to his secret friendships with Gryffindor quidditch players.  

Disregarding this, Rose stood her ground.

"I want to talk to you"

"Well I don't want to talk to you" he said forcefully, turning away and slamming a card down on the pile. "Go away please."

"I'm not going anywhere" She said firmly. 

"Did you not hear me? I'm not talking to you. Piss off."

It also wasn't like him to be so confrontational. She felt like she'd stepped into some alternate reality. Albus would sulk and he'd make sarcastic, cutting remarks and he'd avoid you if he didn't want to talk to you, but he didn't start arguments like this. First Scorpius and now her. He seemed to be developing quite a nasty streak. She wouldn't have it. She took a couple of steps forward and smacked him on the back of the head. His sunglasses fell off. He yelled and jumped to his feet, but seemed to lose his nerve when he came face to face with Rose who was now stood tall, hands on her hips, glowering at him. He took a step backwards, although he still looked furious.

At this point, Mark interjected.

"Erm, Al, who is this?"

"Sorry Mark, this is my cousin Rose" Albus replied, saying her name with such venom that she had half a mind to smack him again.

"Oh, I see..." Mark's voice was full of meaning and a smirk was forming on his face, from which Rose gathered that Albus had been talking to him about her. And given the current state of affairs she was sure that Albus hadn't been saying anything good. She had entirely lost her patience at this point.

"Oh good" She snapped at Mark "you know all about it, that will save us some time. Now, as for you" She turned to Albus and he took a further step back under her malevolent stare.

"You little shit. Do you even know how much of a state Scorpius is in right now? And he has done nothing - nothing to you. He is miserable and you're here laughing it up with this guy" She gestured towards Mark carelessly. 

"It's Mark" Mark reminded her, sounding amused. This infuriated Rose even more.

Albus opened his mouth to retort but Rose cut in before he could speak.

" _I_ kissed HIM, alright? I started it. He wasn't plotting this behind your back, it was all me. And you can hate me if you want, right now I couldn't give a toss, but you're being completely unfair to Scorpius. All he's ever wanted is to be your friend. And he's the best damn friend you've ever had Al. So stop being such an immature little bastard and GO APOLOGISE TO HIM!" 

Rose had worked herself up so much that she was shouting by the end. When she had finished venting at Albus she just stood there, breathing heavily, waiting to see what he would do, ready to attack again, if necessary.

Albus's expression had slowly changed throughout this rant from angry to hurt. Rose knew she had struck a chord when she said Scorpius was the best friend Albus ever had, because he actually winced at the words. She was glad, he deserved to be hurting because of how much Scorpius was hurting. 

To her surprise, it was Mark who broke the silence.

"I agree."

Rose looked at him incredulously.

"No no, I'm serious" he said earnestly, holding up his hands as though Rose was placing him under arrest. Although he was still smiling in a rather obnoxious way. "I've been telling Al that since it happened. He's stubborn. But he knows he's in the wrong. And he misses Scorpius."

They had slipped into the alternate reality again. Who was this guy? He was looking fondly at Albus, as though they had been friends for ages. It sounded as though he and Albus had been friends at least since before Albus and Scorpius had fallen out. Rose felt like she was really missing something. If they were such good friends how come she knew nothing about this guy?

She looked to Albus.

"Al. What...?" She didn't even know how to articulate the many questions she had.

Albus's eyes were darting back and forth between her and Mark. He looked very much like he was backed into a corner. But there was still a grain of defiance in him. 

"It wasn't all one sided you know. He said things to me too. Horrible things." He sounded more upset than angry though. Rose felt that they were making progress

"Oh yeah?" She said, but her tone now less harsh than the one she had been using thus far. "Was that before or after you said horrible things to him?"

Albus had the good grace to look ashamed of himself at that. He turned away, facing the orchard. He ruffled the hair at the back of his head with his right hand while he paced around a little.

She looked at Mark, who smiled approvingly and nodded at her. She felt a little pleased with herself, although she wasn't sure she wanted Mark on her side in all this, given that she still had no idea who he was and what he was doing there. And she still wasn't sure that he wasn't making fun of her. She felt much calmer though, now she had finally gotten through to Albus. And it was nice to have someone backing her up. Albus could be very difficult sometimes.

"So what's it going to be Al?" Rose asked flatly.

He stopped pacing, but didn't turn to face her. He was still staring out into the orchard.

"OK" he muttered.

"Sorry what?" Said Mark jovially, grinning. He seemed to be quite enjoying himself. "Didn't quite catch that."

"I said OK, alright?" Albus said loudly and irritably.

He finally turned round and looked apologetically at Mark.

"Go" Mark said simply. "Rain check?"

"Rain check" Albus repeated, giving him a warm smile.

He turned to Rose.

"You stay here though. I want to talk to him alone."

Rose thought about arguing, but decided not to. It was probably best that Albus and Scorpius do this just the two of them. It was probably going to be awkward as hell and she was sure there would be some tears. So she nodded and stepped aside as Albus walked past her and back into the house.

"Well, I guess I'll be going then" said Mark, gathering up the cards and pointing his wand at the wireless to turn off the music. It suddenly seemed far too quiet. Rose felt awkward. But she couldn't stop the question from bursting out of her as he stood up to leave.

"Exactly how long have you and Albus been friends?"

Mark looked surprised and again a little amused at the question. He pursed his lips, thinking about it for a moment.

"A while" he replied enigmatically, and strode casually back into the house, leaving Rose more confused than ever.


	10. Scorpius

Scorpius was sat on his bed reading. He didn't even look up from his book when he heard his bedroom door open. He presumed it was his father, come to see if he wanted to talk. And he didn't. So he continued to hide behind his book, no longer reading it, now just staring at the page and listening to the other person the room, waiting to see what they were going to do.

To his great surprise, it was Albus who spoke.

"Um... Scorpius?"

He lowered the book a few inches so he could glare at Albus over the top of it. What on earth was he doing here? Had he come to throw more insults, or accusations Scorpius's way?

Albus held his hands up, openly surrendering. 

"I just want to talk OK? Well, to apologise really..." he said. Scorpius said nothing and continued to glare. 

He missed Albus, of course he did. But those horrible things Albus had said had really hurt him. Not to mention the three weeks of silent treatment. It was the longest they'd been apart since...

Scorpius had been hoping that Rose might talk some sense into him. That Albus would come round, and they could be friends again. But now Albus was here Scorpius just felt angry and hurt. He had known he was hurting, but he had no idea he was this angry. He found that he wasn't sure he was ready to accept Albus's apology.

Albus looked wary, but Scorpius's ice cold reception didn't seem to deter him. He ruffled his hair at the back, the way he did when he was nervous. 

"I know I've been... well I've been a complete bastard, Scorpius, let's tell it like it is..."

Scorpius didn't disagree. He raised one eyebrow slightly, as if to say 'is that it?'

"I... um... I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that stuff. You were right. I was jealous. And I took it out on you. And I'm sorry..."

Still not good enough, Scorpius thought, although he deigned to put his book down at this point. Albus had started to shuffle back and forth nervously, clearly struggling to think of something to say. This was so typical of Albus. He liked to think he was so different to the rest of his family, but he was a classic Gryffindor all the way. Diving in head first and then figuring out what he was doing later. He hadn't even planned out what he was going to say. Scorpius both loved and hated that about him.

"You were right Scorp. About all of it. I was jealous. I was immature. And I've been a shit friend. I abandoned you, back in fourth year. I never wanted to, but I still did it. You're right to still be mad about that. It was awful. I'd probably never forgive me for that either. I just... I don't know what to do to make it up to you... please tell me what do Scorpius."

He was pleading now. He had shuffled all the way to the foot of Scorpius's bed while he was talking, and stood there, twisting his fingers together in front of him, just looking at Scorpius, with so much sadness and regret in his eyes. Scorpius felt himself starting to soften. The anger starting to fade. A bit of guilt even crept in.

That had been a cheap shot, bringing up that whole thing about fourth year. The truth was he had forgiven Albus for that a long time ago. Albus had been forced into it after all. He had only said what he did because he wanted to hurt Albus, after all the things he had said. And he knew that that would REALLY hurt Albus. Well, he was right.

"Forget about that Albus" he said quietly. "I only said that because I was angry. Because YOU were being an arse." He looked sternly again at Albus. He wanted to be clear that even though he wanted to discount the fourth year thing, he wasn't letting Albus off the hook entirely.

"I was. I was being an arse. I'm sorry..." 

There was awkward silence again. Scorpius was thoroughly exasperated now. For God's sake Albus, he thought, don't you ever think anything through? Did you even stop to think about why I'm angry with you before you ran over here to apologise? He realised he was going to have to help him get there. 

"So, me and Rose?" Scorpius asked, coldly.

"Is none of my business" Albus replied quickly. "And I'll never say another word about it."

"Well I suppose indifference is better than outright hatred" Scorpius said, a little condescendingly. "But I wouldn't have thought it would be too much to ask that you be happy for me."

"I AM happy for you" said Albus with enthusiasm, almost sounding like he meant it.

"So you just don't want me to be with her, is that it? Too close to home for you, or something like that?"

Albus blushed, he looked at the floor.

"It's not even really about Rose... I just... I don't want to lose you... Maybe that's selfish. But I don't know what I'd do without you..."

Albus sounded like he was about to cry. However these were the wrong words entirely to glean forgiveness from Scorpius. Had Albus not even been listening during their fight?

"There it is again, this talk about losing me!" Scorpius burst out, flaring up again. "Where is it you think I'm going Albus? Why do you think I'm such a terrible friend that I can't maintain a girlfriend AND a friendship with you? Why do you think I care about you so little that I'd cast you aside so easily?"

"I don't think that! I don't think you'd mean to do it anyway! It's just, you know, you'll start spending more time with her and less time with me and she'll become more important to you and that's fine, that's great, but then that means I'm not the most important person anymore..." Albus's voice faltered as he reached the end and realised what he was saying. It had come out sounding a little selfish, but now Scorpius finally understood what he was getting at. What this fight was really about. What Albus was really upset about. 

"Albus..." he said, shaking his head. "Do you not understand? The reason I got so upset when we were fighting is because - well, you are THE most important person in my life. And you were talking like I was just going to forget all about you. As if I ever could. And I thought - I must be doing a terrible job as a friend, if that's what he thinks." Scorpius shook his head again. "That's what REALLY hurt Albus. That you seemed to really believe you meant nothing to me. That that's what our friendship was. So I started to think, maybe I don't matter to you either..."

Albus actually laughed at this, shaking his own head.

"Are you kidding me Scorp? You do realise that the reason I was so freaked out is BECAUSE you're so important to me, the idea of having someone else take you away was unbearable. OF COURSE you matter to me. You matter to me so damn much that I lost it completely at the idea of not having you as a friend anymore. You're a GREAT friend Scorpius, the best. You make my life better just by being in it."

That did it. Scorpius beamed at him and got up off the bed to hug him. They hugged for a long time. Scorpius felt the relief wash over him. He was no longer angry. He didn't even feel hurt anymore. And it felt like such a huge weight had been lifted to finally have his best friend back.


	11. Scorpius

Scorpius’s sixth year at school was playing out much the same as always, but now there were two major improvements.

The first one was that he was meeting with Professor Binns every Saturday morning to work on his paper. Professor Binns kept showing him papers that other people had written on similar topics and Scorpius felt like he was seeing these historic events through a whole new perspective with each one he read. It was fascinating. These people were so clever! Scorpius often felt like an imposter. He couldn't believe that any of these prestigious academics could possibly see him as an equal. Yet here he was, preparing to publish in the same journal as them. He felt his heart soar every time he thought about it. Just spending this extra time with Professor Binns was interesting enough. He kept telling Scorpius bits and pieces about other research projects he was working on, and even asking for Scorpius's thoughts or opinions from time to time. And Scorpius got to see what he actually did, besides teaching. He would tell Scorpius about reconnaissance trips, conferences, exploring memories using a pensieve, translating ancient texts. It all sounded wonderful. Scorpius felt like he getting an invaluable insight into the day to day life of a professional historian as well. All this knowledge would surely come in useful when it came to applying for jobs. He imagined himself doing all these things one day, for a living. That would be incredible. 

The second was his relationship with Rose. Hanging out with Rose wasn’t vastly different to hanging out with Albus. They would chat about their lives and about school and about future plans. They sometimes played games. They lent each other books and talked about them afterwards. But when they were alone there was a lot of kissing. This was very new to Scorpius, but some of the awkwardness had started to fade now that they had been together for a while and he felt like he was getting the hang of it. But there was definitely still some awkwardness to it.

That was something he hadn’t expected about his new relationship. Scorpius felt like nothing ever went quite how he thought it was going to. The reality was always so much more awkward and uncomfortable than the fantasy. In his head, Scorpius swept Rose off her feet, confident in his smooth actions. In reality, he never quite knew what he was supposed to be doing. Whether it was what he should be doing with his tongue when he was kissing. Where he should put his hands when they hugged. His hand got a little sweaty sometimes when they were holding hands – should he pull away and wipe his hands off? Or would that be weird? Even when they bumped into each other in the corridor at school it was weird. Should he hug her? Kiss her? Even if she’s mid-conversation with friends? Do they stop and chat? Or just greet each other and keep walking?

He wished there was someone he could talk to about it all. It didn’t feel right to say these things to Rose. He didn’t want her to interpret his insecurities as signs of disinterest in her. Or signs that he was too immature for a relationship. Maybe I am, he thought. Other people don’t seem to have these problems.

More than anything, he wished he could talk to Albus about it all. But Rose was a very sensitive subject between the two of them. He had only really had one friend his entire life, but now all of a sudden there was a second important person in his life and that came with its challenges. He did his best to divide his free time fairly equally between Rose and Albus. He of course saw more of Albus, since they shared a room. But he was increasingly spending evenings and weekends with Rose and he felt like his and Albus’s friendship was suffering for it. This was especially pronounced due to the fact that there was still some residual weirdness between with Albus, following their argument. Albus was being very moody. Well, he was always moody, but now he was behaving even more so than usual. He was also somewhat withdrawn and weirdly evasive about what he was doing when Scorpius wasn’t around. Scorpius didn’t really know what he could do about that. He was afraid to breach the subject with Albus. After all the awful things they had said to each other during that argument, he didn’t think he could take another one. And even if Albus did admit that he was upset (which he definitely wouldn’t) Scorpius didn’t really think there was anything he could do about that. He HAD to spend time with his girlfriend, didn’t he?

 

-

 

Al’s being weird” Rose declared by way of greeting as she sat down next to Scorpius in the great hall.

“He is?” Scorpius looked up from the book he was reading, confused.

“You don’t think?” she asked, sounding surprised.  “Look at him.” Rose nodded towards Albus, who was over by the Gryffindor table talking to that Mark guy. He was looking uncharacteristically smooth, chatting easily to Mark and a couple of other guys he was sat with. They all laughed loudly about something Albus had said and he looked incredibly pleased with himself.

“What about him?” Scorpius asked, innocently.

“That doesn’t look weird to you?” Rose asked incredulously.

Scorpius shrugged, not wanting to admit it, but he DID think it was a bit weird. Albus had mentioned that he had met this Mark guy at his house over the summer, but had made it sound like he was no more than a passing acquaintance. The two of them looked like the best of friends right now, they way they were laughing together. Scorpius tried not to feel hurt by that, knowing that it was selfish.

“Well it looks weird to ME” Rose went on, apparently unwilling to let the subject drop. “How long has he been hanging out with that quidditch player guy?” she asked.

“I don’t know” Scorpius replied, frowning slightly. “Since the summer I suppose. They met while… you know, when we weren’t speaking…”

“Oh, right” Rose looked a little guilty about bringing it up. Scorpius didn’t particularly want to think about it either, so he changed the subject.

“Anyway, if he’s hanging out with Mark then that means I get more time to spend with you” Scorpius flashed her a wide smile and she smiled affectionately back at him. “We can talk about exams until our hearts’ content, without worrying about leaving him out.”

Rose laughed.

“There are other reasons I like to get you alone than exams you know” she said in a mischievous tone. Scorpius felt himself start to blush.

“Yes, well…” his voice came out a little breathier than usual and he cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean that’s all we can talk about. We can talk about other stuff too. What are your plans for the holidays?”

“Funny you should mention that” Rose grinned, still with that mischievous look on her face. “I was wondering if I might be able to come over to your place at some point. I’d love to see that library you’re always talking about.”

Scorpius was pleasantly surprised by this. Albus had been over to Malfoy manor a couple of times and it had been really nice, getting to share a bit of his home life with his best friend. He imagined it would be just as nice showing his girlfriend around the place.

“Yes, of course” Scorpius smiled. “I’ll owl father later, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Great” Rose smiled. She leant a little closer to him and lowered her voice a little. “Maybe I could… you know, stay over?”

Scorpius swallowed nervously. There was definite flirtatiousness in her voice now, and he didn’t quite know what to make of it. Did she mean… spend the night WITH him? Surely not, they had only been together a couple of months. They hadn’t even discussed the matter. But then again, Scorpius didn’t exactly have much experience to draw on, but he was quite sure sitting down and formally discussing IT was not the done thing. But surely they should INformally discuss it, at least? There were logistics to work out. Supplies to obtain. Am I supposed to have condoms? Scorpius thought wildly. Where do I even get condoms from? I’d die of embarrassment trying to buy them in Hogsmeade!

“I don’t have to” Rose said hesitantly, and Scorpius realised that he had frozen on the spot.

“No, no, I WANT you to” he quickly backpedalled, scared of offending her with an outright rejection.

“OK” she smiled, looking relieved. “Maybe before Christmas? We’ll probably be doing lots of family stuff between Christmas and new year. You know, lots of relatives to visit.”

Scorpius didn’t know – his Christmases had only ever been with his immediate family, as they were somewhat estranged from the extended family. He had vaguely thought about maybe meeting up with Albus at some point over the holidays this year, but besides that his Christmas was set to be a quiet one. Well, apart from the overnight visit from Rose he had somehow just agreed to.

They continued to chat casually about the holidays and all the places Rose was being whisked off to (she had about a thousand cousins, by the sound of it), but Scorpius was only half paying attention, and nodding along. The other half of his brain was running in overdrive trying to work out exactly what Rose was expecting from this overnight stay at his place.

Maybe he was over-reacting. Maybe she didn’t mean that. But what if she did? It wasn’t so much that he didn’t WANT to have sex. He was a sixteen year old boy after all, he had plenty of thoughts (and dreams) about the subject. But he didn’t really know how to approach it in real life. He was pretty comfortable with the kissing by now, but he didn’t really know how you went from that to… It seemed like an awfully big jump. And he REALLY didn’t want to mess things up with Rose.


	12. Rose

Rose surveyed herself in her bedroom mirror, turning around to look at herself from all angles. She was home for the Christmas holidays, and was getting ready to go over and stay at Scorpius’s house for the first time. She felt nervous, but excited at the same time.

She stood scrutinising her reflection, wearing just underwear. She sucked in her stomach, wishing it looked flatter like that all time. She gave her thigh a prod, wishing it didn’t jiggle so much when she moved. All in all she wasn’t too displeased with what she saw. She had friends who would cry about not being thin or pretty enough. Rose considered herself to be too mature for that sort of nonsense. But even still she couldn’t help noticing all the little things that she’d like to change. She bunched up her wild curly hair into a ponytail and frowned at how wide her shoulders looked when she tied her hair up. She let it fall back down again, and turned to look at her back again.

“Not too bad” she whispered to herself, and gave her reflection an encouraging nod.

She didn’t exactly have a plan for how tonight was going to go. She and Scorpius hadn’t explicitly discussed having sex. And she was sure that he wasn’t expecting anything to happen tonight. In fact, her own parents were only letting her go because Mr Malfoy had assured them that she would be staying in the guest room. She did know that that was NOT going to happen, though. What was even the point of her staying over there if they weren’t going to share a bed? And anyway, this wasn’t her first rodeo. She had snook out of bed to go and meet a boy before now.

She had never had sex before, but she had thought about it a lot. Most of her friends already had – or at least, they SAID they had. One or two she was sure were just pretending (“oh it was a muggle boy, you wouldn’t know him” yeah, right!). And she had done other things. But she was waiting for the right guy to go all the way with. And she had thinking more and more lately that that guy was Scorpius. He was so sweet and unassuming. He was the very definition of gentleman. And he adored her.

Rose pulled her dress on over her head, and swept on some mascara, leaning close in the mirror.

“Tonight’s the night” she whispered to herself.

She was sure that she was ready. She was more mature than all those silly girls in her year at school. And she had a wonderful boyfriend who worshipped her. It felt like the right time.

Even so, she had butterflies in her stomach. It was a big step after all. Perfectly normal to be nervous. She took a deep breath, blinking a few times. Her eyelashes felt heavy and slightly sticky, under the weight of the still-wet mascara. She suddenly felt like she was trying too hard. She thought of her friends before the yule ball last year, all fighting each other to get in front of the bathroom mirror to apply a third coat of lipstick, while Rose rolled her eyes in a bored manner, leaning against the door. She shook her head and reached for a tissue to wipe off the make-up. Then she shook her head again, dropping the tissue she had just picked up.

“Nothing has to happen” she said to her reflection, firmly.

That was perfectly true of course, but Rose didn’t really believe it. The idea was out there now. And she knew that she was going to go for it, nerves be damned. She took another deep breath.

“Get it together” she whispered to herself, feeling more normal as the mascara dried. She fluttered her eyelashes in the mirror and enjoyed the effect. She looked older. More mature. And more sexy. Exactly how she wanted to look tonight.

 

-

 

Dinner at Scorpius’s house was excruciating. Rose felt like she didn’t let it show too much, but she felt incredibly awkward. How were you supposed to look a guy’s dad in the eye when you planning on jumping him later that night? She intercepted one or two bewildered looks from Scorpius, who saw through the cool and calm façade of course. He could read her like a book. But Draco didn’t seem to notice anything. They chatted about school, about plans for the holidays, about Draco’s work. After what seemed like hours, they were finally finished with dessert and Scorpius offered to show Rose the library. Keen to escape the dinner table small talk, she enthusiastically accepted and followed him upstairs.

“Why are you being weird?” he asked, as soon as they were out of earshot of his dad.

“I’m not being weird” she lied. “Why are YOU being weird?”

“I’m not being weird!” Scorpius looked nonplussed and Rose laughed.

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry” she said grinning.

Scorpius still looked confused, but apparently decided to let it drop.

“So this is the library” he said, opening the door to a fairly small but none the less impressive library. There were floor-to-ceiling bookcases, a couple of sofas and a large window overlooking the garden. Scorpius was smiling proudly. Rose knew that he spent a lot of time in here.

“It’s beautiful” she said, running her hands along the spines of the books as she walked around the room. “You have all the classics I take it?”

“Of course” Scorpius replied brightly. “I’ve started collecting the muggle classics too – over here” he gestured to a section of newer-looking books. Rose picked one up at random and looked at the back cover.

“Great Expectations – good choice” Scorpius said. “But I think this would be more your sort of thing” he handed her a copy of a book called Treasure Island. She raised an eyebrow.

“Because I’m such an adventurer?” she said, amused.

“If the hat fits” he replied playfully.

Rose placed the book back on the shelf and threw her arms around Scorpius’s neck. He was so tall she had to stand on tiptoe to kiss him.

He sighed contentedly as they broke apart. Rose no longer felt awkward, or nervous. This felt right.

“I want to stay in your bed tonight” she said quietly to him.

“Oh… wow… um” he bit his lip nervously. “My dad would kill me if he found out. YOUR parents would kill me too” he said.

“They won’t find out” she said confidently and kissed him again. He still looked nervous when they broke apart again.

“Do you not want to?” she asked, stepping back.

“No, no, I do” He said quickly. Rose looked sceptically at him.

“I do” he insisted.

Rose studied his expression, but she couldn’t read him.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want” she said carefully. His expression softened and he pulled her into a hug.

“I do” he whispered, kissing her cheek. “Come on, I’ll show you where my bedroom is.”

 

-

 

They still had a couple of hours to kill before Draco would be going to bed so they played some exploding snap in Scorpius’s room. Eventually, Draco came and knocked on the door.

“Scorpius?” he said tentatively, opening the door and looking relieved to see them sat on the floor playing cards. “Have you shown Rose the guest room?” he asked pointedly.

“Not yet” Scorpius replied. He and his father exchanged a meaningful look and he added “I’ll do it now.”

Draco nodded and waited until Scorpius and Rose left the room before bidding them goodnight and leaving. Scorpius and Rose went back downstairs to the living room where Rose had left her overnight bag

“We actually have like ten guest rooms” Scorpius told her as they walked. “I think Lexie made up the one next to my bathroom for you.”

“Oh I have so many questions” Rose replied with glee. “Is Lexie a maid or a house elf?”

Scorpius looked embarrassed.

“Elf” he replied bashfully. “But we pay her! We got her after the minister passed that law about wages for elves. Erm, your mum, I mean. Wow, is it totally weird that your mum is the minister for magic?”

“Sometimes” Rose admitted. “That law was passed under Shacklebolt though, mum wasn’t the minster at the time. She was working in the department for the regulation of magical creatures. She’d actually been campaigning about it for a long time. She said it’s one of her biggest achievements.”

“Well yes, I suppose. It was a pretty big deal” Scorpius said thoughtfully. “Anyway, Lexie is basically our maid, who just happens to be an elf. And we pay her more than minimum wage, make sure you tell your mum that!” he said. Rose laughed.

They retrieved her bag and made their way back upstairs.

“So you and your dad have separate bathrooms?” she enquired, still amused.

Scorpius frowned.

“We didn’t really plan it like that. I just always use the one that’s closest to my room and Dad uses the one down the hall.” Rose continued to grin. “You’re making fun of me” he said, looking sideways at her.

“I’m not” she insisted. “It’s just… different worlds you know? This place is like a palace.”

Scorpius said nothing to this, so she took his hand. “It’s nice” she added.

He smiled and opened the door of the guest room for her.

“So, um… I don’t know what you want to…” he said awkwardly, gesturing towards the bed. Rose walked over to it and messed up the covers slightly. She then left her bag there on the bed and walked back out, heading towards Scorpius’s room a few doors down, beckoning him to follow.

Once they were both in Scorpius’s room the tension was palpable. They stood silently on either side of his bed. Scorpius was looking expectantly at her, but Rose couldn’t think of a single thing to say. So without saying anything, she slowly pulled her dress off over her head. Scorpius’s jaw practically hit the floor he was so surprised. But he seemed to like it. She gave him a sultry smile and his cheeks flushed.

 

-

 

“That has NEVER happened to me before” Scorpius insisted.

Rose had consumed enough muggle media to know that this was an awkward-teenager-first-time cliché, and couldn’t suppress a smile. But she hastily tried to cover it up by putting a hand to her mouth and clearing her throat. She didn’t want Scorpius to think she was laughing AT him.

“It’s fine” she told him gently. “You’re probably just nervous. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you like that.”

Scorpius shook his head.

“No, you didn’t spring it on me. I sort of… guessed that maybe you wanted to… you know, when you asked about staying over.”

“I didn’t mean to put pressure on you” Rose said, leaning over his chest to look at his face. He was avoiding her eye, clearly mortified. “You could have said, if you’re not ready.”

“I AM ready” he insisted, but still not meeting her eye. “I just… I don’t know, I was afraid of messing it up and then…” he put his hands over his face. “My body stopped cooperating” his muffled voice sounded through his hands.

Rose had to suppress another urge to laugh. She pulled Scorpius’s hands away from his face and kissed him gently on the cheek. She wasn’t put off by this at all. She had never been in this situation before either, but from what she had heard it wasn’t THAT uncommon. Especially when it was someone’s first time. She was more worried about how much Scorpius was going to beat himself up about it.

“It’s OK” she whispered. “You don’t have to worry about messing it up with me. I’m not expecting anything.”

Scorpius nodded, but didn’t look convinced. Rose didn’t know what else to say, so she sat up and reached down the side of the bed for her pyjamas, which Scorpius continued to lie there looking miserably up at the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like there should have been more Scorpius/Rose filler before diving right into this, but i find it difficult to write these two because they're so not right for each other!
> 
> Also, I think it would be a little irresponsible to post this without making it clear that Scorpius and Rose's disastrous sexual encounter in this story is a prime example of how NOT to go about your first time. Open communication is the key, no matter how embarrassing it feels to talk about. Also - if you don't know if you're ready or not, then you're probably NOT ready. [End of lecture, sorry to be a little preachy].


	13. Scorpius

It was about a week after the Christmas holidays when it happened. Scorpius had stayed late in the library finishing his Arithmancy homework. Albus had left to go to bed about an hour earlier, saying he hadn't slept well last night. Scorpius hadn't meant to stay so late but he got so engrossed in his calculations that he didn't even realise the time until Madam Pince came to tell him the library was closing.

The castle was fairly deserted at this hour, so Scorpius only passed one or two people in the hallways as he was walking. Up ahead there was a concealed passageway that he and Albus often used when walking back to the common room. It was a peculiar passageway, because it wasn't really a shortcut. It actually took a few minutes longer than just taking the main corridors. No one could work out what the point of it was. As such, the people who knew it was there didn't really use it anyway. Except for Albus and Scorpius, who used it for that exact reason - it was quiet and peaceful and no one else was there. Sometimes they just sat on the short staircase that was halfway down it and hung out there. It was one of those secluded spots around the castle that the boys had found solace.

It wasn't really necessary to use it at this time when there were so few people about, but more out of habit than anything Scorpius turned into it. But the passageway was not, as he had expected, empty.

The scene that met his eyes was too much to take in at first. Albus was stood there, leaning against the wall. His trousers were round his ankles and someone with short dark hair was giving him a blow job. Albus had his eyes closed and was moaning softly, one hand behind his own head, the other hand on this mystery person's head. A few seconds passed before Albus opened his eyes a crack and saw Scorpius stood there, rooted to the spot, eyes wide with shock.

This shock was instantly mirrored on Albus's face as he brought the hand that was on his head down to push the kneeling person slightly away from him, muttering "Oh, fuck. Oh no. Shit"

Scorpius couldn't do anything except stand there and stare. He felt like he'd lost the ability to use his legs. There was some sort of white noise buzzing in his head. 

The kneeling person turned to see what Albus was looking at that had him so horror struck and Scorpius's heart nearly stopped when he saw that it was Mark. Mark! That quidditch player that Albus met over the summer! 

The three of them all just stared at each other. Albus looked like a deer in headlights. Mark didn't seem to know what to do and just froze, one hand still holding Albus's penis. It would have been funny if it wasn't all just so overwhelming. Scorpius didn't know how long they were just stood there, but eventually he regained his senses.

"So sorry, didn't know this hallway was occupied" he blurted out, and stepped backwards out of there. 

Once back in the main corridor he wheeled around and started slowly walking in the opposite direction. He didn't know what he was doing. He was still trying to process what he had just seen.

He could hear Albus and Mark having a panicked sounding argument in the passageway behind him, but his head was still spinning so he didn't really take in what they were saying. Odd fragments floated through to him. "Find out like this"..."My best friend"..."find out eventually"..."all over the school"..."won't tell anyone."

He heard the two of them emerge from the passage behind him and one person running towards him.

"SCOR- oh" Albus had been yelling his name, evidently thinking that Scorpius must have fled much further from the scene than he actually had. Scorpius wondered if maybe he should have as he slowly turned around to face Albus. He had no idea how to handle the conversation they were about to have. Thankfully Mark had gone and it was just the two of them. 

"Erm, hi Albus. Well, fancy seeing you here" Scorpius said brightly, his brain switching to the default happy-go-lucky facade like it always did when he was feeling bad. Only this time the words sounded strained, as though someone had him in a headlock. He wondered wildly for a moment if they were just going to pretend nothing had happened, but Albus looked very serious as he said:

"I'm sorry Scorp. That was really weird. I didn't want you to find out like this."

Scorpius wanted to say something along the lines of 'yes that was awkward but I'm sure we can move past it and it will all be fine', but his brain couldn't seem to articulate that at the moment and in any case his voice box didn't seem to be working, so he said nothing. He was dimly aware that his eyes were still open much wider than normal and wondered how much shock was still showing on his face.

Albus looked worried now. He shifted his weight as he stood there and reached up to ruffle the hair at the back of his head like he always did when he was stressed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Scorp. Not just about Mark, about all of it. It's just... it's a hard thing to tell someone, you know? And I've never told anyone. Not out loud. Not like this"

He was looking pleadingly into Scorpius's eyes now. Scorpius knew he needed to say something and tried to pull himself together, but just as he was opening his mouth to reply Albus started pacing up and down in front of him, not looking at him, twisting his fingers around each other as he spoke, his voice starting to crack. 

"I'm really really sorry Scorpius. I just couldn't bear the thought of you treating me any differently. And not that I think you wouldn't be cool with it, because I know you're cool with everything, but I didn't want it to come between us. I didn't want you thinking I was any different because I'm not. I'm still me. And I still need you because you're my best friend and nothing will ever ever change that."

Scorpius reached out a hand to stop Albus pacing, but Albus brushed it away from his shoulder and continued to talk, still not looking at Scorpius, sounding more and more desperate. 

"Just please don't leave me OK? I know I lied and I never wanted to lie to you and I don't want to keep secrets from you either, and I never will again. I'm glad it's out and I'm glad you know now, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is so weird and I'm sorry that you had to see all that and I'm sorry for all of it OK? I fucked up. But I just need you to say we're still friends because I don't know what I'll do otherwise."

Scorpius had never seen Albus like this. Albus was always so calm and collected. Moody and sulky, yes, but he never unravelled. That was what Scorpius did. He was the rambler. It was freaking Scorpius out even more to see Albus so unhinged like this. Albus stopped pacing and turned to face Scorpius again.

“Scorp, please say something" he pleaded.

Scorpius saw the tears running down his cheeks and it was that which snapped him back to his senses. His head suddenly cleared and he stopped thinking about any of what had just happened - he just saw his Albus in great pain and he sprang into action. Scorpius simply said "It's OK" as he instinctively pulled Albus into a bear hug. He held him as tight as he could while Albus fully broke down and sobbed into his shoulder. 

They stood there for a long time while Albus cried and Scorpius just continued to hold him tight, whispering "It's OK, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere" over and over.

Eventually Albus's sobs subsided and Scorpius released him. Albus's eyes were red and swollen and he was still sniffing. He still looked afraid and Scorpius felt fully ashamed of his stoic behaviour earlier.

"I'm so sorry Albus" he said, sincerely. His voice had mercifully returned to normal. "That was a really bad reaction from me. The worst. I know that. I never meant to hurt you like that. I was just really surprised that's all. I mean, when I walked in on... oh dear I'm getting flustered again. Well that whole thing anyway, it just took a while to process."

"Yeah that whole corridor scene was a bit much" Albus said thickly, wiping his nose on his sleeve and chuckling a little in spite of himself.

"Oh God, I had no idea what to do" Scorpius laughed. It was starting to seem a little funny already. "But it doesn't matter Albus" he said seriously. It was important that Albus understand this. Scorpius took his hands and looked him straight in the eyes as he said "I don't care if you're gay, straight, whatever. And I don't care who you're sleeping with. And you don't have to tell me about it if you don't want. You're my best friend Albus, and that's unconditional. You're completely stuck with me I'm afraid."

Albus hugged him again, and again both of them just stood there, holding each other for the longest time. Neither of them said anything but Scorpius was sure that this hug meant that they were OK.  

After a while Albus pulled away. He looked exhausted. 

"It's after hours, we'd better get back to the common room" he said.

So they started walking. Neither of them said a word about it but they both seemed to think it was best to take the main corridor route. Scorpius slipped an arm around Albus's shoulders as they walked.

"It's really is going to be OK you know" he said, because he knew his best friend and he knew that there was probably a whole mountain of things to worry about building up in Albus's mind right now.

"I know" Albus said. Scorpius wasn't fooled, but he had said all he could for tonight.


	14. Albus

Albus lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, his mind racing. His eyes were still stinging from where he had cried so much. But he felt better. It had gone alright, all things considered.

Scorpius had taken it well. He had been shocked, of course. Well, the manner in which he had found out had shocked all three of them (Albus cringed at the thought). But he said it didn't matter to him, and Albus knew he was telling the truth. He was still worried about how they were going to move forward from here, there was bound to be some awkwardness. But Scorpius wasn't going to desert him. And that meant everything to him.

Mark on the other hand had not taken it so well. Albus sighed. He would have to deal with that tomorrow. He wondered if he should ask Scorpius to talk to Mark, to assure him that he would keep their secret. But maybe that would just make things worse. Mark had been pretty freaked out.

He sighed again and turned onto his side, looking at Scorpius, who had fallen asleep with his glasses on, an open book face down on his chest. He smiled, but  the moment was brief, as a wave of guilt quickly washed over him about how much he had been lying to Scorpius over the past few weeks and how it had all come tumbling out tonight. Things had been so much easier over the summer. Coming back to Hogwarts had meant they had to sneak about and hide. The whole thing suddenly felt clandestine. Illicit.

He closed his eyes and thought about that summer. It had been an eventful summer for Albus, that was for sure. Mark had come to the Potters' house for the first time to see James, along with a group of about five other boys. He didn't actually know James very well, Albus had found out later, he'd tagged along with another friend. Albus had been sat in the kitchen reading a book that Scorpius had lent him. He wasn't enjoying it much but Scorpius loved it so he had to give it a try.

"I have love in me, the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and rage the likes of which you would not believe"

Albus looked up to see Mark leaning in the doorway, smiling at him. He looked around the kitchen, sure that this guy could not be talking to him, but it was empty except for the two of them.

"Excuse me?" He said incredulously. What a weird thing to walk up and say to someone, he thought. 

"Frankenstein" he said, with a nod to Albus. When Albus continued to look confused, he added "the book you're reading? Sorry, have you not got to that bit yet? It looked like you were close to the end."

"Oh, right " Albus said, it dawning on him that Mark was quoting something. "Well, yeah, I'm nearly finished. I haven't quite taken it all in though. It's not exactly light reading." He looked disdainfully at the book.

"Why are you reading it then?" Mark asked, sliding into a seat opposite Albus at the table. He looked mildly annoyed. At the time Albus had thought it was because he had just insulted a book that Mark liked. He found out later that Mark had never actually read it, but had gone to the trouble of doing some research on it specifically to have something to talk to Albus about.

"My friend really likes it and he wanted me to read it so that we can talk about it."

"Why don't you just do some research on what it's about and then pretend you've read it?" Mark said, and then laughed.  

Albus wasn't entirely sure if Mark was teasing him or not, but his carefree laugh was infectious. He smiled.

"Well now I know what to do next time."

"Ah. He's learning. I'm Mark" Mark did a strange sort of salute with two fingers as he introduced himself.

"Albus" he replied, reaching up to copy the salute, but then deciding at the last minute that he couldn't pull it off and turning it into an awkward wave.

"Good to meet you" Mark said, looking amused. Albus felt stupid, but Mark's smile didn't look malicious. He was surveying Albus with great interest, which was making him feel rather self concious. What did this guy want?

"So what sort of books do you like, Al? Or are you not much of a reader?"

"No, I read. I just prefer books that are written in English." Mark had laughed loudly at that.

They chatted away about books for a while, and then got onto a tangent about dragons. Then somehow they ended up talking about muggle technology. Albus was surprised at how easy the conversation was. He so rarely found it this easy to talk to anyone except Scorpius. And he was funny. Albus's sides were hurting from laughing do much.

"So I'm now on my fifth alarm clock, trying to charm it so that it still picks up the muggle radio station from school" Mark was laughing as he was telling the story. His face was lit up so much that Albus was laughing too, even though they hadn't got to the funny bit yet. "And I think I've got it, I can hear some sort of music, but it's all like crackly and fuzzy" he had to stop to laugh some more. Both of them were rather giddy at this point.

"Go on, what happened?"

"So I'm fine tuning it and as it gets clearer, there's no music, just singing and some like whooshing noise in the background" he dissolved into laughter again and Albus laughed with him. They were having the best time. This guy was fun, Albus thought.

"And I'm like 'that's definitely not a radio station'" he spluttered, trying to keep it together but shaking with the laughter he was repressing.

"What was it?!" Albus said excitedly.

"It was Hagrid in the shower!" Mark burst out, and they roared with laughter.

At this point, James and his cronies had come into the kitchen, some of them wearing sunglasses, clearly about to head out.

"There you are" one of them said in an exasperated tone.

"Sorry lads, just ran into Al. He was telling me about a good book he just read", he winked at Albus and the pair of them dissolved in a fit of giggles again.

"Are you coming or not?" Said the same boy impatiently.

"Alright, keep your hair on" he said, standing up and planting a hand an Albus's shoulder.

"I'll see you around, Al" he said, before following the boys out of the kitchen.

"Yeah, see you" Albus called after him.

Albus had had no idea at the time that Mark was interested in him. Of course, looking back now all the signs were there, it was obvious really. But he'd never had a guy flirt with him before. This was entirely new territory for Albus. He just thought he'd made a friend. 

Clueless as he was about that, Albus was concious of the fact that he fancied Mark immediately. He had always known he was gay. Mark would later tell him about about how he had first discovered he was gay, after years of thinking he was straight. How it was like some big revelation. It wasn't like that for Albus. He had never been interested in girls that way. When he reached the age where he started thinking about sex and things like that, it was always guys that he thought about. That was just the way it was. No confusion. No revelation. It was just who he was. The reason he never told anyone wasn't because he felt like it was wrong in any way. It was because it was just another thing that made him different. Another thing people could potentially shun him for. Another reason for his family to be disappointed. Anyway, it wasn't like he ever actually lied about it. No one ever asked.

He thought again about Mark standing in that doorway, the first time Albus had seen him. He was so cool and collected. Casually leaning against the door like he owned the place. And he was gorgeous. His hair so effortlessly stylish, his muscular arms practically bursting out of his t-shirt. His deep brown eyes, looking at Albus in a semi-indecent way. It made Albus hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Mark had sent Albus an owl that same night. 

 

_Hey Al,_

_Hope you don't mind me writing to you out of the blue like this. Just wanted to say it was cool meeting you today. You really made me laugh with that thing about the Swedish dragons, I'm definitely going to use that joke and pass it off as my own._

_Anyway, if you manage to take a break from reading boring books send me an owl back. I'd love to hear more of your insights on how muggles could just use Sonorus instead of microphones. Just kidding. I really did enjoy chatting with you though._

_Mark_

_x_

 

After exchanging a few owls, Albus had invited Mark over again. It transpired that Mark was muggle born (that explained the fascination with muggle tech) and didn't get to do much magic at home. He could do it inside the house, now he was of age, but he still had to be wary of muggles seeing through the window. Albus suggested that he come over to hang out, and he could work on the radio thing there. Even in the garden, if he wanted, if it was sunny. It was obvious now that Mark must not have that much difficultly in bewitching a wireless radio in his bedroom without any muggles seeing. It was clearly a pretext for coming over to see Albus again. Albus shook his head, thinking about how naive he had been.

Mark had enthusiastically accepted Albus's invitation. Albus remembered how nervous he was, waiting for him to come over. He was coming by floo powder, but didn't know exactly when he'd get there because he had to travel by tube to Diagon Alley first (that was what the letter had said. Albus assumed it was some sort of muggle slang, as he had never heard of muggles travelling through tubes before). He tried on three different t-shirts, and then stood in front of the mirror trying to do something with his hair, but it was resolutely untidy and all over than he place. He thought about sneaking into James's room and borrowing some hair gel or something. But he didn't want to look as though he was trying too hard. And James would kill himself laughing if he saw Albus with styled hair anyway. No, natural was better. 

He jumped out of his skin as he heard the door open behind him, and turned round to see Mark walk in, his face lighting up as he saw Albus.

"Hey" he said simply, doing the salute thing again and smiling warmly.

"Hey" Albus said back, pleased to hear that his voice sounded normal, despite the fact that his heart was hammering in his chest. Mark looked even more handsome than Albus had remembered him. He was taller than Albus remembered too, and Albus was sure his biceps had increased in size.

There was an awkward pause, before Mark took off his backpack and pulled a small wizarding wireless radio out of it.

"So, I didn't think I'd bother bringing an electric radio, there's no way it'll work in a house with this much magic in it" he said, sounding completely at ease, like always, even though Albus was being so awkward. "I'm going to try and tune into a muggle station with this instead."

So that's what they did. They sat on Albus's bed with the wireless between them. Mark tapping away at it with his wand, trying various things. He talked Albus through what he was doing, so Albus didn't get bored, and Albus suggested a few things here and there.

"You said the frequency was 96.1 right?" Albus asked (he had no idea what that meant). "Try tapping it nine times, then six times, then once again."

So Mark did, and miraculously, they heard some music starting to come through. It was a poor quality connection, there was white noise in the background. But Mark grinned and grabbed Albus's shoulder.

"By God, he's cracked it!"

He made some complicated swirling motions over it with his wand and the buzzing reduced, until it was nearly gone, and the music played clearly over it. It was someone soulfully singing along to an acoustic guitar. 

Mark picked it up and took it over to Albus's desk, where he placed it down and then walked back over the the bed. He sat down again next to Albus, but he was now very close. Uncomfortably close. Albus felt awkward again. But he thought it would be rude to move away.

"So what do you think?" Mark asked. He was speaking quietly, since he was only about half a foot away from Albus. It felt very intimate.

"I like it" Albus said truthfully. It's not like the stuff you get on wizarding radio.

Mark chuckled.

"Yeah, no offence but the stuff wizards listen to now is like the stuff muggles listened to in the sixties. Not very cool."

"No." Albus agreed.

He wished he could think of something to say. He could feel Mark's eyes on him, but he knew he would start blushing if he looked at him, so he stared down at his knees.

Mark asked softly "am I making you uncomfortable Al?"

"No" Albus said, finally looking up at him. Mark's gaze was intense. Albus stared back into his eyes, transfixed. They were definitely down the rabbit hole now. He swallowed nervously.

"I just don't really know very much about... music."

Mark smiled and gently reached up to cup one side of Albus's face with his hand.

"I can teach you" he whispered as he leant in and kissed Albus gently on the lips.

Albus took a sharp intake of breath, but the kiss was already over. Mark had moved his head back a little, but they were still very close, and he was still holding onto Albus's face. They looked at each other with that same intensity. This time Albus leaned in.

They must have been kissing for a long time. Albus didn't know how long it went on for, but he didn't want to stop. Somehow they ended up reclining on the bed. He wasn't sure who had instigated that, but he was now on his back and Mark was on top of him. They were kissing furiously, their tongues exploring each other's mouths. Albus was running his hands all over Mark's back. Mark was using one arm to prop himself up over Albus, the other one was running through Albus's hair.

Albus felt like fireworks were going off inside his head. He felt animalistic. He couldn't think clearly at all, it was like something had just taken over him. It was like there was nothing else in the world except Mark. His lips on Albus's. His body pressed into Albus's. Mark stopped kissing Albus on the lips and started working his way around Albus's jaw, and then slowly down his neck. Albus could hear himself breathing heavily. An involuntary moan left his lips as Mark kissed a particularly sensitive spot just below his ear. Mark reached his hands up Albus's shirt and ran them across his bare chest. Albus felt something stirring in the back of his mind, telling him this was getting out of hand, but he couldn't stop. He continued to tilt his head back, giving Mark more access to his neck. Mark hit that same spot on the other side and this time Albus moaned louder. He gripped Mark with his knees, lifting his feet off the bed. He felt Mark's hands reaching down to undo Albus's jeans and suddenly he panicked. 

"Stop" he cried, grabbing Mark's hands, his whole body tensed up. Mark froze immediately. He too was breathing heavily. He looked at Albus through glazed, half closed eyes. His cheeks were flushed.

"Sorry." He did look genuinely sorry. He rolled sideways off Albus and lay next to him on his side, resting his head on his arm.

"It's OK" Albus said breathlessly, relaxing again. He rolled onto his side to face Mark. "This is new to me, that's all" he said.

Mark leaned over and tenderly kissed him.

"I understand."

 

-

 

 

Mark and Albus visited each other at least twice a week for the rest of the summer, and the visits were all pretty much like that. They would start off doing something innocent enough, usually listening to music. But they would invariably end up on the bed, kissing furiously and running their hands all over each other. The sex stuff came gradually. Mark was more guarded after that first time, where he seemed to think he had pushed Albus a little too far. Albus was tentative. He wanted to go further but he was nervous. He'd never even kissed someone before Mark. He didn't know what he was doing. But eventually they got there. Mark was clearly experienced, but that didn't put Albus off. He supposed it was good that at least one of them knew what they were doing. 

They never explicitly talked about it, but Albus knew that what they were doing was a secret. His family and Mark's friends didn't know that Mark and Albus were anything more than friends. He didn't even tell Scorpius. He and Scorpius hadn't been speaking when Albus and Mark first got together, and by the time they made up Albus was already in the habit of downplaying the whole thing. He wanted to tell Scorpius, but he didn't know where to begin to have that conversation. And he was afraid. It's not so easy telling someone you're gay. Especially not the most important person in your life.

So it was only logical that they be secretive about it at school. They would casually greet each other in the Great Hall, and when no one was looking Mark would whisper into Albus's ear about meeting up later. Albus was glad Scorpius knew now, he realised, not just because he wouldn't have to lie to him anymore. But also because Mark wouldn't have to pretend he barely knew Albus in front of him. It made it feel less like some sordid affair.


	15. Scorpius

Scorpius and Albus walked down to breakfast in complete silence the next day. Scorpius had a thousand random and disordered thoughts and questions swirling around in his head and didn’t even know where to start deciphering it all. In any case, he wasn’t sure he should bring what had happened up at all – he definitely didn’t want to say the wrong thing. But the silence between them was deafening, and it was certainly unlike Scorpius. So now Scorpius was worried that he would inadvertently offend Albus by NOT saying anything about it. He was starting to get a headache.

They sat down at the Slytherin table and Scorpius began to ladle porridge into his bowl, but Albus simply sat and took a deep breath.

“OK” Albus said calmly. “Come on, I know you have questions you want to ask. Let’s do it. Ask me whatever you want.”

Scorpius froze, ladle still in hand.

“Are – are you sure?” he asked, nervously.

Albus nodded.

“Yes. I mean, I might not be able to answer EVERYTHING. But you can still ask. And I’ll answer as much as I can.”

Scorpius swallowed nervously. He thought about it for a few moments, trying to decide what he actually wanted to ask.

“Scorp, you’re overthinking this already” Albus said, with mild amusement, cutting through his train of thought. “Just ask what you want to ask” he said earnestly. Scorpius nodded.

“OK” he said. “How long have you known?”

“That I’m gay?” Albus asked. Scorpius nodded. “Since before I met you” he shrugged.

Scorpius’s was surprised by this. He racked his brains trying to think of any indication Albus had ever given in the past that might hint towards his sexuality. Only once instance of ALbus being potentially romantically interested in someone occurred to him, but he didn’t REALLY want to talk about it.

“Erm… so what about…” his right eye twitched a little as he whispered “Delphi?”

Albus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Scorpius knew that he didn’t like to think about her either.

“I was never interested in her like that. Even before we knew… you know, who she was. I know you thought I did, at the time. I guess… I dunno, it was just nice to have someone notice me like that. I guess the attention was flattering, you know?”

Scorpius nodded. He understood that.

“How long have you and Mark…?”

“Since this summer. Not that long” Albus replied. “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner, I know.”

“It’s OK” Scorpius replied. “So is he your boyfriend then?”

Albus deliberated for a few moments. He didn’t seem to know how to answer that.

“I don’t know exactly” he admitted finally. “We’ve never really talked about it.” As he said this out loud he looked embarrassed. Scorpius wanted to ask more questions about that, but he could see that Albus was starting to clam up a little, so he let it drop.

“Does anyone else know?” he asked.

“No. No-one.”

“No-one at all? Not even family?”

“I tell YOU more than I tell my family” Albus assured him.

“OK” he replied simply. Scorpius then gave a curt nod, and began to eat his porridge.

“That’s it?” Albus asked, surprised.

Scorpius shrugged.

“Yes, I think so. Unless there’s anything YOU want to talk about?”

Albus shook his head and smiled warmly at Scorpius, who calmly started eating his porridge, like it was just another normal day. Which it was, really.

 


	16. Albus

Albus was sat watching Mark across the great hall, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Mark was talking to some random Gryffindor guy over at their table. Albus didn’t think he was the jealous type, but he didn't like what he was seeing. Mark was leant over towards this guy, so that they were a little closer than would generally be considered normal of two platonic male friends. But it wasn't that that was bothering Albus. It was the way that Mark was looking at him. Mark had his usual cool and calm air about him, he seemed to be chatting and laughing quite easily. But he kept breaking eye contact to look this guy up and down, with a mischievous sort of glint in his eye. Albus recognised that look. It was the one Mark used when he was surveying Albus.

Albus had noted over the past couple of months that his and Mark’s encounters were becoming increasingly brief, and were nowadays consisting more of sex than of any meaningful time spent together. But it had been such a gradual slide, Albus wasn’t even quite sure how it had happened. And he couldn’t be sure that it was intentional on Mark’s part. Or that it was even his fault. He was in his final year of school after all, and was pretty busy.

Scorpius asking if Mark was Albus’s boyfriend still echoed in his head from time to time. At first he had brushed it off, telling himself that he and Mark were on the same page and they didn’t need to put a label on whatever they were. But he found himself increasingly wondering if that were true. He sort of hated himself for feeling like that. He felt like he was being possessive and controlling. He knew that Mark cared about him. And their chemistry was something else. Of course they were together. It’s just that Albus didn’t 100% know what that really meant. Especially since it was still a secret from everyone except Scorpius. Not that he would have told anyone other than Scorpius anyway. But the fact that Mark didn’t want any of his friends to know struck Albus as a bit weird.

One thing he WAS sure of though was that he was not okay with Mark getting off with anyone else. 

Albus turned to Scorpius to see what he made of it, but he had been entirely oblivious to the events unfolding in front of them, and was engrossed in a textbook propped open on the table in front of him, his lips were moving silently as he read. He'd been having trouble mastering the patronus charm and seemed to be taking it rather personally. Since school was usually so effortless for Scorpius, Albus supposed that it must be hitting him quite hard to suddenly come across something he couldn't do. It was basically unprecedented. And he was responding by spending every waking moment either studying or practising, trying to crack it. 

Albus couldn't help but admire his dedication. He forgot about Mark entirely for a moment as he surveyed his best friend. He suddenly noticed the dark circles under his eyes (perhaps more prominent on his pale skin than they would be on someone else) and how he was squinting slightly, even though he had his glasses on. Little creases were forming around his eyes, making him look exhausted. Albus inwardly kicked himself for not noticing this before. For being too wrapped up in his own stuff with Mark.

He opened his mouth to say something about this, but fell short when he realised he didn’t know what to say. The words ‘are you OK’ seemed somewhat inadequate, and in any case Scorpius would likely brush off the question, insisting that he was fine. He didn’t like people fussing over him. Albus took a moment to think about how tightly wound Scorpius had been lately and started to wonder if this was about something more than schoolwork.

Before he had a chance to say anything, however, Scorpius snapped the book shut and started chattering about complicated wand movements. Albus nodded along but he was wasn’t really listening. He was still studying Scorpius’s face, looking for clues as to what was going on with him. That is, until Scorpius stopped mid-sentence, looking self-conscious.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, uncertainly.

“Like what?” Albus replied, hastily rearranging his features into something more casual.

“I don’t know” Scorpius replied, looking confused. “Like, suspicious, or something?”

"You look shattered” Albus told him. “I think you should take a night off.”

“What?”

"You running yourself into the ground isn't going to help anything. Didn't you say that you need to be feeling strong and confident to produce a good patronus? Maybe just chilling out a bit is exactly what you need."

Scorpius was looking sceptical, but Albus felt duty-bound to try and cheer him up now. And also a little guilty, for not having noticed until now.

"I tell you what, tomorrow I'll leave you alone to study, or I'll help you practise, whatever you want. But tonight, let's just go up to the astronomy tower, ok? Please?" Albus smiled warmly at Scorpius, whose expression softened. Albus knew he loved to look at the stars. And that he found it difficult to say no to Albus (although to his credit he was getting better at calling Albus out when he was being a prat).

"You're a terrible influence on me Potter, you know that?" Scorpius said, pretending to be haughty, but he was looking fondly at Albus. "Oh but wait" he added "I thought you were going to see Mark later?"

Damn, Albus thought. He suddenly remembered what had transpired immediately before this conversation and swivelled round in his seat, but Mark and the mystery guy had left the hall. He scowled, wondering if they had left together. He was torn now. He wanted to see Mark, to see what that had been about. But he definitely felt as though he'd been neglecting Scorpius lately. 

"Yeah but it shouldn’t take all night. I’ll meet you up there at about nine-ish, OK?" Albus said. He decided that he WAS going to go and meet Mark, as planned. There was no way of cancelling now anyway, since Mark had presumably gone back up to the Gryffindor common room. But he wouldn’t stay long. He was quite looking forward to just hanging out with Scorpius. Besides, depending on Mark's response to accusations of flirting with someone else, Albus wasn't sure that their romantic evening was going to go as planned anyway.

 

-

 

So a couple of hours later Albus was waiting for Mark in the prefects bathroom on the third floor. He wasn't sure if Mark was actually a prefect - he had never mentioned it before. It's would be just like him to sweet talk the password out of someone though. Albus still felt annoyed about what he had witnessed earlier, but wasn't quite sure on the best way to bring it up. Should he try and play it cool, like it was no big deal? Or should he be upfront and abrupt? 

He still hadn't made up his mind when the door opened and Mark strode in, flashing Albus a dazzlingly sexy smile. Damn, why does he have to look at me like that? Albus thought. One look from Mark was generally all it took to make Albus come undone entirely. But no, not today. Today they had business to attend to.

Albus steeled himself to say what it was he needed to say, but before he could get the words out Mark had pinned him against the wall, kissing him furiously. Like his life depended on it. Like he NEEDED Albus. And Albus forgot about just about everything...

 

-

 

Half an hour later, Mark was pulling his shirt back on and Albus was zipping his jeans back up. Albus's insides squirmed with guilt, as he remembered that Scorpius was waiting for him up on the astronomy tower. He also felt slightly ashamed of himself that he still hadn't brought up the thing from earlier. Although it no longer seemed like such a big deal. Still, there was a small, niggling thought in the back of his mind that maybe there was something going on. Albus was sure he was just being paranoid. But he just couldn't help himself.

"I saw you talking to some guy at the Gryffindor table earlier" he said, trying to sound casual, but he wasn't quite sure he had achieved it.

"Yeah you probably did" Mark said calmly, not looking at Albus, styling his hair in the mirror.

"So what is he on the quidditch team or something?" Albus asked, innocently enough. But Mark's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He carried on messing with his hair, but he was now looking at Albus's reflection in the mirror.

"No" he said simply. Albus waited for him to expand, but he didn't. Albus got the distinct impression that Mark didn’t want him to pursue the subject. Of course, this only made him want to even more. Albus started to feel genuinely worried now.

"I just... I wondered how you know him, that's all. He's not in your year is he?" Albus asked, trying to keep his tone light, but subtle undertones of accusation were starting to creep in.

"Erm, why?" Asked Mark looking suspicious for a second, but then instantly defaulting back to his usual carefree and playful manner "are you interested in him? Thinking of trading me in for a younger model?" He turned around and grabbed Albus by the hand, pulling him towards him. He started kissing Albus's neck, but Albus brushed him off, blushing.

"No nothing like that!"

Mark laughed. Albus shrugged.

"It's just... I dunno... I'm being stupid I suppose... Jealous..."

There. He had said it. He instantly felt better, because it sounded ludicrous when he said it out loud. They had only been talking after all, and in the great hall of all places. Not exactly a romantic setting. To Albus’s great surprise though, Mark did not look impressed.

"Jealous?" Mark asked, one eyebrow raised.

Albus shrugged again, feeling a little flustered. He was beginning to wish he'd never started this conversation. Everything had been just perfect a few minutes ago. He was ruining it all.

"I'm being stupid I know. I mean, I know we're... were together right?"

"What exactly do you mean by 'together', Al?" Mark was looking uncharacteristically serious now. 

Albus swallowed nervously. He didn't know what to say. Mark took a step backwards.

"Al, what do you think is going on here?" He asked, cautiously. 

Now Albus REALLY didn't know what to say. It felt very much like a trick question. Albus wanted to ask Mark the same question back but now he was afraid of the answer. In any case, Albus supposed he was about to find out, whether he asked or not.

"Look, Al" Mark had said defensively "I thought we understood each other. I'm sorry if you misunderstood what's happening here, but I never promised you anything. I mean, we're not in a relationship. You're not my boyfriend."

Albus didn't say anything, but he knew the disappointment must be showing on his face, because Mark went on.

"Al, come on, relationships are awful. It gets boring after about five minutes and then you just argue all the time. You don't want that. It's no fun at all, trust me. We have fun don't we? You don't want that to end do you?"

"No" Albus heard himself saying quietly.

"So you agree then? It's for the best."

"Yeah probably..." Albus had no idea why he was agreeing. He didn't agree at all. But he felt powerless. He didn't want Mark to leave him and he didn't know what else he could say. He supposed that having Mark like this was better than not having him at all. 

Mark started kissing him again and Albus kissed him back. He had such a mixture of emotions stirring up inside him that he really didn't know how he felt right now. But Mark was still here, and he still wanted Albus. And Albus knew he was glad about that. So he let Mark kiss his neck and run his hands all over him. It felt good to have Mark want him like that. 

After a few minutes Mark was getting ready to leave, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything and the question burst out of Albus before he could stop himself.

"Are you seeing anyone else then? You know, if we're not..."

He regretted it before he even finished speaking. He had already heard enough for today. He didn't think he could take any more.

"Forget it" he said, before Mark could even respond "that was stupid, forget I asked."

Mark looked annoyed. 

"I don't really think it's fair of you to ask me that Al" he said coldly "I mean, I've never asked you that have I?"

Albus shook his head, not looking at Mark. That means yes, he thought. Because he would have just said no, if he wasn't. There was nothing to be gained by keeping it to himself, if he wasn't. So clearly he was. Albus felt like someone had just gutted him with a blunt knife. 

"I think you need to think about what it is you want, and let me know yeah?" Mark had said, still in that cold tone that suggested Albus was the one in the wrong. He left the room and Albus felt more alone than he ever had in his life.

Albus felt dazed. Without even thinking about what he was doing he locked the door and undressed to get in the shower. He felt distinctly unclean. Dirty. He turned the water on and just stood there, letting the hot water fall on his head and run down his face. Even as the water ran over him he didn't feel any cleaner. He started to cry.


	17. Scorpius

Scorpius woke up from yet another dream about Albus and Mark in the passageway and shook his head violently, trying to get the image out of his brain. It had been haunting him ever since it happened. It wasn't so much the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about it that bothered him though. It was more the fact that he was aware that he enjoyed thinking about it. 

That's not normal right? He thought to himself. He knew of course that the reason he was so fascinated by it was because what he'd witnessed was pure, raw, uncensored sex. It's not something you'd EVER expect to see in the flesh, as it were. That was bound to leave a lasting impression.  Especially since it had happened at a time when Scorpius was feeling particularly insecure about his own sexual prowess. He wondered once or twice if maybe there was something to be learned from what he'd seen, that could help him with his own... endeavours.

Regardless, he was trying his hardest to get that whole passageway thing out of his head, because it was becoming increasingly difficult to look Albus in the eye. And it was very important that he not treat Albus any differently now that Scorpius had found out he was gay. Because Scorpius wasn't bothered about that, of course he wasn't. And Albus must surely have known that he wouldn't be. And yet he had been so afraid to tell him. So scared when he found out. This was a critical juncture for their friendship and Scorpius knew he needed to prove to Albus that it was all going to be OK.

He sighed heavily. The Easter holidays were fast approaching and Rose was coming over to stay at Malfoy Manor again. Scorpius was feeling under even more pressure to get it right this time. He couldn’t help but feel that this was the key to everything. If he could just get things right with Rose he wouldn’t be feeling so insecure and inadequate anymore. So then he wouldn’t be dwelling on that passageway thing anymore. So then things would be less weird with him and Albus. And things would be better with him and Rose. Yes, he HAD to get it right this time. The alternative didn’t even bear thinking about.

 

-

 

When Rose walked into Scorpius’s bedroom he was a wreck. He didn’t think he'd ever been so nervous. Even travelling back in time with Albus hadn't been this scary. But of course, that had been because Albus was there. Albus was so brave that he made Scorpius feel a little braver, just by being there with him. But there was certainly going to be no Albus here this time. Scorpius shook his head. Why was he still thinking about Albus right now? Bloody hell, he needed to get his head on straight.

The tension in the room was unbearable. Scorpius wished she would say something. Or that he could think of something to say. They were both just stood there, staring at each other. He was trying very hard not to glance at the bed - That would be far too suggestive. But it was taking a LOT of effort.

Then, without saying anything, Rose started to kiss him. Scorpius leant into the kiss, feeling a little of the tension melt out of him as he did so. It was always difficult to get things started, but once you were in the moment things went more smoothly.

They stayed there, kissing for quite a long time. Scorpius was enjoying this, and even starting to let go of some of the worry about what was to come, when Rose whispered in his ear.

"Let's get under the covers."

Scorpius felt the nerves start to creep over him again. He swallowed nervously and nodded.

After sliding in under the covers they begun kissing again and Rose ran her hands up Scorpius’s t-shirt and over his back. He enjoyed the feel of her touch on his bare skin, so he pulled his t-shirt off over his head.

Things continued to heat up and were going genuinely well. Rose was moaning softly.

As she did so, suddenly, an unbidden image of Albus moaning as Mark was on his knees burst into Scorpius's mind. He tried to push it away but he couldn’t get it out of his head. After a few moments of this insane internal struggle, Scorpius stopped trying to control his thoughts and just went with it. He felt vaguely like this was wrong somehow, but he was having a lot of trouble thinking clearly right now. Besides, the thought of the passageway thing was (for some unknown reason that Scorpius didn’t want to question too much) helping to steel his erection, and he NEEDED that right now.

“Oh, Scorpius” Rose whispered.

Scorpius whispered something back, completely lost in the moment. He had no idea what was even coming out of his mouth, until Rose froze. Her body, suddenly tense beside him cleared Scorpius's mind in an instant, and he realised what he had just said.

"Albus?" Rose repeated, quietly, dangerously. Scorpius backed away a few inches, horror struck. How had that gone so wrong so fast?

"I... I didn't... I didn't mean to..." He stammered. Oh God, this was bad. This was unrecoverable. This was unforgivable. What on earth had he done?

Rose was sat on the edge of the bed quickly pulling her clothes back on, looking both horrified and furious. Scorpius suddenly felt very exposed. He got out of the bed, wearing nothing but his underwear, walking around it to face her.

"I don't know why I said that" he pleaded "I'm so sorry."

"WHY are you thinking about Albus when you're in bed with ME?" She hissed angrily. 

Scorpius didn’t know how to answer that. How to explain. He didn’t even really know himself why it had come into his head. Or why he had apparently enjoyed it so much.

Rose finished getting dressed and stood up, marching towards the door. Scorpius grabbed her hand, desperate to stop her from leaving.

"Please! No, wait!" He begged. She yanked her hand free.

"DON'T touch me!" 

Scorpius had never heard her so angry. He also realised, with horror, that there were tears running down her face.

"Oh God, Rose, I'm so sorry! Please!" He gabbled as she continued to walk away. She had opened the door, when Scorpius cried out.

"He's gay!"

That caught her attention. She closed the door again and turned back to Scorpius. She still looked furious, but she also looked confused.

"You what?" She demanded.

Scorpius didn't know what else to do. He HAD to tell her. He had to explain. He knew that he was betraying Albus's trust, but at this precise moment he didn't care. Albus had gotten him into this bloody mess.

"He's... he's gay. I found out. I walked in on... I mean I saw something... Something I shouldn't have. And I don't know WHY, it just came into my head. It shouldn't have, I know that. I'm sorry. I just... I didn’t mean to. I'm sorry..."

Rose was frowning at him now. She no longer looked furious, but she still didn't look anywhere close to forgiving him.

"What did you walk in on?" She asked.

REALLY? He thought. That's what she wants to talk about? That's what she's interested in right now? But he didn't see what could do other than answer.

"Him and another guy... doing stuff. Oh God Rose don't make me say it... him and Mark."

"MARK?!" Rose was so surprised she even forgot to be angry for a second. "No, that makes sense actually" she muttered to herself. She looked sadly at Scorpius and began to cry again. "It all makes sense now."

She opened the door and walked out. Scorpius followed, disregarding the fact that he was half naked.

"Rose! Please don't go! We can talk about this! It was just a mistake!" He cried.

"No Scorpius" she hissed. She was angry again. "There's nothing to talk about. Leave me alone. Don't you ever contact me ever again. Consider us finished."

And with that Scorpius stopped following. He just stood, frozen on the spot, and watched her walk away down the hallway. He felt numb. How could everything have fallen apart so quickly?


	18. Rose

Rose didn't think she would ever stop feeling angry, or betrayed. When she had arrived back home sobbing that night, she had told her parents that they had argued and split up, but refused to give any more details. She thought she would probably take the real story to the grave. It was so HUMILIATING. Scorpius had had the hots for Albus this WHOLE time! She had dated him for a whole year! She even slept with him! And he wanted Al, all along. And the most infuriating part was that the idiot didn't even know it! The way he had said 'but Albus is gay'! As if that was a normal reason for Scorpius to be thinking about shagging him! That made it all the more awful. Because she couldn't even be angry with him, not really, because the moron hadn't done it on purpose.

She could still be angry at him for being a moron though. I mean honestly, she thought. Even if he didn't know before, finding out that Albus is gay should have tipped him off to the fact that he is too. She had flat out refused to speak to Albus ever since too. She knew it wasn't even his fault, and that he probably didn't even know that Scorpius fancied him. But every time she thought about Albus she thought about Scorpius saying his name, in the throes of passion. It was like a punch to the gut, every time.

Scorpius came to see her, the next day after it happened. She didn't know what he'd said to get past her parents, but it must have been good. Her father had been gearing up to go and rip Scorpius's head off when she'd come back from his house in tears. It was this, and nothing else, that made her hear him out.

"What are YOU doing here?" She asked coldly, as he entered her room, closing the door behind him. 

"I need to talk to you Rose" he said, with an air that suggested he had practised this speech. "Even if you won't take me back, I don't want to leave things the way we did."

"Why did my dad let you up here?"

The question seemed to surprise Scorpius, but he answered nonetheless.

"I told him I wanted to apologise. And I said there was a good chance you'd curse me into oblivion just for showing my face. He didn't seem too worried about it after that."

"Well I haven't ruled it out, believe me" Rose said sternly, but she was really quite amused. Imagining Scorpius pleading with her irate father, and her father actively hoping that she'd hex Scorpius.

"I know. Look, I'm sorry Rose, I really-"

"Let me stop you right there" Rose cut across him impatiently. She didn't want to hear him grovelling. There was nothing in the world he could ever say to make it alright. She didn't doubt that he was sorry, but sorry didn't make up for the fact that he had been in bed with her while thinking about someone else.

"I'm not interested in your apologies Scorpius. And you know damn well I'm not going to take you back. EVER. So let's cut the shit. You want to talk, let's talk. What did you really come here to say?"

"I came to say sorry" he looked confused.

"BESIDES that, Scorpius."

Scorpius bit his lip nervously. Rose could tell this wasn't going according to his plan. Good, she thought. Make him improvise. She might get a bit of honesty out of him that way. He seemed to be struggling to think of what to say, so she gave him a prod.

"Why don't we start with WHY you were thinking about Albus when... well, when you really shouldn't have been!"

"I told you, it wasn't like that. It was just this... image in my brain, I didn’t want it there, it just happened... I..." he looked miserable. Rose almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"What was the image Scorpius? No, I want to know. I want to know exactly what it was you were thinking about" she said fiercely. She wasn't even sure why she said that. She didn't want to know at all. No good could come from knowing what it was. But she wanted to make him say it. She wanted to make him admit it.

"I don't... please..."

"Tell me Scorpius. Either tell me or get out."

Scorpius looked like he was in pain. He really didn't want to say it, which was making Rose even angrier for some reason. Why couldn't he just admit that he fancied Albus? He couldn't possibly think she still didn't know at this point.

He relented under her stern gaze and blurted out:

"It was Albus and Mark in the passageway. Mark was sucking his..." He shook his head, his face bright red. He couldn't say it. "That's what I walked in on. That's what I saw. That's how I found out. And it's like, burned into my brain. You can't UN-SEE something like that..."

Rose was shocked. Jesus Al, she thought, a strange mixture of grossed out and impressed. Who'd have thought he had it in him to be getting head in the corridor at school. It's always the quiet ones right? She nearly laughed for a second, but then came to her senses again. She frowned at Scorpius, who was still bright red and was looking at the floor.

"THAT'S what you were thinking about? Not... YOU and Albus?"

"What?! NO! Jesus, no! Why would I be thinking THAT?" Scorpius spluttered. Rose felt completely wrong footed. She studied his earnest expression for a minute. He's an even bigger moron that I thought, she thought to herself. He doesn't even know that he wants to shag Albus.

"So have you ever thought about you and Albus?" She asked, genuinely curious now.

Scorpius was looking more confused by the second.

"What? No, of course not! I'm not... gay..."

Rose raised an eyebrow. She actually did feel sorry for him now. The poor fool had a long way to go in figuring this all out.

"But you were thinking about two guys getting off with each other when you were supposed to be doing sex stuff with me. You don't think that means anything?" 

"No, I told you it's not like that" he said desperately. Rose didn't know if he was trying to convince her or himself.

Rose sighed. She didn't want to say it. But she supposed she was going to have to. He needed someone to say it to him, otherwise he might never get there.

"You obviously fancy Albus, Scorpius."

Scorpius looked shocked, and Rose knew he wasn’t acting. He genuinely didn't know it yet. Her anger was fading fast, but that wasn’t a good thing because she was feeling more and more like she was going to cry. Scorpius looked on the brink of tears himself.

"I don't! I swear I don't!" he insisted. 

"You do Scorpius!" Rose said sternly, impatiently wiping a tear from her cheek. "You always have. Being with me was never enough was it? It was never what you wanted?"

"Of course it's what I wanted" he said, but didn't quite meet her eye. So it wasn't her imagination. He had felt it too. Or rather, he hadn't felt it. There had never been any spark between them.

"But it wasn't how you thought it would be, right?" She pressed him. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Well, nothing ever is, is it?" He said sadly.

Rose reflected on that for a moment herself. No, nothing was ever how you thought it was going to be. She shook her head slowly. 

"It should still be better than THIS though, don't you think?" She said sadly.

There was a long silence, which Scorpius eventually broke by saying quietly:

"I never meant to hurt you."

Rose closed her eyes and felt hot tears spill out down her cheeks.

"But you did..." She whispered.

There was another long silence. Rose just wanted him to leave now. She had had enough.

"You've obviously got some stuff to figure out" she told him. "But I'm not the one to hold your hand and help you through this voyage of self discovery OK? So just... go away and figure it out yourself."

"I'm not... I don't..."

"GO AWAY SCORPIUS." Rose had had all she could take of this conversation now. Scorpius did as she asked and left. She let herself dissolve into tears after he was gone.

He was such an idiot, how could he not see it? But she was an idiot too. She hadn't seen it either. They had all been going on, completely blind to it. But it was out now, and it had destroyed everything.


	19. Albus

Albus woke up alone in his bed. Mark had been next to him when he fell asleep, but apparently had snuck out sometime early in the morning. Or maybe even late last night, there was no way of knowing. He did this often. Albus thought that he should be used to it by now, but it still hurt. He felt like crap. Why the hell did he keep letting Mark treat him like this? He hated himself for it. And the self-loathing from letting himself be a doormat was even worse than the heartache. This had been going on for far too long now, Albus was exhausted with the whole routine. It had been nearly a whole year since they first met. And things had been so wonderful at first. But Albus knew now what kind of guy Mark really was. If he was truly honest with himself he had always known, but he pretended not to because he didn't want to acknowledge it.

Albus knew there and then after finding out that he and Mark were not exclusive that continuing to see Mark would be a bad idea, and that he was only going to end up getting hurt. But he hadn't been able to stop himself. There was just something about Mark that made him feel powerless. They hadn't seen each other again after that incident in the prefects bathroom until about two weeks later. Mark had pinched Albus's bum as they passed each other in the corridor and whispered for Albus to meet him later in the passageway. Albus had had enough time to think it through by this point and had decided that he was out. He had gone to meet Mark, but had set out with the intention of telling Mark what a dick he was, and how he couldn't just treat people like that. But before Albus got a single word out Mark was kissing him again, with that burning intensity. And Albus had tried to pull himself together, but he just couldn't do it. He had expected to be repulsed by Mark, knowing now what he did. But he wasn't. It still made Albus melt, the fact that Mark wanted him so badly. He even started trying in his own head to rationalise it to himself. He's here with me right now isn't he? Albus thought. So that must mean he wants me. Tonight, he wants me and only me. He wants me more than anyone else. That has to count for something right?

Before he knew it it was all over and he was zipping up his jeans again. Mark had just winked at him and then left. Like it was nothing. No big deal. Because to him it wasn't. And Albus was left crying in the shower again. He felt slightly sick with shame, remembering it now. It hadn't felt so sordid when it was happening, but it sure did afterwards. Albus could barely look at himself in the mirror. Mark was a dick, he didn't care. But Albus knew that and kept going back to him anyway. What did that make him?

It wasn't always like that. That was the worst thing about it really. If Mark consistently treated him like shit it might be easy to walk away. But sometimes Mark was wonderful. Sometimes he made Albus feel really special. Like he had at the beginning. One Saturday they had gone down to Hogsmeade together. They had walked a little way out of the town into the countryside and just sat there on the grass all afternoon. They were listening to that muggle music that Mark liked so much on one of his portable wirelesses, laughing and joking. Mark kissed him a few times, soft and gentle. He was almost never gentle. It made Albus completely melt when he was. They didn't even do any sex stuff that day, they just enjoyed each other's company. Albus really had thought that maybe it was a turning point. That maybe things would be different from that point on. But they weren't. 

It was infuriating really. Because Mark KNEW how to do it. How to be a good guy, how to treat Albus right. How to be something like a boyfriend. But it was like he just couldn't keep it up for more than a day at a time. Albus never knew what he was going to get when he saw Mark. Was he going to be sweet and loving? Or rough and sexy? Or just cold and calculating? Even when he was the latter, Albus still let him do whatever he wanted. And it had been worth it at first, because there was always the hope that next time he would get the sweet and wonderful Mark. But that Mark was becoming increasingly elusive these days. For every one encounter where Albus actually felt loved, he had to endure several of the other kind. Where he just felt used. 

It definitely didn't feel like it was worth it anymore. Albus wanted out. But he didn't know how to stop it.

 

-

 

Albus made plans to see Scorpius as soon as he heard that Scorpius and Rose had split up. The news took a surprisingly long time to reach him, considering how everyone in his family were usually such terrible gossips. It was about a week after the fact that his mother mentioned it to him. Well, that explained why Rose wasn't responding to his owls. She was probably shutting herself away, not wanting to talk to anyone. And she probably assumed that Albus would side with Scorpius over whatever happened. Albus reflected that she was right, he probably would. Unless Scorpius had done something terrible, which Albus couldn't imagine he had. He was surprised that Scorpius hadn't told him himself though. They had been exchanging letters and Scorpius hadn't said a single thing about any of it. Albus realised now that the fact that Scorpius hadn't mentioned Rose at all in any of his letters should have been suspicious. He felt as though he had been a bad friend for not noticing – too distracted by his own goings-on with Mark.

He was determined to make it up to Scorpius now though. Albus had asked if he could go over to his place. Scorpius had been reluctant to accept at first, which Albus was rather hurt by. OK, maybe he hadn't exactly been around much lately but he was trying now. He pestered Scorpius with letters until he agreed. Albus had said they didn't have to talk about Rose if he didn't want, which Scorpius had seemed relieved by. It must have been a really bad break up, Albus thought.

So he went over to Malfoy Manor later that day. He went straight into Scorpius's bedroom without knocking, like he always did, but Scorpius seemed startled by this for some reason.

"Albus!" He exclaimed in surprise. "You... I wasn't... hi" he smiled nervously.

Albus frowned in confusion.

"You knew I was coming right?" He asked.

"Yes. I did. Sorry. You're right. Yes."

Scorpius was very flustered for some reason. Albus opened his mouth to ask what was up, but Scorpius cut him off before he could speak.

"So, how was your Christmas?" 

Albus was taken aback by the overt enthusiasm in Scorpius's tone. He had seen Scorpius like this many times - being unecessarily bright and sunny. It usually meant that he was upset. He noticed the dark shadows under Scorpius's eyes  - perhaps more prominent on his pale skin than they would be on someone else. He looked exhausted. As though he hadn’t slept in days.

"Fine" Albus said dismissively, now scrutinizing Scorpius, who seemed to be having trouble looking directly at him. "How's yours?"

Scorpius's smile faltered for a split second, but he sounded more cheerful than ever as he responded.

"Oh it's been quite good I suppose. You know, considering..." He cleared his throat. "The weather has been nice."

"The weather?" Albus said incredulously.

"Yes, I like walking around in the snow. Hey, why don't we go out there now?"

Albus was starting to feel concerned now.

"Scorpius, it's raining outside" he said gesturing to the window.

Scorpius gave a nervous laugh. 

"Oh yes, you're right. Silly of me..."

Scorpius was now looking around the room, as though he was casting around for some sort of distraction. Albus had had enough. He walked over to Scorpius and put his hands on his shoulders, so that Scorpius had no choice but to look at him.

"What's going on with you Scorp?" He asked firmly.

Scorpius had an unidentifiable mixture of emotions on his face. Albus thought he looked slightly in pain.

"I'm not... nothing" he lied, smiling brightly. But there was something akin to fear in his eyes.

"Well obviously it's something" Albus said, still holding onto Scorpius. Scorpius looked pleasingly at him. Silently begging him to stop. But Albus didn't think he'd be being a good friend if he did. "Is it about Rose?"

Scorpius flinched slightly when Albus said her name. And then to his horror a single tear ran down Scorpius's cheek.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not handling it very well" Scorpius whispered. Albus went to hug him but Scorpius pushed his arms away shaking his head and wiping his eyes.

"Urgh. This is why I thought maybe you shouldn't come over" he said thickly. "I'm kind of a mess." He was looking at the floor, rather dejectedly. Albus never knew what to do in these situations. Scorpius was so resolutely cheerful most of the time, it was awful to see him like this. Albus even wondered now if he had done the right thing by confronting him about it. Maybe he should have just let Scorpius carry on with his manic-fake-happiness. Maybe that was just how he dealt with things.

"I'm sorry Scorp, I'll go if you want" he said.

"No, don't... I'M sorry. Let's just... talk about something else" Scorpius replied, still looking at the floor. "Tell me what you've been up to over summer so far."

Albus closed his eyes for a second in frustration. That really wasn't the best subject to change topic to. Because what Albus had been doing for the past few weeks was routinely letting Mark shag him and then feeling disgusting and worthless afterwards.

"Nothing really" Albus lied, trying desperately to think of ANYTHING else he had done. "Erm... I went to diagon alley with my parents. James is going to work at uncle George's shop while he figures out what to do with his life or whatever."

Scorpius smiled, for the first time since Albus had entered the room it actually looked genuine.

"I bet that will suit him" he said.

"Yeah" agreed Albus, grinning. 

They talked for a little while about various potential future jobs for Albus's brother (they spent a long time laughing, imagining him as a travelling salesman, using his cheeky charm to sell worthless junk to old witches). Albus was relieved to see Scorpius acting almost normally again. Then they segwayed into talking about their own futures. Scorpius actually seemed to forget entirely about all his troubles as he talked about some historical research institute in Godrics Hollow. He had that faraway look in his eyes, full of wonder, the way he always did when he talked about history. Albus was incredibly fond of that look. What Scorpius was describing sounded like a nightmare to Albus - studying for further qualifications but having to teach it all to yourself. Doing your own research, finding an area where there was potentially more to be discovered and digging into it. Writing a thesis on your research, which had to be something ground-breaking, that no-one had ever thought of before. But Scorpius was talking about it as if it was the most fantastic thing anyone could ever hope to do in their life. Albus supposed it would be an incredible achievement, if you managed to do it. And if anyone COULD do it, it was Scorpius. He marvelled sometimes at how incredible Scorpius was.

"What?" said Scorpius, suddenly shy. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

Albus shook his head. 

"Nothing. Sorry. I just forget how smart you are sometimes."

Scorpius looked both pleased and embarrassed. He looked away coyly. 

"I didn't mean to go on about it so much." He said apologetically.

"No it's fine" Albus said laughing. "I just - God I wish I had something I was that excited about you know? Or even just something I was good at. Mark's really good at charms so he's going to work for the ministry in the experimental charms department. He's not that psyched about it, but at least it's SOMETHING. Wish I had something like that."

"Oh right..." Scorpius said. "Um, is he starting at the end of the summer?"

Scorpius looked a little awkward again. Albus internally kicked himself for bringing Mark up.

"Yeah I think so" Albus shrugged. 

"You won't see him as much when we're back at school next year" Scorpius mused. "I think you'll probably miss him."

"Hmmm" Albus replied, non comitally. Truthfully he was quite hoping Mark would disappear from his life entirely after school, so Albus wouldn’t have to carry on this terrible… WHATEVER it was, anymore.

"You'll still see each other in the holidays though. And it's only one year after all." Scorpius said, evidently trying to be consolingly, but the look on his face suggested he was having extreme difficulty empathising with Albus's situation. Albus supposed it must be hard trying to comfort your friend about their love life when your own was in tatters. If he only knew.

"Scorp..." Albus said tentatively. "What happened with you and Rose?"

"You said we weren't going to talk about that!" Scorpius replied in strangled voice, getting up and walking over to the window, his back to Albus. “Look, I’m not… Maybe you should just go” he added.

Albus sighed. This was useless. Scorpius was obviously in no state for company right now. And he didn't want to let Albus in to comfort him.

"OK, I’ll go Scorp" he said resignedly. "Give you some time to yourself OK? Just... owl me or something, when you feel up to it." 

Scorpius didn't do anything to acknowledge that he had heard Albus. Albus was willing to bet he was probably silently crying again. He wanted to go over and hug him, but Scorpius had made it clear that he wanted some space. So Albus just left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It should go without saying, but again I want to make it clear that Mark is a fuckwad of the highest degree in this story. Don't ever let anyone treat you like that.


	20. Scorpius

Scorpius was NOT having a good Easter. Breaking up with Rose had been awful enough - especially the manner in which it had happened - but that had turned out to be the least of his problems.

He was just so confused. He couldn't get Albus out of his head. Albus had always been a big part of Scorpius's life anyway, but now Scorpius was thinking about him in an entirely different context. An entirely indecent context. And it felt really weird.

It was like something in his brain had just snapped that day he saw Albus and Mark in the passageway and he never managed to recover from it. He kept dreaming about various scenes in that passageway, involving himself and Albus. Sometimes Albus was the one on his knees. That was one thing. But sometimes Scorpius was the one on his knees. That was a whole other level of strange. He didn't want to do THAT... did he? Well that was exactly it, he didn't know anymore. 

But that wasn't even the worst of it - he had also starting thinking about himself and Albus in entirely different scenarios, doing entirely different things. Very very intimate things. Things that made Scorpius feel like he was going to explode with a mixture of shame and carnal lust. The idea of bending over while someone did THAT to him was terrifying. But it was also sort of thrilling at the same time. Scorpius could no longer tell where morbid curiosity ended and genuine desire began.

Ever since that eventful talk with Rose he felt like he didn't even know who he was anymore. Scorpius had never thought that he was gay. He had been so sure that he fancied Rose. For years and years he had been sure of that. And what she had said was true, the reality of being with her had always been a bit lacklustre. But that was just because reality never lives up to your fantasies. Especially not something you've been idealising for years. 

And it wasn't like he was thinking about anyone else, it was only Albus who ever entered his thoughts in that manner. And it was surely only because Scorpius had seen what he had seen. He had started experimentally trying to picture himself with guys in general and it wasn't really doing it for him. He just felt weirded out imagining anyone else doing THAT to him. But then, he felt weirded out thinking about sleeping with any random girl. He just wasn't that kind of person, he thought. He didn't really like the idea of sex without an emotional connection. But then, that didn’t make sense either, because there was nothing emotional about the way he kept thinking about Albus. It was animalistic. It felt wrong to look at his friend that way. Scorpius felt like some kind of sexual deviant.

Their friendship had suffered accordingly. Scorpius had only seen Albus once the entire duration of the holidays and it had been very weird. Scorpius was the one making it weird, he knew that. Poor Albus had had no idea what was going on. He had been asking about Rose and their breakup, which obviously was the very last thing Scorpius wanted to discuss with him. Scorpius had barely even been able to look at him, convinced that Albus would be able to see this strange, crazed lust in his eyes. Albus had left looking rather put out and hadn't suggested meeting up again since. They had continued to exchange owls though, as they always did. Scorpius was grateful for that small semblance of normality. Exchanging letters about the mundane goings on if their lives allowed Scorpius to think about Albus in an innocent way, at least half the time. And he needed that, otherwise he thought he might lose his mind entirely.

The very worst part about it was that the one person he could always talk to about anything difficult was Albus. Albus was the one he had always turned to. But he couldn't turn to Albus with this. It was way too weird. He needed to figure it out in his own head first, at the very least. But he was worried that the longer it took him to work it out, the further apart he and Albus were growing. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his best friend.

They were going back to school in a few days and Scorpius knew he needed to get his head together before then. He made his way downstairs to get a cup of tea to drink while he wrote a response to Albus’s latest letter.

It was quite late in the evening, so Scorpius was surprised to find his father sitting at the kitchen table, having a cup of tea himself.

"Hi dad" he said brightly, as he made himself a cup and then joined his father at the table.

"Planning a late night?" His father asked, nodding at the tea in Scorpius's hands.

"Hmmm, not sure yet. I just got a letter from Albus so I was going to write one back. But I might not finish it tonight, I don't know..."

"You're anticipating it taking a long time to write?" His father asked, rather pointedly. Scorpius knew he was getting at something, but he wasn't sure what yet. 

"Ummm, I don't know..." said Scorpius nervously. In truth he WAS expecting it to take a long time, but he didn't know how to explain why.

"You and Albus haven't seen much of each other this summer" his father said, his tone light and casual, but Scorpius knew they were zoning in on something now.

Scorpius shrugged, as though he hadn't really noticed, but his father wasn't fooled. He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly, surveying Scorpius carefully. Scorpius continued to sit in silence. After a few minutes his father took a deep breath, as though he were about to give a speech, but then hesitated.

Uh oh, Scorpius thought. Here we go.

"I don't want to pry son" he started, tentatively. "But I have been rather worried about you these past couple of months. You broke up with your girlfriend and barely said two words about it. Which is fine, you needed space and I respected that. But now there seems to be this rift between you and Albus... I'm not trying to intervene, I just... This is obviously a difficult time for you and it can't be a good sign that your best friend is hardly around anymore."

Scorpius said nothing and just stared at the table. He didn’t know what to say. He didn't know where he could possibly start to explain it all, even if he wanted to.

His father sighed heavily.

"I suppose what I'm asking is, is everything OK, Scorpius?"

Scorpius still couldn't look at him. He couldn't lie to him either. He shook his head.

He heard his father get up from the table and thought perhaps he was coming round the table to hug him. But when he didn't Scorpius looked up. His father was over by the cupboards, rummaging for something. He came back to the table with a bottle of mead and two small glasses. Scorpius watched in surprise as he sat down and poured them each a generous measure. His father picked up his own glass and took a sip, looking expectantly at Scorpius.

"It's really messed up dad" Scorpius said quietly. He took a sip of his drink. It seemed to warm his blood, and make him feel cosy. Like he was getting a hug from someone he loved. He took a larger swig, and the drink seemed to fortify him. He felt less vulnerable and less frightened. He looked at his father, who was still looking worried, but was just sitting there calmly. Scorpius respected the fact that he wasn't being pressured to talk. He knew that he could get up and leave the table if he wanted. But he didn't want to. He hadn't planned on telling his dad about any of this, but maybe that was his only option now. His dad had a lot of life experience after all. Maybe not to do with THIS, but still. What Scorpius really needed right now was advice from someone who knew more about the world of love and sex than he did. And he supposed that his father fit that criteria.

He took another large gulp of the mead, which gave him the courage to speak. His brain hadn't quite caught up with his mouth, unfortunately, so he just blurted it out.

"I think maybe I'm gay. And I think maybe I fancy Albus."

A ringing silence followed. Scorpius had never seen his father look so shocked. He was staring blankly, wide eyed, back at Scorpius, his mouth hanging open. Scorpius was scrutinizing his father's face for any signs of other emotions but shock was the only identifiable one. 

His father closed his mouth and swallowed rather nervously.

"Right..." He said quietly. He got up from the table, still wide eyed, and went back over to the cupboard. Scorpius was on tenterhooks, waiting to see what he was going to do. But his father said nothing and continued to stare blankly into space as he rummaged in the cupboard again. This time he brought back a bottle of firewhisky, and poured himself a double measure, disregarding the fact that his glass still had some mead in it. He drained the full glass and then looked at Scorpius, breathing out slowly, as though he was in pain. But his voice was quite calm when he spoke.

"Forgive me, I may be misunderstanding the situation... why is that a problem?"

Scorpius felt his heart soar. His father wasn't mad. He wasn't disappointed. He wasn't shouting or threatening to disown Scorpius. He wasn't up in arms about potential closer involvement with the Potter family. He had taken it better than Scorpius ever could have imagined. He was surprised, that was for sure, but he was staying calm about it. And he was asking rational questions. Scorpius could have sang he was so happy, and relieved. 

So he told his father everything. Well, almost everything. He left out the sex stuff, because however far down the rabbit hole they were now there are still some things you don't EVER tell your dad about. And his father just sat patiently and listened. Scorpius said that he and Rose broke up because she suspected he had feelings for Albus. He told his father how he had discovered a few months earlier that Albus himself was gay and that had made Scorpius look at him in a whole new light. He was getting to the point where he was trying to explain why it felt slightly shameful and wrong to be thinking about Albus the way he was, but he was struggling to find the words without being too explicit.

"So it's like, he's my friend you know? So I shouldn't be thinking about doing things like that with him, because that's a bit strange right?" He felt his face burning, but he continued, trying to explain. If he was asking for help he might as well make sure his father understood the whole picture. 

"And it's sort of difficult, thinking about doing those things anyway because that's all totally new to me and I have no idea what to think about it all, I mean, some of the stuff is... wow, I don't know, I just don't know if I could do that..." he finished, squirming with embarrassment. His father looked a little flustered himself.

He took another swig of firewhisky (Scorpius noticed he was on his third glass) but he still sounded calm and steady when he spoke.

"I see. That does all sound very confusing, when you muddle it up together like that." He leaned forward over the table. Scorpius thought he looked a little tipsy, but he continued to speak matter of factly. "I think we need to simplify this. Consider one issue at a time."

Scorpius nodded. That made sense.

"Firstly, it sounds like you're getting rather overwhelmed by the whole... sex... thing. Which is perfectly normal, regardless of sexuality. You're still very young Scorpius, I must say I thought it would be at least another couple of years before we had this conversation."

Scorpius said nothing. He thought wildly for a moment of telling his father that things happened a lot faster these days and that sex wasn't entirely unchartered territory for him. But he didn't know if his father's nerves could take it.

"So let's just put that aside for a minute shall we?" His father said, pouring more firewhisky into both their glasses, even though Scorpius had barely touched his. He looked relieved to not be talking about sex anymore. Scorpius was quite glad of that himself.

"I also think that working out if you are gay or not is far too big of a question to answer in one night. So let's put that aside as well." 

Scorpius nodded, but he was frowning in confusion now. What else was left if they were to disregard all that?"

"OK" his father said, businesslike. "Let's talk about Albus."

Ah, Scorpius understood now. He wasn't sure where this was going to get them though, he'd been thinking about Albus all summer with no discernable results. But he went with it. He was desperate enough to try anything.

"OK he agreed.

"So. I want you to imagine that you and Albus are sitting in a field, just the two of you. You're going to have a picnic later on, but for now you're just relaxing, enjoying the sunshine."

"OK..." Scorpius didn't see where he was going with this, but he did as his father said. 

"So you're sitting side by side, looking out across the field. It's a nice view, there's a lake and a forest in the distance. And you're just sitting there, in comfortable silence."

Scorpius closed his eyes, imagining the scene. He deviated from his father's description slightly, and imagined the two of them in a secluded spot in the Hogwarts grounds, looking over at the lake. They had done exactly that on many a summer afternoon.

"Now imagine that Albus takes your hand and holds it in his. Neither of you says anything, neither of you move, nothing else happens. But now you're holding hands. How do you feel."

Scorpius imagined this, trying not to overthink it and just react to the hand holding and nothing else. He felt a smile spread across his face.

"I like it" he said quietly.

"Now I want you to imagine that he rests his head on your shoulder. It's cosy and comfortable."

"Mmmm hmmm" Scorpius agreed.

"Albus is completely at ease with you. And you feel completely at ease too. There's no pressure or expectation to do anything. You can do whatever you want. Which can be nothing at all. I dont want you to think too hard about this, just answer instinctively. What do you want to do Scorpius?"

Scorpius took his time. He interlaced the fingers of his hands, imagining someone else was holding one of them, trying to immerse himself further into the scene. He tried not to think at all, to just let his mind wander freely. And he found that the answer came easily to him.

"I don't want to move, because it feels so nice sitting there and I don't want to ruin the moment... But at the same time, I want to kiss him."

Scorpius opened his eyes, surprised at himself. His father looked pleased.

"Well then, I think you have your answer." He said, a little smugly. He raised his glass as though proposing a toast. Scorpius clinked it with his own and they both took another drink.

"Yeah..." said Scorpius.

The answer really had been right in front of him all along. He felt dazed. He liked Albus! Like, really, properly liked him. Maybe even loved him. It was almost too much to take in. He was glad to finally understand, but really this opened up just as many questions as it aswered. What on earth was he going to do about it? He took a large gulp of firewhisky and that helped to centre him a little. But he was still reeling from the revelation. He shook his head, trying to clear it.

"Jesus dad, where did you come up with that?" He asked. This really had been a bizarre night.

His father smiled a little sadly.

"That was my first date with your mother" he said. His eyes watered a little at the memory, but he pulled himself together quickly. Scorpius wouldn't have minded a bit if he did, but his father didn't like to lose his cool in front of him. Scorpius supposed it had something to do with wanting to be a strong role model.

"Well" his father said, businesslike again. "I think we can draw the conclusion from that that you are, at least partially gay."

Scorpius nodded. Yes. It made sense. All the pieces were coming together now. It was still all too much to take in though. His head was swimming. He didn't know how much of that was down to the alcohol and how much was the emotional exhaustion.

"So that's two out of three questions answered" his father went on. He sounded incredibly pleased with himself.  "Well, let's say one and a half, shall we, we did say that it would probably take more than one night to decisively determine your sexuality. Some people don't manage it in a whole lifetime."

Scorpius nodded again.

"So as for the third question..." it was awkward again. They both took another drink. Scorpius thought his father looked rather drunk now, but he was admirably coherent, still. Scorpius wondered vaguely just how often these bottles came out of the cupboard, after he himself was in bed.

His father leaned across the table and Scorpius mirrored him, as though they were making some secret plans for something. His father spoke quietly, looking very seriously at him.

"Look, I know neither of us wants to be discussing this in detail, so all I'll say right now is - just go slow. Don't do anything until you are sure it's what YOU want. And don't ever think that you're SUPPOSED to want a certain thing. Because everyone is different."

Scorpius nodded again, looking his father in the eye to make sure his father knew that he understood. It was all excellent advice. It was all stuff Scorpius already knew of course, but somehow hearing someone else say it helped it all make sense in his head. His father was right, he had been muddling it all up. It was quite simple really. He liked Albus. He thought he might like to do sex things with Albus, but wasn't sure if he was ready. But that was OK, because he didn't have to anything until he was ready. He didn't have to do anything at all, ever. Not if he didn't want to.

He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He looked at his father in wonder and felt such affection for him that he had to get up and go over to hug him. His father returned the hug, still sitting in his chair. 

"Thanks so much dad. You really... You were the best tonight. You're always the best" he said into his father's shoulder. His father tightened his grip a little, hugging him more firmly for a moment, before releasing him.

"Any time" he said smiling as Scorpius let go of him.

Then without exchanging another word, they both went upstairs to bed, leaving the bottle, the empty glasses and the long forgotten cups of tea on the table.


	21. Albus

Albus decided to do it over at Mark’s place. He had spent a long time thinking about it after his visit to Scorpius, and had come to the conclusion that no matter how bad a break up was, it had to be better than THIS. He just couldn’t do _this_ anymore.

It felt a bit like walking into the lion’s den, but at least if he was at Mark’s place then he could walk out afterwards. If he invited Mark over to his house, he might be reluctant to leave. And Albus knew that it was important he not get sucked back in. He knew that Mark would try and talk him round, try and convince him that things were fine. Try and convince him that he cared about him. He had done it so many times. And Albus had caved so many times. Mark was very good at manipulating him, he understood that now. But that was good that he recognised it, because it meant he could take the necessary precautions.

His heart pounded as he turned onto Mark’s street. He kept repeating what he wanted to say over and over in his head. This isn’t working for me. I don’t want to see you anymore. You’ve treated me badly. I deserve better than this.

He took a deep breath as he knocked on Mark’s front door. Mark himself answered and did that stupid salute thing he always did.

“Al, come on in” he said, and leaned back against the door so that Albus had to squeeze past him. In spite of how much Albus hated Mark by this point, he still felt a stirring of longing inside himself as he did so. He took another deep breath and steeled himself. He stopped in the hallway and turned around to face Mark.

“Listen, Mark, I-“

Mark cut Albus off by grabbing him and kissing him. Albus had half been expecting this and held his ground. He pushed Mark away.

“Stop” he said firmly. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Mark gaped at him in stunned silence for a moment, but he recovered quickly.

“Come on Al, not this again” he said in a low and soft voice, snaking an arm around Albus’s waist. “You know I can’t live without you.”

This was such an empty statement that Albus felt insulted that Mark even thought it would work. He wriggled free and shook his head.

“Look you know this isn’t what I want. I always wanted more than this and you… you don’t treat me like… I deserve more…” Albus was getting flustered under Mark’s intense gaze. He was considerably less articulate than he wanted to be. But at least most of the right words were coming out.

“I agree” Mark said seriously, to Albus’s surprise. He stepped forward to close the gap between them and took Albus’s hands. He looked him in the eye earnestly.

“You deserve more. And I should give you more. You mean everything to me Al and I’ll do better, I promise. Please, just… give me another chance?”

Damn. That was actually very convincing. Mark was looking at him with pleading eyes and such apparent sincerity that Albus actually believed him for like half a second. Then he realised that Mark hadn’t actually promised him anything. All he said was that he’d do better. Doing better still didn’t mean being a good boyfriend. It didn’t even mean being an exclusive partner. It was just more empty words.

“Do better how?” he challenged him. “You’ll stop seeing other people? You’ll stop leaving after we have sex? You’ll spend time with me and not just expect sex all the time? You’ll be my _boyfriend_?”

Mark shuffled uncomfortably on the spot.

“Al, come on…” he said, as if Albus was being entirely unreasonable. Albus actually smiled at this as a wave of relief swept over him. This made it incredibly easy.

“Goodbye Mark” he said confidently, slipping past him and opening the door to leave. Mark grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Albus wait, please” he begged. Albus actually stopped and frowned in confusion.

“You called me Albus…” he said, turning around. For a minute he had no idea why that struck such a chord with him. Then it dawned on him.

“Umm, yeah?” Mark replied, looking confused.

“You never asked me” Albus told him. “What I prefer. You just called me Al right from the start. I think I even told you once that I prefer Albus. But you still called me Al.”

“I swear I have like, no memory of that” Mark said, still confused. “Everyone calls you Al…”

“Not everyone” Albus replied simply, and then he left.

 

-

 

Albus had expected to feel sad after the break up, if that’s even what it was. He had thought he might feel lonely or unloved. But he didn’t. He’d been feeling both of those things for such a long time when he was still seeing Mark. But he didn’t really get any of that. It was like he was too emotionally exhausted to really feel anything about it.

He received 2 more owls from Mark, and that was the last contact they ever had. He didn’t read either letter for a few days, and just left them on his desk. Eventually, curiosity got the better of him and he opened them, in the order in which they had come. The first one was just more of what Mark had said to him that day at his house. I’m sorry for everything, I’ll treat you better, please come back etc. There was no specific offer of exclusivity though. Albus actually kind of respected that. That was possibly Mark’s only redeeming feature – that he never lied. He rolled his eyes and tossed it aside and opened the second one. He was rather taken aback by the tone shift.

 

_Albus,_

_Apparently you prefer to be called Albus – I don’t remember you ever saying this to me but fine. Whatever._

_You seem to have made up your mind so I guess there’s nothing I can say to change things. I just wanted to let you know that you seem to think this was all one sided but it wasn’t._

_I was always up front about what we were – you’re the one who was always trying to push me to be something more, even though you know that isn’t what I wanted. You were constantly messing with my head. Saying you were going to leave but then coming back to me._

_Whatever, I’m done with you. I hope you’re happy now because God knows I tried to make you happy but nothing I did was ever good enough for you. Have a nice life._

_Mark_

 

Albus shook his head as he reached the end of letter. Did Mark actually believe any of that crap he just wrote? In his version of this story, was Albus the bad guy? Seriously? The guy really needed a reality check. He actually laughed out loud and scrunched up the piece of paper, throwing it in the bin. He leaned back in his chair and felt strangely empowered. And free. Finally free from all the mind games. It was honestly a relief.

Just then, another owl arrived at his bedroom window. For a second he thought maybe it was another letter from Mark, but he recognised the owl as Scorpius’s. He smiled automatically and retrieved the letter.

 

_Albus,_

_I hope everything is OK. I know I haven’t been around much these past few months and I’m sorry about that. I’ve had my own stuff going on, but that’s no excuse really for being a bad friend._

_Do you want to come over to mine tonight? Or maybe I could come to yours? I’d like to see you. I promise not to be as crazy as last time._

_I know you Albus and I know you’re going to say you’re fine even if you’re not. So if you write back saying it doesn’t matter or if you don’t reply at all I’m going to come over anyway._

_Scorpius_

 

Albus’s smile widened. How did he ever get so lucky as to have a friend like Scorpius. THAT was what he needed. Someone who was there for him, no matter what. Someone who just _got_ him on a fundamental level. Someone who could see right through him and knew when he was hurting. But who didn’t push him to talk about it or deal with it until he was ready. Someone whose affection was freely given and unconditional. Someone who really loved him.

His smile faltered slightly as he reflected sadly that Scorpius didn’t love him though. And he never would. At least, not in the same way that Albus loved him.

He had always tried to push those feelings down, because there was no point in even entertaining the idea. Scorpius was straight, for one thing. So there was no chance of him being interested in Albus because he simply didn’t look at boys that way. And even if he did, Albus wasn’t his type. He liked Rose, because she was smart and confident. Which Albus wasn’t. And even if by some miracle Scorpius was interested in him as more than a friend, it could never happen anyway. Because they were best friends. And Albus would never jeopardise that. Not for anything. Scorpius was so incredibly important to him as a friend that he would rather live his whole life pretending these feelings didn’t exist than risk losing him.

So he tried not to think about. He tried not to acknowledge it. And he constantly reminded himself that their friendship was more important than anything else. And it worked for the most part. But when Mark had called him Albus… It was like some invisible wall had been broken down. And now he couldn’t stop imagining Scorpius holding his hand and saying ‘Albus’ in that same soft, pleading voice.


	22. Scorpius

It was the first full day back at school and Albus had disappeared - Scorpius was looking everywhere for him, all their usual spots, but it seemed that Albus didn't want to be found. Although for once Albus's weird mood didn't seem to be because of Scorpius.

There had been an altercation earlier that evening at dinner. Some random guy from the year below them in Gryffindor had demanded to speak to Albus in private. Albus hadn't been as surprised as Scorpius was by this, so Scorpius assumed that they knew each other - probably through Mark, he imagined. This guy did not look happy though. In fact, he had had almost the same expression on his face as Rose had in the library, that time she had come to yell at Scorpius (which felt like a lifetime ago, now). But Albus hadn't seemed concerned about it. In fact, he looked quite bored by the whole situation. They had gone out into the entrance hall and that was it. Albus never came back. Scorpius hadn't seen him since.

He wondered who this guy was, and what they could have talked about. He reflected sadly that he and Albus seemed to be keeping an awful lot of secrets from each other these days. For two people who were supposed to be best friends, he felt like they hardly even knew each other anymore. That was largely Scorpius's fault, he understood that. Things had been awkward the whole time Scorpius had been with Rose. No matter how much Albus said he was fine with it Scorpius didn't think he ever really had been. And then after Scorpius had found out about Albus being gay things had been very weird. Of course, he now understood exactly why that was. Exactly why Scorpius had barely been able to look at him. He had been doing his very best to ignore those confusing feelings at the time, but he knew he had been acting weird. Things were better now. In fact, things were almost back to normal now. Now that Scorpius understood what he was feeling, it wasn't driving him crazy anymore.

Albus hadn't been entirely blameless though. His relationship with Mark had always been a touchy subject. He pretty much shut down any time Scorpius had tried to talk to him about it. Scorpius thought Albus probably never would have told him about it, had he not found out the way he did. And that was a pretty big thing to just never talk about. This whole chunk of Albus's life that Scorpius was excluded from. And the past few months he had been pretty distant in general. Scorpius had assumed it was a reaction to Scorpius being so odd himself, but now he wondered if maybe there was more to it. Was there something more going on that Albus didn't want to tell Scorpius about? More secrets?

Scorpius eventually found Albus in the strange not-shortcut passageway near the Slytherin common room. Albus must have really been trying to avoid him, he thought. Scorpius hadn't stepped foot in here since...

Albus was sat on the stairs halfway down the passageway, his back to Scorpius. He evidently heard him coming though, as he called out.

"Piss off, this corridor is occupied!"

"You don't scare me that easily Albus. I've seen much worse in here than you sulking."

Scorpius's tone was irritable. He'd just searched the entire bloody castle for him after all.

Albus turned round in surprise, and Scorpius saw that he was clutching a bottle of firewhisky, quite a bit of which had been drunk. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Albus. Yes, he was drunk. His eyes were glazed and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He still seemed somewhat in control of his faculties though. He was capable of coherent speech at least.

Scorpius didn't know what to do. He used to always know what to do, but he so rarely knew how to deal with Albus when he was being difficult these days. Scorpius sighed and sank wordlessly into a seat next to him. Albus offered the bottle. What the hell, Scorpius thought, as he accepted it and took a swig. Firewhisky, he knew, always made you feel brave. He thought he might need that, depending on how this conversation was about to go. He took another swig.

"So. You going to tell me what happened?" Scorpius asked.

Albus was silent. Scorpius didn't press the matter. He had learned years ago that Albus doesn't talk if he doesn't want to. But to his surprise Albus did speak up, after a lengthy pause.

"It was about Mark. About me and Mark. About him and Mark. About how it's all my fault, apparently."

He sounded mad. Scorpius was impatient, the firewhisky making him a little sharper than he would normally be.

"I'm going to need more than that Albus"

Albus sounded even more annoyed as he retorted.

"It's pretty simple Scorp. We were both shagging Mark and now neither of us are. This guy reckons it's my fault because I was apparently so immature about it that Mark doesn't want to date anyone who's still in school any more. Oh, but wait, we were never dating were we, he was pretty damn clear about that. So I don't really see what the fucking problem is..."

Scorpius was starting to piece it together.

"What? He was seeing someone else this whole time?" Scorpius was outraged. How could anyone do that to Albus? No wonder he was upset.

"He was seeing fucking God knows how many other people this whole time" Albus corrected him. "No, one would never be enough. Two would never be enough." He gave a hollow, humourless laugh. Scorpius looked at him in concern.

"So you found out about this just now?" He asked, gently. Albus looked confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked blankly.

"That's what that guy was telling you, right? That Mark was cheating on you?"

Albus scowled at Scorpius and took a drink of the firewhisky. He looked very angry, but he spoke in a flat, emotionless voice.

"No Scorp, I always knew about that. That's how I know Dan - that guy from today. Mark introduced us." He shook his head, anger started creeping into his voice as he went on. "I mean, he actually introduced us. Like, hey you guys should meet, since you have so much in common. Sick bastard... Sometimes I don't know why I let him..." He took another drink. "But forget it, it's over now."

"You knew?" Scorpius said, aghast. "You knew the whole time that he was sleeping with other people? But you carried on seeing him?"

Albus looked ashamed. He looked away.

"Don't.." He pleaded. He sounded genuinely upset.

"Albus..." Scorpius said, consolingly, putting an arm around his shoulders. "It's OK. I'm just surprised. I thought you two were properly together. You never said it was... casual?" Scorpius wasn't even sure what the right terminology was. He felt very out of his depth here.

Albus said nothing, but started to sniff, still looking away. Scorpius realised that he was crying. He took the bottle from Albus's hands and put it down behind them. He then put both of his arms around Albus, and nuzzled the back of his neck. This was the first time they had hugged properly since Scorpius had realised that he had feelings for Albus. He breathed in deeply, letting it wash over him, how nice it was. Then he felt guilty, for enjoying this so much, whilst Albus was clearly distraught. He felt a little disgusted with himself, thinking of those creepy guys who intentionally prey on girls on the rebound, when they're vulnerable. Albus had started to shake, with repressed sobs.

"Al..." Scorpius said softly.

"He used me Scorp" Albus burst out. "He used me and I just let him. So what does that make me?" Albus was starting to slur his words slightly, the firewhisky catching up with him. He was openly sobbing now. Scorpius held onto him as tightly as he could. His heart was breaking. His poor, darling Albus. How could anyone hurt him like that?

"You're not anything Albus" Scorpius said gently. "You two weren't exclusive, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you both knew about it."

Albus shook his head and covered his face with his hands.

"I wanted us to be." He sobbed harder than ever.

It all made sense now. How Albus had been so cagey when it came to his relationship with Mark. Because there had been no relationship. And that's why Albus had been so moody in general. Because he was in love with someone who didn't feel the same. Not just that, but Mark had been taking advantage of that, by the sounds of things, and had treated him terribly. Scorpius wished there was something, anything, he could do to take Albus's pain away. But all he could do right now was hold him while he cried.

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Eventually Albus's sobs subsided, but he stayed where he was, quietly hiccoughing, slumped against Scorpius, his forehead resting on Scorpius's chest.

“I was ashamed” he whispered, slurring his words quite badly. “It meant nothing to him. And I let him do it anyway.”

"You still could have told me you know" Scorpius said quietly. "You don't ever have to keep secrets from me."

Albus nodded and whispered "No more secrets."

Without thinking about what he was doing, Scorpius leaned over and kissed the top of Albus's head. Then he panicked slightly. Had that been a weird thing to do? Albus didn't seem to mind. He clumsily wrapped his arms around Scorpius.

"Hmmmm" he sighed happily and then whispered something incoherent. 

"Huh?" Scorpius said, trying to lift Albus's head up, but Albus had gone quite limp.

"He never loved me..." Albus whispered. "But you do..."

Scorpius's heart started hammering. But Albus didn’t notice anything. He remained slumped against Scorpius, his head buried in Scorpius’s chest. Scorpius didn’t know what to do or say. It had never crossed his mind that Albus might know how he felt. But then again, maybe he was just talking about platonic love. Friendship-kind-of love. Scorpius sighed. This whole evening had been very weird. It was all such a mess.

Scorpius knew he should get Albus to bed, so he pulled out of the hug, and with some difficulty managed to get Albus on his feet. Scorpius had to steer him, one of Albus's arms over his shoulders. They slowly shuffled towards the direction of the Slytherin common room, leaving the almost empty bottle of firewhisky at the top of the stairs. 

"You called me Al.. ." Albus said, as they walked.

"What?" Said Scorpius distractedly. "Oh, yeah, I guess I did..."

Albus smiled smugly. "But Albus usually. You love me" he whispered again. Scorpius scowled.

“Stop talking Albus” he said irritably.

“Shhh” Albus replied. “It’s OK. I love you too. But it’s a secret.” He whispered.

“Please shut up Albus” Scorpius said through gritted teeth. He really didn’t appreciate Albus toying with him like this when he was trying to help him out. Albus fell silent but Scorpius’s annoyance didn’t fade. What was Albus playing at getting into this state in the first place? And of course Scorpius was the one who would have to bloody sort it out. It seemed like he spent half of his life picking up after Albus Potter. And what thanks did he get? He got Albus teasing him. Telling him he loved him. Scorpius shook his head. That wasn’t fair.

He heaved Albus onto his bed when they got into the dorm. He turned him onto his side, so that he wouldn't choke if he threw up, but then he left him there, fully clothed, on top of the covers. Albus didn’t move. He seemed to be semi-conscious. As Scorpius went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, his mind was racing. 

People tend to be honest when they’re drunk. But sometimes they just spout nonsense. Which one was this? Scorpius had considered the possibility that Albus might have similar feelings for him, of course. But it was in a wishful-thinking sort of way. He never really believed that he did. But Albus was so mysterious. Who ever knew what he was thinking. In any case, it seemed like he was probably still in love with Mark. So it wasn’t like anything was going to happen, even if he did. So what was Albus trying to do, saying these things to Scorpius? Did he really know how Scorpius felt? And if so, was he trying to say he felt the same way? If not, was he making fun of Scorpius for it? That REALLY wasn’t fair.

Scorpius left the bathroom and went back into the dormitory. He looked at Albus, still passed out in exactly the same spot on his bed. There was little chance he was going to remember what he had said in the morning. Scorpius wondered whether he ought to bring it up tomorrow. After all Albus had no right to say things like that. Especially not if he was joking. Albus was careless like that sometimes. Scorpius often thought he didn't realise how much his words could hurt.

 

-

 

"How's your head?" Scorpius asked Albus, as he emerged from his bed, still wearing his clothes from the night before.

Albus grunted and shuffled into the bathroom, holding his head in both his hands. Scorpius heard the sounds of vomiting. Albus did not make it to any classes that morning.

He joined Scorpius for lunch however. He still looked distinctly ill, but he seemed to have a healthy enough appetite. He piled all sorts of things on his plate, as if trying to find the magic combination that would make him feel better.

"Feeling better?" Scorpius asked, amused in spite of himself.

"Mmmm" Albus replied, his mouth full, nodding and then wincing, as though this in itself was too strenuous for him. Scorpius couldn’t help but feel that Albus deserved this, after his behaviour last night. But all the same, he was his best friend. He poured Albus a large glass of water and pushed it over the table to him.

“Drink this, you’re dehydrated” he said.

“Thanks” Albus said gratefully, and downed it in one.

Scorpius said nothing and looked down at his own plate. He still had half a mind to tell Albus he had been out of line last night. But he had no idea what to say about it. And Albus had been very upset last night. That didn’t excuse his behaviour. But Scorpius did still feel a little sorry for him.

“You’re annoyed” Albus said quietly. It wasn’t a question.

“I am a bit” Scorpius acknowledged. Well, there was no point in lying about it, was there?

“I’m sorry” Albus said, putting his fork down. “I assume it WAS you who carried me to bed last night? Was I an arse?”

“Yes it was me. Yes, you were an arse. How much do you remember?”

“I don’t remember leaving the passageway. I remember crying. A lot. And you were there. Sorry about that.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about that bit” Scorpius said quietly. So he didn’t remember then. Or he was pretending not to. Scorpius actually felt relieved. Maybe this was easier. He looked up at Albus, who looked quite pathetic. He softened, looking into Albus’s woeful eyes.

"You feel better after talking about it? The whole thing with you and Mark?" he asked.

Albus nodded.

“Yeah, I really do. Truth is I haven't even thought about Mark for months. It was just when Dan brought it all up it kind of made some things resurface… I'm over it, really. I was more upset about... well, about the way I let him treat me." He looked ashamed again. 

"It's not your fault Albus" Scorpius said kindly.

Albus nodded but didn't look convinced.

"I should have told you from the start" Albus smiled weakly "you've always got my back Scorp. I might have made better decisions if I could talk it through with you." He nodded, decisively. "No more secrets."

"No more secrets" Scorpius agreed.

He felt a twinge of guilt at that. Because he was keeping a pretty big secret, one that threatened to derail their friendship if it wasn't dealt with properly.


	23. Albus

Albus was walking around the lake with a clearly agitated Scorpius, who had insisted they take their toast outside instead of having breakfast in the Great Hall. The grounds were full of students, laughing and lounging, enjoying the sunshine. But that wasn't what Scorpius wanted to do.

It was obvious that he wanted to talk about something, but he seemed to be having great difficulty with it. Albus suspected it had something to do with Rose and was not looking forward to THAT conversation, so he said nothing and just munched on his toast as they walked in silence. He realised though that they weren't just wandering aimlesslessly. Scorpius was leading them towards the weeping willow tree on the other side that they sometimes sat under. It was quite a walk away from the castle so not many people ventured this way, and the curtain of leaves that the tree provided gave them some privacy. It was one of their favourite spots in the summer. 

So this is a private chat, he thought. It must be serious. He moodily threw the rest of his toast into the lake for the giant squid.

Scorpius was no more forthcoming when they finally reached their destination however. Albus made to sit down in front of the tree trunk, but Scorpius put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to Scorpius, waiting for him to say whatever it was he was going to say, but Scorpius just bit his lip nervously. Albus was losing his patience. If Scorpius was going to say that he'd got back together with Rose Albus wished he would just spit it out already.

"Look Scorpius, either say something or let me sit down, would you" he said sulkily.

"I have to tell you something" he burst out, sounding slightly strangled. He still had one hand on Albus's shoulder. Albus frowned, confused. OK, he knew the whole Rose thing was a sensitive subject, given how he had reacted the first time round. But even then Scorpius hadn't looked this frightened. 

"Well" he said warily "Go on then."

Scorpius bit his lip again. He released Albus's shoulder and shifted his weight nervously.

"It's about me and Rose. Well sort of. I mean, it started with me and Rose. And how we broke up I mean. It's all a bit of a mess."

Albus raised his eyebrows. He hadn't been expecting this. Well, he had been expecting it to be about Rose, but he was surprised that Scorpius wanted to talk about the break up. It had obviously ended very badly and both of them had completely clammed up every time Albus had asked about it. He still had no idea what had actually happened. Albus said nothing but looked inquisitively at Scorpius. He paused for a moment and then went on.

"So, the uh, the reason we broke up is because... well because I said... well she...she found out I like someone else." Scorpius was looking slightly tortured. He was clearly having trouble getting the words out. Albus had resolved to just patiently let him talk, but this took him so much by surprise he couldn't help himself.

"You what?"

Scorpius wasn't looking at him now. He was staring at the floor between them. He opened and then closed his mouth a couple of times before going on.

"Yeah, she figured it out. Which was weird really because this is before I even really knew it myself. And it was bad, Albus, oh my God the timing could not have it been worse. It was like, wow...I don't think she'll ever speak to me again" he swallowed. "But that's not really what this is about" he added, seemingly more to himself than to Albus.

Albus was fully confused now. If this wasn't about that then what on earth was it about? And since when did Scorpius like someone else??? Rose was the only other person Albus had ever heard him talk about in six years. He wished Scorpius would look at him, so he could at least try and work out what was going on inside his head. He certainly wasn't doing a very good job of explaining it.

"So you like someone else?" Albus asked, hoping to start to clarify this. 

"Yes" said Scorpius desperately, as though he was admitting something shameful. Then he started talking very fast.

"And it's not just because you said you're gay. I mean, that is kind of what made me realise, but it's not just because I'm really suggestive or something. I thought for a while maybe it was, especially because that whole passageway thing was burned into my brain." He suddenly burned bright red. Albus blushed too. What was he bringing that up now? What the hell was he going on about?

"I was so mixed up I even talked to my dad about it. Can you imagine? Just me and him sat at the kitchen table and I'm like 'oh by the way dad I think I might be gay.' I'm such an idiot. But it was kind of helpful actually. It helped me figure some things out anyway.  About why it was so difficult with Rose in particular. Because in my mind she's so connected to you, and that whole thing was just so confusing. I mean, I think maybe I still do like girls in general. I've not quite figured that bit out yet. But I definitely like guys. Yep. That's... a thing."

He looked wide eyed at Albus, as if the words were surprising him just as much as they were Albus.

Albus still didn't fully know what he was on about, but he had deciphered one or two things in between all the rambling.

"So wait, hang on" he said shaking his head, trying to wrap his mind around it. And trying to suppress the huge burst of hope that was springing up inside him. At least until he was sure he had heard correctly.

"You and Rose broke up because you like someone else. And you think you might be gay, or bi or whatever?"

Scorpius nodded.

"So" Albus pressed on. "This person you like is a guy, I assume."

Scorpius nodded again and then turned away, putting his hands over his face and talking really fast again, his voice slightly muffled by his hands 

"And I know you probably think it's just because you're gay too but I swear it isn't. It's not about that. I mean, that did open up a whole world of possibility that I never knew was there and I did start to look at you differently, which I know I said I wouldn't and I'm sorry about that. But I think those feelings must have always been there, I just didn't know what they were. And I'm not telling you this because I think we're going to... I mean, I'm still kind of processing it myself to be honest. I'm not expecting anything. I just... I needed to tell you. Because the other night you were messing with me and it really got to me and that isn’t fair. So you need to know. And we said no more lies. No more secrets. So I had to."

Albus felt something roaring inside his chest. Was Scorpius really saying what he thought he was. He walked round Scorpius so that they were facing each other again and pulled his hands away from his face impatiently.

"Are you saying" he said slowly and clearly, needing to be absolutely sure. "The person you like. Is it me?"

Scorpius looked despairing.

"Did I not say that? Oh dear, this is all coming out wrong" he bit his lower lip again. 

Albus couldn’t believe his ears. For years, he hadn't dared hope that this could ever happen. He felt like his heart had stopped.

Scorpius was looking at the floor and didn't see Albus’s dumbstruck expression. He started talking again.

"This doesn't have to change things of course" he was trying to sound casual and matter-of-fact, but the fact that he was talking so fast and frantically ruined the effect a bit. "We're still friends and we'll always be friends. I know that just because you're gay doesn't mean you fancy me. And I know this whole thing is a bit weird, I'm sure it'll take some time to process. But it's doesn't change things. It-"

"But what if it does change things?" Albus interrupted. Oh god, he thought. This is it.

"I - what?" Scorpius looked confused.

Albus summoned all the courage that he could. Well, he thought, it’s now or never.

"What if it does change things?" He repeated quietly, taking a step towards Scorpius.

Scorpius swallowed nervously and said nothing. Albus took his hands and intertwined their fingers, pulling Scorpius towards him as he did so. They were very close now, staring at each other now with that familiar burning intensity that Albus had come to associate with sex. He felt something stirring inside him.

Scorpius was frozen on the spot with a mixture of emotions on his face. He looked longing, but also terrified.

Albus was scared himself. He was acting much more confident than he felt. He was terrified that any second Scorpius would back away and say that he didn’t really mean it, or that he’d changed his mind. But he didn’t. He was holding onto Albus’s hands and looking back at him with that hungry expression. Emboldened by this, Albus very slowly leaned in and gently planted his lips on Scorpius's. 

Scorpius responded immediately and kissed him back, pulling his hands out of Albus's and running them over his chest. The stirring inside Albus was growing in intensity. He snaked his arms around Scorpius's waist and pulled him closer still, so their bodies were pressed together. Their kissing became more fierce, more passionate. Albus felt like his insides were on fire. It had never been this intense before. He wanted Scorpius so badly, he couldn't stop himself. His hands were reaching up the back of Scorpius's t-shirt, stroking his bare lower back. Scorpius moaned quietly into the kiss and Albus though he was going to explode.

Albus tilted his head slightly so that their lips broke apart, but their foreheads were still pressed together. His breathing was fast and heavy. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes closed, trying to regain control over himself. His arms were still wrapped around Scorpius but he took his hands out from under his shirt. Scorpius's hands were still resting on his chest and he could hear Scorpius's breathing was heavy and ragged too. That wasn't helping. After a minute or so Albus's breathing became more steady and he flickered his eyes open to see Scorpius, who also had his eyes closed, his face slightly scrunched up.

"You OK?" Albus asked nervously.

Scorpius opened his eyes and looked nervously at Albus, then down at the ground. He seemed to be steeling himself to say something. 

Finally he said tentatively, looking pleadingly at Albus:

"I just... please don't do this if you're just seeing what it's like, or if you're just, I don't know, having some fun. Because this is more to me than that."

He looked down at the ground again. Albus frowned.

"Scorpius, look at me" he said sternly, and Scorpius did so, that pleading look still in his eyes.

"Bloody hell Scorp, do you really think I could kiss you like that and not mean it? I'm not THAT good."

Scorpius laughed a little and kissed Albus again. The kiss was less fierce and hungry than the first time, but still searching and passionate. Albus gently caressed Scorpius's face and Scorpius pressed into him again, wrapping his arms around Albus's waist. After a while the kiss was starting to get a little hot and heavy, so Albus broke it, not wanting to get carried away again.

As they broke apart, Scorpius pulled Albus in to a hug, his arms still around Albus's waist. Albus put his arms around Scorpius's shoulders and held him tightly. Hugs from Scorpius had always felt warm and comforting to Albus in a way that no one else's did. But this one was so much more than that. It felt more intimate than any of the kisses they had just shared and it felt more emotional than any of the things they had just said. It just felt... right.

As they hugged, Albus thought again about Scorpius’s pleading eyes when he said ‘this is more to me than that.’ Scorpius had just bared his soul to him (albeit in a slightly manic and rambling way) and Albus knew he needed to explain his side of it better. To reassure Scorpius that this was just as a big of a deal to him. But he wasn't good with words, and he didn't know how much he should say. He didn't want to freak Scorpius out. 

Scorpius turned his head in slightly and nuzzled into Albus's neck. He planted a single, gentle kiss on the base of Albus's neck, and a shiver ran down Albus’s spine. He kissed the top of Scorpius’s head affectionately. He didn’t think he had ever been so happy. So he decided right there and then that he was all in. They had said no more secrets, after all.

"I think I loved you from the first moment we met" he said quietly. He felt Scorpius tense up slightly, but Albus held him firmly in the hug. It was easier to say this when they weren't face to face. 

"I was so scared you know? About the sorting, about living up to... you know, all that. About making friends. But you wanted to be my friend right away. And not because I'm Albus Potter, but because you're you. You're so kind and warm. And even though the world is always so horrible to you, you always want to give it a chance."

"Al..." Scorpius said softly, lovingly. But Albus ploughed on. He didn't know if he'd ever work up the courage to say any of this again, so he was determined to get it all out now.

"And then I was put in Slytherin. And it should have been the end of the world, but it wasn't. Because I had you. And you're amazing. So funny and so smart. I don’t even know why you bother talking to someone as dumb as me, you're so smart. And we just had the best time together. I never knew I could be so happy. And then all that stuff happened in fourth year, and you were with me, through all of it. Even when I..." He tailed off, ashamed at the memory. He remembered their argument, when Scorpius had thrown it back in his face. Even though he knew he had deserved it, it still felt raw.

"I don't deserve you Scorp." He said, simply.

Scorpius pulled out of the hug and looked at Albus with a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.

"Why do you do that, Albus? Why don't you ever give yourself any credit?" He shook his head.

"I was scared too you know. You know two guys had already tried to hex me before you walked into my compartment on the train that day? They called me a death eater. One of the prefects was walking past and pulled them away. But it was still pretty horrible."

Albus was silent. Scorpius had never told him that before. He so rarely talked about anything that was sad or upsetting.

"But you wanted to be my friend. Even after Rose told you who I was. You didn't recoil in horror like everyone else. You were the first friend I ever had. And... you were the best friend I ever could have asked for."

Albus took his hand and pulled him in for another kiss. This time it was slow and gentle. 

"I guess it's lucky we found each other" he whispered.

 

-

 

They spent the whole morning under the tree, getting to know each other in a whole new context. Albus was now sat down, leaning against the trunk. Scorpius was lying with his head in Albus's lap looking up at the underside of the tree while Albus absent mindedly stroked his hair. Albus didn't think he'd ever felt so content and at peace. He didn't ever want to leave this spot. He bent forward to kiss Scorpius on the forehead. Scorpius reached his hand up to Albus's face and redirected the kiss to his lips. It was perfect.

There was something niggling in the back of Albus's mind though. Something that didn't make sense. 

"Scorp?"

"Hmmm?"

Albus sat up a little straighter.

"You said that Rose figured it out? That you liked me. But you said that was before you even knew it yourself. So how did she know?" He wondered if he'd missed any not-so-subtle clues that Scorpius had been inadvertently leaving. Like he had with Mark, what now felt like a lifetime ago. 

"Oh, well... um. I... well, we.." Scorpius sat up himself and turned to face Albus, sitting cross-legged. He had gone bright red and looked very flustered. 

He shook his head. "I don't think I can tell you."

This surprised Albus, after all that had just happened. He HAD said it was embarrassing. But more embarrassing than admitting to your best friend that you're gay and you fancy them?

He thought about pressing the subject. He was sure he could make Scorpius tell him if he wanted to. It would be very easy to guilt him into it ('you said no more secrets...'). But Albus didn't want to force him to do anything. So he leaned back against the tree and held out his arms to indicate that Scorpius should lie back down.

"OK."

"You sound disappointed" Scorpius said sadly, ignoring Albus's outstretched arms and shuffling over to sit beside him against the tree.

"I guess I am. But not in you" he clarified quickly "I just wanted to know the full story, that's all. But we don't have to talk about it."

"It's not that I don't want you to know how it happened. I mean, her figuring it out and then me figuring it out. It's just..." he sounded tortured again. He turned his head to look Albus in eye.

"It's so embarrassing Albus" he said seriously. "I wanted to die it was so humiliating. And she was SO upset. I think I may have scarred her for life."

"Oh come on" said Albus incredulously. "It CAN'T have been that bad, whatever it was."

"You think?" He said darkly.

"Yes, I think. I know you Scorp, you would never intentionally hurt her. What, did she catch you eyeing me up or something?" Albus laughed at the thought. Scorpius got so flustered just talking about anything sex-related, it was hard to imagine him casually leaning in a doorway undressing you with his eyes, the way Mark used to. The way he was sure he had done himself to Scorpius once or twice. Not that Scorpius had noticed of course.

"Worse than that"

"Come off it, what could be worse than that?" Albus was laughing again, but Scorpius didn't find it funny. He was still looking serious.

Albus put an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry Scorp, I'm not trying to force it out of you" he said seriously. "I'll stop." He kissed Scorpius on the cheek. There was a pause. Then Scorpius spoke up.

"We're together now right?"

Albus smiled warmly.

"Yes" he said confidently. It felt nice to say it.

"Like..." he wrinkled his nose a little "boyfriends?"

Albus laughed.

"You don't have to call me that if you don't want. But yes, I think that's the general idea." He couldn't stop grinning. He had never had a boyfriend before. He had never had anyone want him all to them self before. He couldn't believe Scorpius of all people was the one who did. He felt like the luckiest person in the world.

Scorpius smiled back, but still had a look on his face that suggested he was about to endure something terrible.

"Well that's good."

"Yeah, you look really pleased about it."

"No, I AM. Honestly, I am. It's just... in that case I think I better had tell you. So you don't find out some other way."

Albus sat up straight again and listened eagerly.

"I... I said your name. At a very inopportune moment." Scorpius said quietly, looking at Albus, waiting for a reaction.

Albus didn't see what was so embarrassing about that.

"What, did you accidently call her Albus when you were talking or something? Or - no?" It had just dawned on him "when you were kissing?"

Well, that would certainly have been embarrassing, he thought. But even so, it still seemed a bit of an overreaction on Scorpius's part. Rose would get over that soon enough.

Scorpius was looking at Albus with annoyance, as though he thought Albus was intentionally winding him up.

"More inopportune than that" he said pointedly. 

Albus was nonplussed.

"What, was it like in front of people or someth-" Albus stopped dead, finally understanding what Scorpius meant.

"Oh no. You weren't...? You didn't...? I didn't even know you guys were... oh God."

Scorpius nodded gravely.

"In bed?!" Albus hissed. And then when Scorpius didn't deny it he shrieked "Oh my God! You... my name! Oh my God! I can't even... oh I bet she was furious" and Albus dissolved into laughter imagining Rose's angry reaction and Scorpius's desperate apologies.

"It's not funny" Scorpius said with as much dignity as he could muster, but Albus had lost it completely.

"Oh Albus" he cried out, in an overtly sexual manner. Scorpius was bright red and looked scandalised. He punched Albus on the arm.

"Shut up" he hissed "It's not funny."

Albus tried to imagine it from Scorpius's point of view. He supposed it must have been pretty mortifying. But it still took him a while to stop laughing. It was especially funny because he knew how awkward Scorpius would have been in that whole situation anyway. And it could not possibly have gone worse.

"Oh my God" Albus said again as he finally calmed down, wiping the tears of laughter out of his eyes. 

"Are you done" said Scorpius with great annoyance.

"I'm sorry" said Albus earnestly. "No really, I'm sorry. It's just. God, no wonder you didn't want to tell me." He had to suppress another laugh. "I'm very flattered for what it's worth" he added, playfully, which caused Scorpius to blush again.

"Yeah well, it cost Rose her dignity, so I hope it was worth it" he said, still annoyed.

"Scorp" Albus said consolingly (although his voice came out still sounding amused), putting an arm around him again. "She'll be OK. She's strong.”

"I still feel bad."

"Yeah, know" Albus replied, trying his absolute hardest to sound serious.

They sat side by side in silence for a while. Scorpius rested his head on Albus's shoulder and Albus held his hand, entwining their fingers. Albus tried to drop it, but he couldn't stop the burning question he had from coming out.

"So you're not... a virgin... then?"

Scorpius didn't move his head from Albus's shoulder as he replied quietly. 

"Well the first time didn't really go so well. And the second time WAS going well but then THAT happened so we didn't... finish. So I don't know if that counts."

"The second time?" Albus said incredulously, pulling his shoulder out from underneath Scorpius and turning to look at him. "Scorp!"

"What?" Said Scorpius indignantly, looking flustered. Sitting up again, as he had fallen over sideways when Albus had moved.

"OK, I understand you not telling me about the second time, but you could have told me about the first!"

"Right" said Scorpius sceptically "and that wouldn't have been weird? Me telling you about sleeping with your cousin? And anyway" he added defensively "I didn't hear you telling me when you lost your virginity"

Albus blushed for the first time. He thought that was a little presumptuous of Scorpius, to assume that he had. He was correct, as it turned out, but still...

"Oh yeah" he replied sarcastically "that would have been a very normal conversation. Nice weather we're having isn't it? Oh by the way, I took it up the arse earlier."

"Albus!" Scorpius hissed, looking around as though he thought someone might have overheard. But their general vicinity was completely deserted, as always. "I meant like" (he whispered the word) "blowjobs and stuff. Jesus Al! So, you've... You've done that... then?" He looked terrified at the thought. Albus was embarrassed.

"Oh... well... yeah" he said quietly, not looking at Scorpius. "But don't worry, we don't have to... I mean, it's OK, I don't expect anything..."

Scorpius took his hand.

"I'm sorry" he said gently "I didn't mean to react like that, I was just surprised. I mean, I guess I will want to eventually, but for now can we just... one thing at a time, OK?"

"I was scared about it at first too" Albus admitted "But it's OK, as long as you ease into it. Like you said, one thing at a time."

He leaned back against the tree trunk.

"I'm not just trying to get into your pants Scorpius" Albus said earnestly.

"I know" Scorpius replied and kissed him on the cheek before laying his head back down on Albus's shoulder.

"But just so you know" Scorpius added, nervously. "I don't... NOT want you to get into my pants." 

Albus could practically feel the heat radiating from him, he could tell Scorpius was blushing so much. He felt a little flushed himself.


	24. Scorpius

Scorpius lay in his bed wide awake, staring straight up at the hangings. How could he possibly sleep after everything that had happened that day? What a day! The whole thing felt strangely surreal. He'd imagined it happening a thousand times, a hundred different ways, but he never actually thought that it would. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to wake up any second and find that it had all been a dream. But he knew it wasn't, because in all his fantasies (and there had been a lot of fantasies) it had NEVER been that good. He couldn't possibly have imagined how amazing the reality would be. It was totally unlike anything he had ever experienced.

And Scorpius knew now beyond doubt that he had never really had serious feelings for Rose. Because what he had felt when he was with her wasn't even close to this. Even at its best, their relationship hadn't even been a fraction of the day he had just had with Albus.

He turned his head to look over at Albus, who had left a gap in his bed hangings facing Scorpius as always. He was fast asleep of course. Typical Albus. He would sleep through a hurricane. He looked happy though. Happier than Scorpius had seen him in a long time. He was smiling slightly, nuzzling into his covers which were bunched up on one side of his face. It was very cute. Scorpius wished he could go over and kiss him. He smiled to himself as he looked back up towards the ceiling.

He felt a bit of a shiver go down his spine as he replayed the mornings events over again in his head. Scorpius didn’t exactly have a whole lot of experience with kissing, but as far as first kisses went, he thought this was probably one of the best in the world. He had been babbling of course, terrified that he had said too much and that his and Albus's friendship was in jeopardy. Because Albus was looking at him kind of funny. And of course retrospectively Scorpius now knew exactly why, but at the time he'd been so paranoid about it that he'd just assumed that Albus was freaking out and reacting badly to the news that Scorpius had feelings for him. And when he said something about things changing Scorpius had been more scared than ever, because he was sure that this meant he was losing Albus. And why was Albus looking at him like that? What the hell was that expression? Scorpius had never seen it before.

It wasn't until Albus interlaced his fingers with Scorpius's that it clicked what that expression was. It was longing. It was passion. It was the face Albus made when he was about to kiss you and OH GOD Scorpius would never ever get tired of that face. It made his cheeks flush and his breathing heavy just thinking about that face. And when Albus had leant in and their lips touched... WOW! It was like electricity pumping through his body. It was more intense than anything he had ever felt before. And he wasn't even consciously aware of doing it but apparently at some point he started running his hands over Albus's chest. And GOD the feel of that broad, masculine chest under his soft touch. And when Albus had started to stroke Scorpius's lower back... GOD he thought he might just burst from the intensity of it all. Scorpius could feel his face properly burning now. But he didn't want to stop thinking about it. It was everything. The feel of Albus's lips, his chest, his tongue, his hips pressed against Scorpius's..

Scorpius let out a slow exhale. He needed to get a hold of himself. He looked over at Albus again and felt another pang of adoration. He started to think about the other, less intense things that had happened. He thought about that hug. The first hug after the kissing. And it wasn't like they hadn't hugged before. But this was definitely different. Albus just fit in his arms so perfectly. It felt like they had melted into one person. And Albus had told Scorpius that he loved him.

Another shiver went down his spine as he replayed the exact words.

"I think I loved you from the first moment we met"

It felt like a dream. It was too perfect to possibly be real. Scorpius would have started to doubt that Albus had really even said that, had it not been so irreversibly burned into his brain. He remembered every syllable exactly as Albus had said it. The way he paused for a microsecond after "I". The way he said it quietly but clearly. Sincerely. The way he cleared his throat nervously after he said it. The way he held Scorpius slightly tighter as he was saying it, as though afraid Scorpius was going to run away. As if he ever could.

More kissing had followed of course. They kissed until Scorpius was starting to lose feeling in his lips and he felt exhausted from trying to control his breathing and trying not to get too carried away and to stop his hands from going everywhere. So then they had sat down side by side in front of the tree trunk, and Scorpius had said nothing, but just took Albus's hand in his own and sat there quietly looking out over the lake. He then asked Albus to rest his head on his shoulder. Albus had been slightly confused and wanted to know why. But Scorpius didn’t want to explain, he just wanted to know what it would feel like. Because so far reality was surpassing all expectations of what he'd imagined it would be like. So he was curious. And Albus had obliged, resting his head gently on Scorpius's shoulder  (Scorpius had to slouch a little to make it work, being slightly taller than Albus). And Scorpius sighed contentedly and just smiled. Because it was exactly how he'd imagined it. But better. He turned his head to kiss the top of Albus's head, and Albus squeezed his hand in return. And Scorpius thought he could never possibly be happier than he was at that moment.

 


End file.
